~via Surviving Narcissism
~via Surviving Narcissism
Ascension Avatar note: This brought a chuckle, but I suppose it would be no laughing matter for those who have experienced it (I’ve always kept narcissists out of my life…).
. . .
Post Narcissist Stress Disorder or PSND affects those who have just managed to extricate themselves from a relationship with a narcissist. It is very much like PTSD.
PSND can be easily triggered by even the smallest thing the sufferer associates with the narcissist, be it a familiar smell or sound or taste.
Sometimes people suffering from PNSD are unexpectedly faced with triggers that send them into a nightmarish flashback about some incident with the narcissist.
They being to relive painful moments that involve narcissistic rage and other traumatic memories without being able to stop themselves.
Sometimes they begin to doubt their own sanity. Long periods of abuse may have conditioned them into believing that they are lacking in something.
They suffer nightmares and often have difficulty rebuilding their confidence in themselves.
If you’re suffering from PNSD, you might begin to actively keep away from society and the things you once loved to do.
You’ll try your best to not dwell on the narcissist who hurt you. You’ll begin to feel like your mind is numb to all emotions.
Some try to overcome their issues by overusing recreational drugs or sedatives. Others might repress bad memories and have trouble focusing on even the simplest day to day tasks.
Forming new emotional connections will be hard and you might prefer to just hide yourself away from the world.
Sufferers become very volatile and are prone to fits of irritability and rage while at the same time suffering from overpowering guilt which they try to hide.
Some may gaslight themselves (i.e., they begin to question every little action and memory and somehow bring all the blame onto themselves).
Insomnia, hyperventilation, hypervigilance, paranoia and distrust are also common symptoms.
One form of love, which is considered the most frequent, is, unfortunately, toxic love. This love appears as a result of insecurity or fear, and it does not do favors to anyone.
Our environment will become even more toxic when we get attached more and more to those people that are wrong for us. Toxic people have the ability to drain us of our happiness, regardless of the fact if we allow that or not. These people build their toxic relationships on an unstable foundation.
Here, we will present you some sign which indicated that you might be in such a relationship, or signs which suggest that you are with a toxic partner. You will definitely need a change when you notice these signs because toxic people and relationships cannot be suitable for every one of us.
Sorry about this, but when you are not your partner’s priority now, you will never be. He or she has to hold you on the identical standard they hold themselves. Refusing to do that will be a sign that you have to move on, as you deserve a lot more.
The mistakes they made cannot be yours; they have to be prepared for everything they say or do. You should never be blamed for their own mistakes. Toxic people are obsessed with the idea of bringing other people down, especially those that they are closest with.
These people believe that they can do everything, while their partners are not allowed to do those same things. For example, you would like to go outside and spend some time together with friends, and in the same time, your partner is also with his friends; however, they will refuse that right when you ask them. Remember that they see you just as their property and not as their loved one.
Usually, toxic people will not really like the ones that really matter to you. They will not like that idea as those that care about you will normally see their true self. In fact, toxic people hate this, so they are going to try hard in order to keep you far from your loved ones.
Toxic people will never respect your limits, and they are always going to do something or force you into certain things which you wouldn’t like to do. As a result of this, you will find yourself in uncomfortable situations, which are not supposed to happen.
They seem like they try their best in order to bring those that love them down. Toxic people will not support those around them, but they will tear those people apart. For example, when you are happy about something, they are going to everything in order to ruin your happiness. This pleases them after all.
So, for some unknown reasons, toxic people feel good when they lie. So, they are going to lie you about something that is insignificant and goes too far in order to reach their goal, which is making you feel terrible. Remember that you cannot trust someone you love although you would like to do it with your whole heart.
Toxic people never allow their partners to have their personal space. For example, having your personal space means having time to reflect and think, and thinking well may make you come to the decision of leaving your partner. These people love crossing boundaries, so when you do something without their permission, they will be furious.
These people adore controlling you, and not only you but every single thing in life. This type of control means the ultimate superpower for them. Just said, they would like to have the ability to control you and make you do what they want you to do. They are going to cut ties when they see that they are not able to control you.
These people are never going to listen to you or care about your own necessities. They are selfish people, so they don’t want to worry about you or about everything you need. They practice only self-care, although you may be in a relationship for a long time.
Narcissists are people who are always full of themselves. They don’t look beyond themselves. They end up hurting people around who are compassionate and sensitive.
Narcissists always want to be the eye of the storm. They want constant attention. They dump the burden of their insecurities on others. Narcissists make people miserable in a number of ways. The term narcissist has its root in the Greek mythology. It comes from the myth about Narcissus. Narcissus was a man who fell in love with his own reflection. This self-obsession led to his demise eventually.
Freud has often theorized about this idea of narcissism and self-absorption. He had claimed that such people are far from the real world and often lead to their own doom. Moreover, it is not very tough to spot narcissists around us these days.
They can preach a doctor about medicine. This is how they are. Highly interruptive, narcissists hate those conversations which are either neutral or not about them. They crave attention and try to drive the conversations towards themselves only.
Just as they assume they are superior to others in every way possible, they also believe themselves to be at the top of the ladder. They believe that laws and dictates are below them.
However, with time, their true colors are out there for people to see. They exude charm, and confidence. But they wear off and emotionally drain you.
Narcissists tend to use rage to put you into a submissive stance so that they can naturally dominate and rule.
They aren’t wired to be sensitive towards others. Though neutral themselves, they know the tactics of how a human empath can be manipulated.
“Since people with narcissism have distorted views of themselves, they tend to perceive any positive interactions as expected and any negative interactions as personal attacks. They are particularly sensitive to perceived negative attacks because they live in a pseudo-reality or delusional state about themselves in relation to others. They may genuinely believe they are superior to others, so when positive reactions come their way they may take them for granted.”
~ Sharie Stines, PsyD
The Epidemic of People Taking Offense, While Tolerating Abusive Behavior as Okay
Dear ES Family,
The title of this article has been like wildfire in my inbox and has been increasingly observed in the social media landscape for many years now. Many people are taking offense and getting offended over minutiae, splitting hairs and getting really angry over nothing, while they ignore much larger issues that they actually should be concerned about. With this in mind, seeing this pattern escalate into epidemic proportions in the worldscape, this article is dedicated to the discussion of what it means when you are feeling offended, or when others get angry because they are offended at someone or something. When people are offended, it means their ego got bent out of shape when there was a disagreement and they did not get what they wanted. Many people get angry as a means of attempting to exert control over a person or situation. Maybe they didn’t like the way something or someone responded to them, or the way a particular situation is being expressed or represented.
I notice that most people get offended by what they imagined to be happening, rather than the actual event and taking the time needed to get more accurate information for a factual understanding to verify what really happened. Usually the person is angry about something that never happened to begin with, they imagined something in their mind or misunderstood the message and they remain offended while perpetuating the narrative of their personal delusion. It is quite unnerving at times to observe this unstable behavior in action, because it feels like a severe breakdown in treating others with respect and human courtesy, along with a rapid digression of critical thinking, mental clarity and balanced perception. The inability to see beyond a tiny slice of information, from which a personal interpretation or bias has been gathered from the limited lens of negative ego and the acquired 3D fractured belief systems.
Over the years, it has been interesting to note a pattern surface in the new age rainbow type of person that can get really offended so easily, when it would seem logical if they really did identify with love and light, they would be all about propagating love and kindness towards others. Most of it is a facade. Some of the most cruel and unstable people I’ve encountered over the years, are those that subscribe to the new age bliss out pill, complete with fake smiles and flowery words. No one wants the hidden wrath of a new age astral junkie when you confront their beliefs!
For many people, the tendency to take offense at little things is rooted in a false perspective of security in what the negative ego has created as the nature of the outer reality, according to that person’s belief system and mental perceptions. When that sense of reality or personal expectations are not met in the way that they wanted it to be, the ego gets offended and angry. We can see that this type of behavior has been increasing in the millennial or digital generation, in which the derogatory term, snowflake has been used to describe. The slang term snowflake may include a person perceived by others to have an inflated sense of uniqueness or an unwarranted sense of entitlement, or to be over-emotional, easily offended, and unable to deal with opposing opinions. Common usages include the terms special snowflake, generation snowflake, and snowflake that are commonly used as a politicized insult.
The term “snowflake generation” was one of Collins Dictionary’s 2016 words of the year. This tells us things are changing in the social landscape in the US. Collins defines the term as the young adults of the 2010s, viewed as being less resilient and more prone to taking offense than previous generations. The terms generation snowflake and snowflake generation are frequently used in reference to trigger warnings and safe spaces, or to describe young adults as “anti-free speech”, specifically in reference to a practice referred to as “no-platforming”. The term has also been used to refer to a reported increase in mental health issues among young adults.
All people would like to have a sense of personal security and safety; most people prefer to have the good opinion of others and want to feel that they belong. In our society, we tend to secure those good opinions with outer performance and images that are not always based in the truth, but of the false persona that we show to others in order to be accepted and belong. This need to belong somewhere informs what we do, how we speak, how we dress, how we express ourselves in our world and present oursleves to others.
When our security is based on our outer performance and image, we may feel threatened when someone expresses something that is perceived to be negative or unflattering about us. The undisciplined unconscious and conscious mind reaction to that threat is to take offense or become angry. Even a casual, flippant, or offhand remark can gnaw at us and steal our peace. The way to prevent taking offense is to address our desire for personal security, which comes from self awareness and building the core authentic self. As long as feelings of security are rooted in our negative ego and false self, the tendency to take offense, even at the little things, will exist. If, however, our feelings of security are not rooted in the negative ego’s perception of our outer performance and outer image, our perspective will change and our responses to the actions and comments of others will become much more balanced. We gain incredible strength when unconditional love is reborn as our new unifying principle, our true core self’s spiritual power and human dignity surfaces, and we are no longer shattered and overwhelmed by life’s circumstances.
Now let’s add another ingredient of severe ego distortion that results in narcissism where the perceived offense takes on wrath and rage. These people take getting offended to another level, which can show up with the f bombs and other choice words from random people becoming unhinged. Clearly, as spiritual catalysts we are triggering random people more often, and the NAA have been sending out the dark portals for assorted levels of harassment. Still it is obvious if one watches a youtube or comes into contact with social media, the insults, expletives, and character defamation tactics has gone to an entirely new level for public consumption. The subconscious content of the masses is spewing out to the surface for all of us to witness.
This is a good article.
How a Person with Narcissism Responds to a Perceived Offense
March 9, 2017 • By Sharie Stines, PsyD
Many people are simply not educated on the concept of the “narcissistic wound,” also known as the narcissistic injury, and are in for a wrath beyond comprehension when they offend a person with narcissism.
When offended, a typical person might experience hurt feelings or feel insulted or angry. However, the offended person might ultimately talk it through with the individual who committed the transgression, with a willingness to repair the relationship and move on. This can take time.
In general, bonds are developed and strengthened through the process of “rupture and repair.” People learn to handle insecurities in a relationship by building trust over time as they see each rupture or conflict in the relationship eventually leads to a deeper connection or repair.
Not so in the narcissistic relationship. Offending a person with narcissism can lead to immediate, lasting, and perhaps irreparable fallout.
When dealing with a person with narcissism, the rules are different. This is true in all aspects of the relationship, but for this article, the focus is on the narcissistic wound. These types of wounds are unlike other types of interpersonal ruptures. These differences are listed below:
Typical Rupture Themes:
*Reaction tends to better match the perception of offense
*May result in anger
*May take time to repair
*Is eventually resolved
*Offended person may react with anger, withdrawal, or repairable retaliation
Narcissistic Wound Themes:
*Results in rage
*Causes existential threat to relationship
*Is never resolved
*Dr. Jekyll becomes Mr. Hyde
*Person with narcissism reacts with punishment, banishment, devaluing, or discarding of offender
Since people with narcissism have distorted views of themselves, they tend to perceive any positive interactions as expected and any negative interactions as personal attacks. They are particularly sensitive to perceived negative attacks because they live in a pseudo-reality or delusional state about themselves in relation to others. They may genuinely believe they are superior to others, so when positive reactions come their way they may take them for granted.
People with narcissism generally feel an inner emptiness and thus need positive input from others in order to maintain their delusional sense of reality. When anyone contradicts their fantasy views of themselves, they get close to those unbearable empty feelings and react strongly in order to stop their impending sense of inadequacy.
People with narcissism tend to have a chronic inner rage. Most people experience anger, usually a response to a perceived threat of some kind. Anger helps us realize when we need to take action, and quickly. Usually when people are angry, they temporarily suspend their cognitive functioning and empathy to a large degree and tend to operate in immediate terms.
Since they are continually full of rage (the flip side of their internal shame), people with narcissism may use any slight as an excuse to release some of the pressure of this inner rage/shame struggle. article – http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/how-person-with…ived-offense-0309174
With the ongoing dedication to clearing negative ego and emotional distortions in the pain body, we must learn to inherently place value on our own self worth, and to be responsible to own our emotional triggers. We also must know how to set healthy boundaries and be able to let things that bother us go. In the times we live, it is a critical survival tool to learn how to let it go and not let hurtful or harmful words said by others, eat away at you inside, disturbing your inner peace.
Being easily offended is a habit that we all can overcome. It usually indicates poor understanding of one’s own emotions in favor of the strategy of trying to change the behavior of others. But, since we’re all autonomous beings, we are only able to change ourselves, this includes how we understand and react to the world around us. A commitment to changing oneself rather than trying to force the changes we want to see on others, is a valuable choice that requires humility and open-mindedness. Here is a productive article for Understanding the Emotions Behind Taking Offense.
I hope this is helpful in navigating these types of scenarios, which seem to be escalating in the outer landscape.
With a Loving Heart,
(source: Wiki – Snowflake, Understanding Emotions Behind Taking Offense)
~via EnergeticSynthesis.com – Time Shift Blog – July 18, 2018