BARBARA BUCK: “Hiding The Wounded Healer”

Suffering can appear in our lives with little warning. It startles us out of complacency. One day we are swimming with the tide, just breezing through life, then wham! Disease and discord hit us when we aren’t looking. Suddenly our nice dip in the ocean becomes a terrifying race from the sharks that we had no idea were right below the surface.

Hardship in whatever form it manifests, can cause us to lose faith that life is on our side. It can render us incapable of trusting the ebb and flow of reality as we understand it.

When I was diagnosed with a chronic disease, I was utterly blindsided. I am a healing practitioner, so in the beginning stages of being sick I had faith that I would be more than capable of handling the issue and moving on with my life. I had multiple tools to help me.

I did all the work, taking a mind/body/spirit approach to the disease, but instead of getting better, I got worse. I did everything that I knew how to do as a healing practitioner, but all my knowledge was useless in the face of my wretched suffering.

I stopped trusting the process and began to believe that I must have done something horribly wrong to deserve the physical and emotional trauma that I was experiencing.

To top it all off, I had a belief that no one would want to see a healer with a chronic disease. How could anyone put their faith in me to help them, if I couldn’t even heal myself? A sick healer is a paradox.

I spent a good deal of time stoically putting on my best game face while seeking help from other practitioners behind closed doors. Everyone that I knew had plenty of advice to give me, from why I got sick to what might help me get better.

Conventional medicine, naturopaths, homeopaths, nutritionists, spiritual counselors, acupuncturists, biofeedback therapists, energy healers of all different types; you name it, I tried it. I stopped trusting the healthcare industry to give me answers, but the worst part about it all is that I stopped trusting my ability to help myself.

Suffering makes us feel weak, and in that weakness we become vulnerable. It’s a terrifying experience to recognize that no matter what we’ve been taught to believe, there are some things we don’t have control over. Sometimes when we allow ourselves to step into our vulnerability, we can feel like victims, victims to our bodies, our thoughts, our creative process that’s gone awry, to God, to the Universe, to genetics.

I have vacillated back and forth between all of these things. I blamed my ancestors, the environment, but mostly I held myself accountable for this disease. I have a firmly held belief that I am a co-creator of my reality, so clearly I must have made this happen.

I played the self-blame game very well. I decided that I can’t be trusted to care for myself when I am in this open, susceptible state. The Universe can’t be trusted either because it certainly didn’t have my back and stop me from creating this horrible mistake.

It didn’t even give me fair warning.

When we are raw and wounded, the first thing we throw out of the window is usually trust. The most natural reaction to our loss of faith is to wrap ourselves in a protective shell because we are afraid of what might come next. The world no longer feels safe.

When we become ill, whether it’s emotionally, spiritually, or physically, we tend to try to keep the world at a comfortable distance. Instead of stepping into our vulnerability, we hide it under the guise of courage and dignity.

Society rewards stoicism with praise. If we see a cancer patient, we say “Isn’t she brave? She never complains about the pain she’s in. She just keeps fighting. It’s amazing!” Very rarely do we acknowledge it when someone courageously embraces their vulnerability by taking a step into the darkness of their condition and seeing what gifts lie within the murky depths.

When we voice our fears or expose our vulnerability, it can frighten our loved ones. It makes people uncomfortable when they can see our wounds. It makes them remember their mortality and their own ability to suffer.

We often respond to this behavior by hiding behind a courageous mask, when the truth is that it makes us feel guilt, anger, and shame.

It’s time for us as healers to take that mask off. It is impossible to heal if we don’t allow the shadows of our creation to surface for healing, or try to hide them. Ignoring them is no longer an option.

 

Barbara Buck is a Foundational Reconnective Healing Practitioner, writer, and teacher. For more information, please visit her website at http://www.barbarabuck.org

 

~via We Are the Dreamwalkers

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CONSCIOUS REMINDER: “Before You Start Healing And Guiding Others — Heal Yourself First”

The self-help and spiritual community is a brilliant one where one could really grow and become the best version of themselves spiritually and mentally.

But somehow, even this community has become contaminated, not because of any corruption, but because of their lack of self-realization. There have been numerous occasions where I was sitting in front of a healer, a mentor, or a teacher, but they could not really heal me.

Rather, I found that they were wounded themselves and their wounds were reflected through me. What it showed me is that their wounds were affecting me and not in a good way.

Wounded healers can’t really help you much, they don’t practice what they preach. As a result, you only end up being worse than you already were.

It’s common knowledge — you will only trust professionals when they actually do what they are supposed to do. You would not visit a surgeon who knows all the basics of conducting an operation but does not know the practical application of the same, right?

That’s the case with a wounded healer. They know all the theoretical means to make someone spiritually healed, but since they have not practiced healing themselves, they fail to do anything about their patient. Oftentimes, they forget that we have been through this as well.

As a healer, I have been wounded too, and I have understood it when a wounded healer is trying to heal me. Similarly, as a wounded healer myself, I had tried to help others heal as well.

The vibrational energy that a healer has which should envelop a wounded person just doesn’t click. On top of that, if you are a healer and you are wounded, you cannot pose yourself as a healer. That is called fraud and you should not do something like that.

When you are trying to heal someone, or at least, when you are trying to become a healer — you have to ask yourself some important questions. They will be hard ones and you might find it difficult to answer them, but you must:

Have you been wounded before and have you become a healer without addressing the wound?

Are you still suffering from the wound but are trying to pretend that you are not and that is taking up a lot of energy?

These are internal questions that you must ask to finally understand yourself. If the answers are ‘Yes’, then you should stop being a healer for others and try to release your own wounds first.

How Can You Do it

Sit with yourself and go inside. Confront your wound, however painful it turns out to be. Don’t shy away from it. Remove any obstacle that is trying to stop you from transforming. Become free! Become a living experience of what you have always preached.

Don’t go about preaching to others when you need to direct your teachings to your inner-self. I have been in the same position. I became my own quantum alchemist and started to do some inner work to release all my blocks and transform myself.

It was painful and it does not go away immediately. I still work on it. Yes, my business failed during this time, but that’s okay. At least I was true to myself.

Self-Realization

Before you engage in this intensive programme, you have to go through some self-realization. First, you have to ask yourself:

Is it your service time that triggers your wounded self?

Do you have a specific kind of structure that makes you believe you can be a mentor or a healer?

If the answers are yes, then go on with your services.

But if it is no, then stop. Heal your wounded child. Become what you teach first. Transform yourself and then you can transform others.

The world needs healers, but it does not need wounded ones. Be a proper healer and help the world grow.

 

~via ConsciousReminder.com