Egoic Traits

December 28, 2022

LISA RENEE on “Authentic Communication”

“In everyday communication it is very common that people engage in fake conversations to avoid facing conflicts or challenging topics, because they fear the ramifications from what they say. This is usually because the person feels unsafe, their nervous system is in Fight-Flight and they have to hide behind a façade, with a false identity that engages in Counterfeit Conversations. We begin to increase our ability to trust ourselves and live in alignment to our authentic nature when we start being fully present in our communications, by saying what we really mean in order to reflect our Personal Integrity. In considering the impact of choosing to participate in Counterfeit Conversations, this engages with the root of dishonesty when avoiding saying something that needs to be said when there are conflicts that need to be addressed. Ignoring the issues and dancing around the conflict when you know they are present, will only exacerbate the problem, inviting in dark forces of confusion and chaos.”

~Lisa Renee

~via Personal Integrity

Photo by Ascension Avatar (6-22-2018)

November 13, 2020

LISA RENEE: “Narcissistic Wound”

“The narcissist actively solicits Narcissistic Supply — adulation, compliments, admiration, subservience, attention, being feared — from others in order to sustain his fragile and dysfunctional Negative Ego. Thus, he constantly courts possible rejection, criticism, disagreement, and even mockery. The narcissist is, therefore, dependent on other people. He is aware of the risks associated with such all-pervasive and essential dependence. He resents his weakness and dreads possible disruptions in the flow of his drug: Narcissistic Supply. He is caught between the rock of his habit and the hard place of his frustration. No wonder he is prone to raging, lashing and acting out, and to pathological, all-consuming envy (all expressions of pent-up aggression). Narcissistic injury occurs when a narcissist feels that their hidden, ‘true self’ has been revealed. This may be the case when the narcissist experiences a ‘fall from grace’, such as when their hidden behaviors or motivations are revealed, or when their importance is brought into question. Narcissistic Injury is a cause of distress and can lead to dysregulation of behaviors as in narcissistic rage. Any threat (real or imagined) to the narcissist’s grandiose and fantastic self-perception (False Self) as perfect, omnipotent, omniscient, and entitled to special treatment and recognition, regardless of his actual accomplishments (or lack thereof). The narcissist has a false sense of self. Underlying this false sense of self are feelings that he is not loveable for who he is or what he offers in relationships. When a lover or partner begins to feel doubts about the narcissist, that is when the narcissistic rage surfaces.”

~Lisa Renee

 

A repeated or recurrent identical or similar threat (real or imagined) to the narcissist’s grandiose and fantastic self-perception (False Identity) as perfect, omnipotent, omniscient, and entitled to special treatment and recognition, regardless of his actual accomplishments (or lack thereof). Narcissistic rage is a reaction to narcissistic injury, which is a perceived threat to a narcissist’s self-esteem or self-worth.

Narcissistic injury occurs when a narcissist feels that their hidden, ‘true self’ has been revealed. This may be the case when the narcissist experiences a “fall from grace”, such as when their hidden behaviors or motivations are revealed, or when their importance is brought into question. Narcissistic Injury is a cause of distress and can lead to dysregulation of behaviors as in narcissistic rage.

Narcissistic rage occurs on a continuum, which may range from instances of aloofness and expressions of mild irritation or annoyance to serious outbursts, including violent attacks and murder. [1]

Narcissistic Scar

A repeated or recurrent psychological defense against a narcissistic wound. Such a narcissistic defense is intended to sustain and preserve the narcissist’s grandiose and fantastic self-perception (False Self) as perfect, omnipotent, omniscient, and entitled to special treatment and recognition, regardless of his actual accomplishments (or lack thereof).

Narcissists invariably react with narcissistic rage to narcissistic injury.

Narcissistic Injury

Any threat (real or imagined) to the narcissist’s grandiose and fantastic self-perception (False Self) as perfect, omnipotent, omniscient, and entitled to special treatment and recognition, regardless of his actual accomplishments (or lack thereof).

The narcissist actively solicits Narcissistic Supply — adulation, compliments, admiration, subservience, attention, being feared — from others in order to sustain his fragile and dysfunctional Negative Ego. Thus, he constantly courts possible rejection, criticism, disagreement, and even mockery.

The narcissist is, therefore, dependent on other people. He is aware of the risks associated with such all-pervasive and essential dependence. He resents his weakness and dreads possible disruptions in the flow of his drug: Narcissistic Supply. He is caught between the rock of his habit and the hard place of his frustration. No wonder he is prone to raging, lashing and acting out, and to pathological, all-consuming envy (all expressions of pent-up aggression).

Four dimensions of narcissism as a personality variable have been delineated:

  1. Leadership / Authority
  2. Superiority / Arrogance
  3. Self-Absorption / Self-Admiration
  4. Exploitativeness / Entitlement

Causes of Narcissistic Rage

Challenge to their Confidence: People with narcissism often place unrealistic demands on their partner or children. These demands are frequently challenged by the person in the relationship. When challenged, the narcissists’ brittle egos are unable to accept the idea that they were wrong or seen as imperfect. They turn this into a personal attack and respond with rage toward that person to regain their sense of superiority.

Injury to Self-Esteem: When a narcissist’s shortcomings are pointed out by someone, they feel an overwhelming sense of shame. The narcissist then lashes out toward the person who pointed out the shortcomings. The rage is executed to seek revenge upon the accuser. The need for revenge results in explosive rage and does not die down until the narcissist feels the person was dealt appropriate punishment.

False Sense of Self: The narcissist has a false sense of self. Underlying this false sense of self are feelings that he is not loveable for who he is or what he offers in relationships. When a lover or partner begins to feel doubts about the narcissist, that is when the narcissistic rage surfaces. [2]

 

References:

  1. Narcissistic Rage and Injury
  2. Narcissistic Wound

See Also:

Narcissistic Rage

Doublespeak

Denial

Confirmation Bias

 

~via Ascension Glossary

April 4, 2020

LISA RENEE: “False Identity”

“The false self or the False Identity is usually formed to generate inner walls in our unconscious mind as a result of unhealed painful trauma and fears. People in pain form opposite sets of compensating behaviors, which means they act out behaviors that are actually the opposite of who they really are. This is done to keep up appearances or meet externally perceived expectations, connected to their mental body enforced belief system. These compensating behaviors turn into fear based coping mechanisms in order to get through life, with people putting up a façade or false identity. They may be reduced to impersonating other people’s behaviors around them in order to feel safe, where other people’s behaviors become the mental body architecture that form the false identity mask that they show to the world. Essentially, the more in pain a person is the stronger their walls of separation or Amnesiac Barriers, which form attachments to belief systems or emotional conflicts recorded in the instinctual mind or Pain Body. When these attachments do not get what they want from how they have been associated and valued by the Conscious Mind, they are in a Perpetual State of Suffering through a case of false identification. Removing Suffering in the mind from forming attachments is the process of removing association and the assigned values, which color or cloud judgments through Ego Filters. The ego mind has such a small picture of what’s happening in the overall, that it perceives the situation from its own limited beliefs and confirmed bias.”

~Lisa Renee

 

When a person has not recovered their core self, they have no sense of who they really are and what provides meaning and connection in their life. As a result, the False Identity accepts the mind control in the 3D worldview that we exist in separation, and reinforces the fear based belief systems that are promoted in the Controller Pillars of Society.

Without a strong core self, we let other people think for us and many times, dominate our personal will. As a result, the lack of Personal Integrity and instability within the core self is easily swept away into the massive power of these external forces, such as in Mind Control.

Many people are feeling inner pressure as they are being forced to move past old 3D identities and let go of the false self. As a result of current shifts, all people are being pushed to recognize and feel the differences between the authentic core self and the false identities used to mask pain and Trauma. The only way to regain an understanding of Personal Integrity, is to know the difference between what is authentic to you and what is not, and stop repeatedly acting out those incongruent behaviors that are out of integrity.

The false self or the False Identity is usually formed to generate inner walls in our unconscious mind as a result of unhealed painful trauma and fears. People in pain form opposite sets of compensating behaviors, which means they act out behaviors that are actually the opposite of who they really are. This is done to keep up appearances or meet externally perceived expectations, connected to their mental body enforced belief system. These compensating behaviors turn into fear based coping mechanisms in order to get through life, with people putting up a façade or false identity. They may be reduced to impersonating other people’s behaviors around them in order to feel safe, where other people’s behaviors become the mental body architecture that form the false identity mask that they show to the world. When we allow others the power to dictate to our identity, we become lost, confused and very unhappy.

At this time it is important that we not seek to repair and reprogram the false identity mask of the Negative Ego’s pain, or that part of our lower mind that has compensated with behaviors to hide away our deepest fears that we are unlovable, worthless, or inadequate. It is time to break through the ego walls of separation and fear, to discover the true authentic core self through unconditional self-love and unconditional Self Acceptance.

If we exist in false identities and behave inauthentically, wearing masks in our everyday life, suppressing our true emotions and feelings, we are engaged in Counterfeit Conversations, and thus we are unable to discern what is real and what is false. If we contribute to fake conversations in order to maintain the status quo, we are choosing to behave in a form of dishonesty. This produces self-delusion from the lack of Personal Integrity, and a person that has not developed the core inner self has very little emotional stability and mental clarity.

To address our core negative beliefs and core wound, we must look to the frustrations and irritations we feel in everyday life, by listening to the inner dialogue we have that is negative about ourselves, negative about others, negative about our conditions. Many people’s core wound is generated in their earliest memories during childhood, and this emotional pain may have been defined in previous lifetimes in similar situations, when the same emotional theme played out and was not resolved and healed, it is replayed into this current lifetime. Drilling down into the core wound of unhealed emotional pain and fear, takes us into the classic case study of ego Walls of Separation, feeling disconnected from experiencing or feeling unconditional love and self-acceptance.

Each person will grow to develop their own Ego Defense Mechanisms that reinforce the experiences of separation, which take us away from giving or receiving unconditional love. When we live in fear our body constricts and we hold back our heart, suppressing our feelings, withholding authentic and truthful communication, which increases emotional and mental pain. When we live in a fearful state our body will constrict from tension, it will contract away from giving and receiving unconditional love, and this denial of self-love is the main cause of continuing to experience and accumulate emotional pain. Our beliefs around family and our connections to family lineages will give important insight and clues to the negative core beliefs and wounds that we are struggling with, that we have inherited from the False Parent.

If we hold a vision of humanity as eternal souls coming into the material reality to learn lessons to grow and purify ourselves spiritually, it is easier to see that most people have forgotten who they really are as they are wearing many false identity masks. It is rare today to meet with completely honest, balanced and authentic people that reflect Personal Integrity. Thus in this deeper reflection, we may have forgotten who we really are and come to realize that we are still bargaining away our Soul. [1]

Perpetual State of Suffering

Essentially, the more in pain a person is the stronger their walls of separation or Amnesiac Barriers, which form attachments to belief systems or emotional conflicts recorded in the instinctual mind or Pain Body. When these attachments do not get what they want from how they have been associated and valued by the Conscious Mind, they are in a Perpetual State of Suffering through a case of false identification. Removing Suffering in the mind from forming attachments is the process of removing association and the assigned values, which color or cloud judgments through Ego Filters. The ego mind has such a small picture of what’s happening in the overall, that it perceives the situation from its own limited beliefs and confirmed bias.

These biases tend to accumulate a False Identity, something we think we are when we really are not that. When one notices associations and judgments that are being formed, identify this content as coming from the false perceptions of the Conscious Mind and lower minds. Observe what it judges and assigns value to. Notice its functioning and pay attention to any negative behavior, pain body triggers or automatic impulsive reactions. When a person is paying attention to their thoughtforms and reactions, they can choose to respond through shifting into the Observer Point by communicating with the conscious mind in order to prevent its tendency to create false identity. This is the Ego, it is not my real self. Notice the patterns of the Negative Ego, and when your body is in mental or emotional tension, it is the contraction of energy inside the body based on what the ego is thinking and ruminating upon.

The Ego wants this and that and the other thing. (whatever the ego is valuing or associating)
It wants this and that and the other thing (whatever IT is valuing or associating) Having self-awareness and communicating this way in the internal landscape, is a process of refusing to form attachments with the false ego identity and all of its biases, as related to the value that is placed on the thoughts and the result of placing judgments on yourself or others. Suffering in the mind happens when we harbor judgments of the self as identified with the value and the association that has been made by the ego mind. This is called setting up the False Identity. [2]

 

References:

  1. Personal Integrity
  2. Becoming Aware of Triggers

See Also:

Erosion of Personal Integrity

Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say

Spirit of Kindness

 

~via Ascension Glossary

August 27, 2019

JEAN M. TWENGE, PhD: “Is Donald Trump Actually Insecure Underneath?”

I’m often asked how you can spot a narcissist. Here’s my standard list:

  • Brag or show off
  • Name-dropping
  • Name brands or flashy possessions
  • Look at themselves in the mirror a lot
  • Turn the conversation back to him/herself
  • Insults others
  • Declarations about being the “best” or “great” without details
  • Emphasizes his/her status

I wrote that list two years ago — long before Donald Trump started running for president. Yet it could have been written just for him. As others have pointed out, the Donald is a textbook case of narcissistic personality. He is clearly functioning well and thus can’t be classified as having narcissistic personality disorder, the clinical-level form, which by definition only describes someone whose traits are causing them difficulty. Trump, instead, displays narcissism as a personality trait — the type we focus on in The Narcissism Epidemic.

Here’s the question: Is Trump’s narcissism a cover for insecurity? This is known as the “mask model” — the idea that grandiose narcissism is a show to distract people from the deep psychic pain underneath. A recent piece in Time made this claim, arguing that Trump is trying to cover for a “profound insecurity and lack of self-esteem.”

Here’s the problem: At least for grandiose narcissism like Trump’s, there’s no evidence that the mask model is true. Narcissists have high self-esteem on average, not low, and the most aggressive people are those with both high narcissism and high self-esteem. Children who become narcissistic are not those shamed by their parents, but those told they are special.

Perhaps the best evidence comes from studies measuring self-esteem in a subtle way, such as with an implicit self-esteem measure recording people’s reaction time in pairing words like “I” and “me” with words like “bad” and “good.” People who score high on grandiose narcissism also score high on implicit self-esteem. In other words, deep down inside, narcissists think they are awesome.

This is also just plain common sense: Does Trump really seem like he is insecure underneath? Does he seem to be in a state of psychic pain, or even covering for one? No — he’s having the time of his life. So why does he seem to crave all of the attention and adulation? The Time article argues that Trump is trying to fill a deep “psychic hole.”

I have a more straightforward explanation: He likes all of the attention because he thinks he deserves it. It’s never enough not because of psychic pain, but because he thinks everyone should pay attention to him. Attention is fun and gratifying; it has nothing to do with insecurity.

Why the Mask Model of Narcissism Is Dangerous

I will go further: I think it’s dangerous to believe that narcissists are insecure underneath. Not only is it not supported by empirical evidence, but it promotes the idea that the way to deal with narcissists is to boost their self-esteem and heal their “wounds” through more love and affection. This is like suggesting that the way to cure obesity is by giving everyone more doughnuts. The narcissistic person who ruins relationships through his self-centeredness does not need more love or attention — he needs to get kicked to the curb. The young adult who takes advantage of everyone around her does not need her self-esteem boosted — she needs to learn responsibility.

Narcissism is known as the “disease that hurts other people,” and the cure for it is real life — losing a relationship because of selfishness, losing a job because you’ve alienated people. Yes, we should try to understand narcissists and realize that their behavior is explained by this personality trait. But that does not mean we should believe that they are actually insecure — that myth undermines our understanding of narcissism because it presumes that it’s only skin-deep.

Many, many people have been hurt in relationships with narcissists by believing that they can change the person with more love. If only that were true — but sadly, most of the time, it’s not. We can have empathy for people with narcissistic traits, but that does not mean we have to believe they are suffering underneath. Most of the time, they are making other people suffer. They won’t suffer themselves until bad things start happening to them, often as a consequence of their narcissism. It is sad, but it is not due to insecurity.

Trump is not insecure. We should not be looking for the source of his “psychic pain” or expect that someday he will break down and show his true, doubting self. He really does think that he’s that great, and that his ideas are that great. If we believe otherwise — about him or anyone else with these traits — we risk underestimating the true power of the narcissist.

 

~via PsychologyToday.com