JEAN M. TWENGE, PhD: “Is Donald Trump Actually Insecure Underneath?”

I’m often asked how you can spot a narcissist. Here’s my standard list:

  • Brag or show off
  • Name-dropping
  • Name brands or flashy possessions
  • Look at themselves in the mirror a lot
  • Turn the conversation back to him/herself
  • Insults others
  • Declarations about being the “best” or “great” without details
  • Emphasizes his/her status

I wrote that list two years ago — long before Donald Trump started running for president. Yet it could have been written just for him. As others have pointed out, the Donald is a textbook case of narcissistic personality. He is clearly functioning well and thus can’t be classified as having narcissistic personality disorder, the clinical-level form, which by definition only describes someone whose traits are causing them difficulty. Trump, instead, displays narcissism as a personality trait — the type we focus on in The Narcissism Epidemic.

Here’s the question: Is Trump’s narcissism a cover for insecurity? This is known as the “mask model” — the idea that grandiose narcissism is a show to distract people from the deep psychic pain underneath. A recent piece in Time made this claim, arguing that Trump is trying to cover for a “profound insecurity and lack of self-esteem.”

Here’s the problem: At least for grandiose narcissism like Trump’s, there’s no evidence that the mask model is true. Narcissists have high self-esteem on average, not low, and the most aggressive people are those with both high narcissism and high self-esteem. Children who become narcissistic are not those shamed by their parents, but those told they are special.

Perhaps the best evidence comes from studies measuring self-esteem in a subtle way, such as with an implicit self-esteem measure recording people’s reaction time in pairing words like “I” and “me” with words like “bad” and “good.” People who score high on grandiose narcissism also score high on implicit self-esteem. In other words, deep down inside, narcissists think they are awesome.

This is also just plain common sense: Does Trump really seem like he is insecure underneath? Does he seem to be in a state of psychic pain, or even covering for one? No — he’s having the time of his life. So why does he seem to crave all of the attention and adulation? The Time article argues that Trump is trying to fill a deep “psychic hole.”

I have a more straightforward explanation: He likes all of the attention because he thinks he deserves it. It’s never enough not because of psychic pain, but because he thinks everyone should pay attention to him. Attention is fun and gratifying; it has nothing to do with insecurity.

Why the Mask Model of Narcissism Is Dangerous

I will go further: I think it’s dangerous to believe that narcissists are insecure underneath. Not only is it not supported by empirical evidence, but it promotes the idea that the way to deal with narcissists is to boost their self-esteem and heal their “wounds” through more love and affection. This is like suggesting that the way to cure obesity is by giving everyone more doughnuts. The narcissistic person who ruins relationships through his self-centeredness does not need more love or attention — he needs to get kicked to the curb. The young adult who takes advantage of everyone around her does not need her self-esteem boosted — she needs to learn responsibility.

Narcissism is known as the “disease that hurts other people,” and the cure for it is real life — losing a relationship because of selfishness, losing a job because you’ve alienated people. Yes, we should try to understand narcissists and realize that their behavior is explained by this personality trait. But that does not mean we should believe that they are actually insecure — that myth undermines our understanding of narcissism because it presumes that it’s only skin-deep.

Many, many people have been hurt in relationships with narcissists by believing that they can change the person with more love. If only that were true — but sadly, most of the time, it’s not. We can have empathy for people with narcissistic traits, but that does not mean we have to believe they are suffering underneath. Most of the time, they are making other people suffer. They won’t suffer themselves until bad things start happening to them, often as a consequence of their narcissism. It is sad, but it is not due to insecurity.

Trump is not insecure. We should not be looking for the source of his “psychic pain” or expect that someday he will break down and show his true, doubting self. He really does think that he’s that great, and that his ideas are that great. If we believe otherwise — about him or anyone else with these traits — we risk underestimating the true power of the narcissist.

 

~via PsychologyToday.com

UNQUOTABLE QUOTES: Michael David Raso on “The Chosen One” Donald Trump

“In surprising news today, Donald Trump retweeted that he is loved as the Second Coming of God and the King of Israel. Feeling some clarification of his grandiose beliefs might be necessary, he held an informal press conference. Gazing heavenward, he declared, ‘I am the Chosen One.’ What has Trump been chosen for? Is Trump really the latest King of Israel? Is he truly the Second Coming of God? Some people find it doubtful. Despite there not yet being a rapture, nor a uniting of world governments (quite the opposite in fact), Trump, in many circles has recently been compared, not to Jesus, but to Satan’s emissary on Earth. So yeah, Antichrist. I just had no idea the antichrist would be so gotdamned stupid.”

~Michael David Raso

~via Breaking News! Turns Out Antichrist is a F*cking Moron

VEIL OF REALITY: “Love Bite Plus — Panel Discussion on Paranormal Interferences In Human Love Relationships”

Ascension Avatar note: Got 3+ hours to burn? I certainly didn’t, but thankfully, have never allowed anyone or anything into my life describing this scenario… and never will!

By Bernhard Guenther

We have completed a 3 hour and 22 minute Panel Discussion on The Love Bite and The Dark Side of Cupid topic (October 17th, 2015). This is the most comprehensive discussion yet available on the internet on the theme of paranormal interference in human love relationships.

  • Panel Discussion participants:
 Eve Lorgen, James Bartley, Laura Leon, Bernhard Guenther, Carissa Conti, Tom Montalk, Arella Eliora.

We covered many topics, shared our experiences, research, pathways towards healing, protection and much more.


Discussion Bulletin Points:

  • The history of how the term “alien love bite” came about.
  • The alien love bite and the Dark Cupid “love bite” symptoms.
  • The targeting aspect of Dark Side of Cupid connections.
  • Obsessive aspect of the love bite, love and drug attachment extremes.
  • How the love bite can trigger life threatening conditions.
  • How ETs/aliens handlers keep us in states of prolonged isolation where emotional needs go unmet, thus setting us up for love bite relationships.
  • Trust issues, intimacy issues as a result of abduction histories.
  • The inverse of the Love Bite—disrupting true love and how its not unusual for truth seeking abductees.
  • How others connected to the “abductee” can be manipulated to keep the abductee from awakening.
  • The Predator vs Prey set up in Love Bite/Dark Cupid.
  • One of the persons, the “prey victim” is usually more spiritually evolved because essentially they are being targeted.
  • How the Predator in the duo tends to have Narcissistic traits or personality disordered. How the predator can mirror our needs so well. Sexual attraction high. How both the Predator and the Prey are both empathic and psychic.
  • How it feels like one is under a spell and the “red flags” of true intuition get overridden.
  • How some people are groomed to be addicts of love.
  • How the predator types are acting like “organic portals”, puppet people and are very destructive. Some predators are possessed by high level entities and demons, psychic vampires.
  • Many victims of the DSOC were literally targeted by sorcerers, “hosts” for inter dimensional entities.
  • How true soul sparks or Twin Flame true love partners will be targeted to be set up in counterfeit “twin flame love bites” so that they don’t meet the real soul mate partner. How to tell if its a real twin flame versus the imposter love bite.
  • Many online Twin Flame web sites, forums, gurus are actually part of the parasite/predator program to keep and ensnare people in love bites. How difficult it is to “deprogram” people from the belief in their twin flame when the red flags of a love bite are glaring at them. Denial.
  • Cult leaders especially dangerous and often are hosted by parasitic beings who encourage and set up love bites in masse. (octopus head feeders)
  • The feelings of when your own intuition is being overridden, like you are in a trance but somehow just “go along with it”.
  • Our bodies can react with psychosomatic symptoms when we have invasive negative energy beings invading our energy bodies. Dark beings should be incompatible with our frequency hence unusual physical symptoms or pain.
  • Sexual interaction the most potent form of energy transfer between two people and with entities.
  • Some fractured people are groomed to be “empty vessels” and puppets for mind control agendas that may play out in love bite scenarios.
  • False timeline reality creation, through “black magic like” rituals can bring in dark beings, and cause a true destiny distortion, and a love bite instead of “true love”.
  • Love spells can yield love bites.
  • Solar plexus chakra affected in many love bites, where our will is weakened
  • Childhood wounding can contribute to vulnerability to love bites, and also be the source of great learning and healing.
  • Drug use can open one up to entity possession, unhealed wounds, fracturing of personality.
  • Narcissists and entity possession often go hand in hand.
  • How the narcissist uses blame, projection, shame, guilt and punishing tactics.
  • How you cannot rationally communicate to a narcissist because they twist, blame, shame and project so much it’s futile. Just disengage.
  • Healing discussion in love bite situations.
  • Self-awareness and self-correction necessary to re connect with spirit and intuition.

 

~via HowToExitTheMatrix.com

THE MINDS JOURNAL: “10 Signs You Have A Toxic Partner Who Will Try To Take Away Your Happiness”

One form of love, which is considered the most frequent, is, unfortunately, toxic love. This love appears as a result of insecurity or fear, and it does not do favors to anyone.

Our environment will become even more toxic when we get attached more and more to those people that are wrong for us. Toxic people have the ability to drain us of our happiness, regardless of the fact if we allow that or not. These people build their toxic relationships on an unstable foundation.

Here, we will present you some sign which indicated that you might be in such a relationship, or signs which suggest that you are with a toxic partner. You will definitely need a change when you notice these signs because toxic people and relationships cannot be suitable for every one of us.

10 Signs You Have A Toxic Partner Who Will Try To Take Away Your Happiness

 

1. You are not a priority.

Sorry about this, but when you are not your partner’s priority now, you will never be. He or she has to hold you on the identical standard they hold themselves. Refusing to do that will be a sign that you have to move on, as you deserve a lot more.

2. They’re always blaming you for their mistakes.

The mistakes they made cannot be yours; they have to be prepared for everything they say or do. You should never be blamed for their own mistakes. Toxic people are obsessed with the idea of bringing other people down, especially those that they are closest with.

3. They have serious double principles and standards.

These people believe that they can do everything, while their partners are not allowed to do those same things. For example, you would like to go outside and spend some time together with friends, and in the same time, your partner is also with his friends; however, they will refuse that right when you ask them. Remember that they see you just as their property and not as their loved one.

4. They don’t like your loved ones.

Usually, toxic people will not really like the ones that really matter to you. They will not like that idea as those that care about you will normally see their true self. In fact, toxic people hate this, so they are going to try hard in order to keep you far from your loved ones.

5. They disrespect your boundaries.

Toxic people will never respect your limits, and they are always going to do something or force you into certain things which you wouldn’t like to do. As a result of this, you will find yourself in uncomfortable situations, which are not supposed to happen.

6. They always make you feel sad.

They seem like they try their best in order to bring those that love them down. Toxic people will not support those around them, but they will tear those people apart. For example, when you are happy about something, they are going to everything in order to ruin your happiness. This pleases them after all.

7. They tend to lie to you a lot.

So, for some unknown reasons, toxic people feel good when they lie. So, they are going to lie you about something that is insignificant and goes too far in order to reach their goal, which is making you feel terrible. Remember that you cannot trust someone you love although you would like to do it with your whole heart.

8. They won’t give you a space for yourself.

Toxic people never allow their partners to have their personal space. For example, having your personal space means having time to reflect and think, and thinking well may make you come to the decision of leaving your partner. These people love crossing boundaries, so when you do something without their permission, they will be furious.

9. They attempt to control you.

These people adore controlling you, and not only you but every single thing in life. This type of control means the ultimate superpower for them. Just said, they would like to have the ability to control you and make you do what they want you to do. They are going to cut ties when they see that they are not able to control you.

10. They don’t care about your necessities.

These people are never going to listen to you or care about your own necessities. They are selfish people, so they don’t want to worry about you or about everything you need. They practice only self-care, although you may be in a relationship for a long time.

 

~via TheMindsJournal.com

NENA: “If Someone In Your Life Possesses These Characteristics It’s Best To Stay Away From Them”

“Whatever the reason narcissists and sociopaths mistreat you and try to convince you that you are the problem, it’s time to end this. Making plans for the future with such person is like trying to walk through a brick wall — impossible and dangerous for your health and wellbeing.”

~NeNa

 

Being in a relationship with a narcissist or a sociopath is difficult on many levels, but one of the most ironic and infuriating things is when they try to convince you that you are the one who is crazy.

You would think how they can use psychology against anyone when they have so many psychological problems? And, why do they do that over and over again?

Before telling you the two possible reasons why narcissists and sociopaths shift the blame on you, here are some of their personality traits explained by Psychology Today.

Personality Traits of Narcissists

—A sense of self-importance (wants and expects to be seen as superior to others regardless of the level of their achievements)

—Preoccupation with success, power, beauty, brilliance

—The belief that they are special and can’t be understood by “common” people

—Interpersonally exploitative

—Lack of empathy

—Arrogance, envy, haughty behavior

Personality Traits of Sociopaths

Sociopaths possess some of the characteristics of narcissists, plus the following:

—Deceitful

—Inability to conform to social norms

—Impulsive

—Aggressive

—Irresponsible

—Lack of remorse and financial commitments

—Disregard for the safety of those around you

So, if you have someone in your life that possesses these characteristics, it’s best to stay away from them. And, if that person happens to be your partner, well you are in a toxic relationship.

These kinds of people will do everything until you believe you are the problem and them. You may tirelessly look for the “wrong” part of your character, but the truth is, you’ll never find it.

So, the question is, why do they do that?

Reason #1 — Their Superiority Complex

Narcissists have a superiority complex which makes them believe they are faultless. They can’t accept that they have done something wrong so somehow they always find a way to make you responsible.

That’s because they are manipulators just like sociopaths are. They will make you believe it’s your fault and not theirs. Even if you don’t accept the blame, you’ll find yourself analyzing the situation over and over to see if you did or said something wrong.

Even though no one is perfect, the very fact that you are worrying if you are the sociopath or narcissist in the relationship makes you aware of the problem – something that no sociopath or narcissist does.

Reason #2 —Transferring Their Issues on You

That’s why they often include their psychosis too. They see you as the one who’s dishonest, manipulative, and with lack of empathy and describe you as such in front of others.

But, you can’t change someone’s perception of you, so don’t even try to fight against it. Instead, let go and move on.

Final Words

Whatever the reason narcissists and sociopaths mistreat you and try to convince you that you are the problem, it’s time to end this. Making plans for the future with such person is like trying to walk through a brick wall — impossible and dangerous for your health and wellbeing.

Being stuck in a relationship with a narcissist or sociopath can cause huge emotional damage. That’s why it’s crucial that you leave that person as soon as possible.

Leave them without a chance to persuade you to stay because they will succeed thanks to their manipulative skills. And, once you leave them, stop communicating with them. Don’t answer their calls and block their social media profile.

Otherwise, they will try to trick you into believing them. If you have kids together, consult a qualified therapist to work out a “parenting plan.”

 

 

~via GottaDoTheRightThing.com