“Telling the truth and making someone cry is better than telling a lie and making someone smile.”
“Telling the truth and making someone cry is better than telling a lie and making someone smile.”
“There’s a thin line between confidence and arrogance… it’s called humility. Confidence smiles, arrogance smirks.”
Somewhere along the line what we recognized as confidence may have been misconstrued a little. We started associating traits like aggressive, loud, opinionated and arrogant with being a confident person. You’ve probably seen the type, or maybe you are the type.
They know FOR SURE that what they believe is the unequivocal truth. Therefore they need to tell everyone about it… constantly.
When they aren’t able to convince someone to believe exactly as they believe they may be caught calling others, “asleep” or a “sheep” or any other plethora of derogatory names that I probably can’t mention here. We also may have misconstrued what it means to be humble a little bit too. Being Humble is associated with weak, shy, meek, and someone who cowers to others.
Someone who is so unsure of themselves or their beliefs that they keep them to themselves and are too insecure to tell everyone they meet their opinion on everything. Is there a way to be both? Can a confident person also be a humble person? In order to answer that question we must dissect what it means to be truly confident, and how does “artificial confidence” come about.
“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself the whole world accepts him or her”
There are many reasons a person may develop artificial/arrogant confidence. One may be cognitive dissonance, which means they may be holding on to a belief so tightly that when evidence is presented that contradicts this belief they may be completely unwilling to look at the new evidence. They may have become so attached to this belief that it has become a part of their sense of self.
Since they are completely attached to who they think they are it may be a painful experience for them to open their mind up and see things from a different perspective. The actual energy behind holding on to a belief so tightly that you are unwilling to let it go is fear.
The human ego is always afraid to be found out, so to speak, therefore, any threat of someone or something coming along and debunking one of its belief attachments may bring about a negative emotional reaction such as anger. Anytime anger is involved we can be assured that fear is the culprit behind it.
Genuine confidence doesn’t need to get angry because there is no part that fears being wrong or that others aren’t believing them. Another reason a person may develop artificial confidence is because they are insecure.
An insecure person may not truly believe in their theory or themselves so they feel if they can convince others that they are absolutely the right one they can at the same time convince themselves.
This is often done in an aggressive manner, because they are attached to the outcome of people believing them. Again, the fear behind not achieving the outcome they desire is causing them to act in a rude or aggressive manner. Genuine confidence can remain quiet, kind and humble because there is no underlying fear that needs other people to believe exactly what they are saying.
Genuine confidence is humble. It kind of realizes that most people are operating from their own level of understanding and trying to convince them that they are “stupid” or “wrong” usually won’t work anyway. The humble part of them realizes that LIVING and BEING their truth is always more effective than incessant talking or convincing ever will be.
Also, humble confidence isn’t attached to being right. In fact, it happily welcomes new ideas and beliefs because it knows that only when it opens itself up to seeing things from all perspectives is it able to perhaps learn something new.
“The time which people spend in convincing others, even half of this time if they spend on themselves, they can achieve a lot in life.”
In order to maintain humble confidence about our beliefs we must do two things. One is question ourselves….constantly. You may ask yourself, “Do I know absolutely without a doubt that this belief is true?” Meaning, “Did I see it with my own eyes”- normally the answer to this will be no.
So not to say that you won’t have some beliefs about things that involve situations that you weren’t physically there, but it just means that you always maintain a healthy sense of doubt about your beliefs.
This doesn’t mean that you’re unsure of yourself, it means you are wise, because it means you are open to hearing new evidence. Or you can ask yourself, “Is it possible that I am so attached to this belief that it has become a part of who I think I am?” Or even, “Does it matter if the person I am telling about my belief believes me or not? In this present moment does the fact that they are convinced or not convinced change anything in this exact moment in time?”
“Confidence is silent.
Insecurity is loud.”
You may find that most of the time, the answer to that is “no.” The other thing a person can do in order to remain humbly confident in their beliefs is to realize that every person they come in contact with can only understand things from their own level of understanding. Which means they are only operating from their own personal programming which may or may not be completely different than yours.
So yes, there may be times when you tell someone something and you enlighten them to something that they hadn’t thought of before but there will also be times where any effort to convince will fall on deaf ears.
When you are unattached to the outcome, you will be fine with either without getting frustrated or angered. Once we realize that our “truth” may not be someone else’s “truth” we can completely relax into interpersonal relationships and take every interaction with a human being as a potential learning experience, which will allow us to always be learning and growing as a person.
“If you have conclusions about everything, there is no possibility, no receptivity. If you have conclusions, you do not have to be attentive — you can go through life like you are dead. The more conclusions you have, the more rigor mortis there is in your mind and in your body as well.”
There is a certain geometry to the physical existence and to the energy existence. Everything in the universe, from the atomic to the cosmic, works the way it does because of geometric perfection. One of the most fundamental and the most stable forms in geometry is a triangle. In the human energy system, there are two equilateral triangles — an upward-pointing one below, and a downward-pointing one above. Normally, these two triangles meet just above the anahata. To work with your mind and imagination, it is important to adjust the alignment of the two triangles at least to some extent. The ideal alignment would be that the upward-pointing and the downward-pointing triangles intersect to such an extent that they form a perfect six-pointed star with six equilateral triangles on the outside.
With the necessary alignment, you will be able to exercise your imagination in such a way that you can manifest what you want outside of you. To enhance the power of your imagination, you need to lift the upward-pointing triangle, which in terms of the geometry of the body is the foundation, to such an extent that it includes the vishuddhi, which is the basis of your imagination. There is sadhana to move it up and hold it there, all the time. If you do not have such sadhana, a simple way to achieve this is not to eat for a period of time. Generally, when the stomach is empty, the upward-pointing triangle tends to rise by itself. Once you eat, it descends again.
There are one hundred and fourteen chakras in the body. The seventy-two thousand nadis, or energy pathways in the system, have one hundred and fourteen significant junction points, where the nadis meet in substantial numbers and redistribute themselves. These points are generally known as chakras, which literally means “wheel” or “circle,” though they are actually triangles. We call them “chakras” because that suggests movement — moving forward. Out of these hundred and fourteen, two are outside of the physical realm. For most human beings, these two are very feeble, unless they put in the necessary sadhana. Out of the remaining one hundred and twelve chakras, a few are generally located in certain parts of the body, on a physiological level. The rest of the chakras could be moving to some extent.
The way the chakras move depends on what you do with yourself. If you want to empower yourself to do different types of activities and to adjust to different type of situations, the pranic physiology or the chakra physiology of the body needs to be able to adjust accordingly. Doing the necessary work to keep the chakras mobile is important because the mobility of the chakras determines how flexible and effective you are in different types of situations, in order to meet different types of requirements. The problem with most human beings is in one situation, they function well. In another situation, they are a total mess. This is because they can only think, feel and act in a particular way.
You should be able to do everything well, with a little practice. But this will not work if your energy system is rigid. So, keeping your system mobile is important, not just because we want to do different kinds of activities in the world. It also gives you a certain flexibility of experience, that you are comfortable in any kind of situation. To be at ease, your energies must be flexible. These hundred and twelve chakras can be used as hundred and twelve doorways to your ultimate nature. That is why Adiyogi gave one hundred and twelve ways to attain to the ultimate.
To be able to move this complex triangular structure of your physiology the way you want it requires a different level of sadhana. But the most fundamental thing is that these two triangles should intersect. Normally, the upward-pointing triangle is below and the downward-pointing triangle is above. If you bring the two equilateral triangles to a point where they intersect in such a way that they form a star with six equilateral triangles, the system is in balance and becomes very receptive. My work is about presence and transmitting something, for which you need receptivity. My words are not going to enlighten you. I only say things to confuse you, because you cannot enlighten anyone by talking. It is the presence that has the power to transform.
Talking is a good tool only to destroy the idiotic conclusions that people have made. When conclusions are destroyed, confusion happens. Being joyfully confused about everything in the universe is a good state to be in. This means you are constantly paying attention to everything. Once you realize that you do not know a thing, you become receptive. If you have conclusions about everything, there is no possibility, no receptivity. If you have conclusions, you do not have to be attentive — you can go through life like you are dead. The more conclusions you have, the more rigor mortis there is in your mind and in your body as well.
“Being joyfully confused about everything in the universe is a good state to be in. This means you are constantly paying attention to everything. Once you realize that you do not know a thing, you become receptive.”
If you are doing hatha yoga every day, you will notice that on a day when your attitude is kind of rigid, your body will not bend. On another day, when you are happy and mentally flexible, your body will bend much better. The nature of your consciousness is manifesting in every cell of your body, every moment of your life. That is why there are many kinds of self-inflicted diseases in the world today. Never before, human beings had as many food choices as we have today. In earlier times, people ate what was locally available. Today, in spite of so much variety, there is so much illness. In fact, the more choices people have, the sicker they get.
The United States is probably one of the countries with the greatest variety of food choices, but they also spend a huge amount of money on healthcare — three trillion dollars per year. That is a crime against humanity. If those who do not get sufficient nourishment are ill, it is understandable. But if those who are eating well are sick, it means something fundamental is going wrong. We have not understood that every cell in your body was created by the nature of your consciousness. If you do not know how to keep the nature of your consciousness well, you will not know how to keep your system well. Then you will function by accident, which need not be so.
We as human beings do everything that other creatures do too — we eat, sleep, reproduce, and die. One thing that distinguishes us is we are making a lot of fuss about all that, just as an aside. The most important difference about human beings is we can do all these things fully consciously. For example, you can eat fully consciously. Let us say you are hungry. If you were some other creature, you would just pick up whatever suits you and devour it. But as a human being, you are able to wait until mealtime, sit at the table, chant the invocation, and rather than stuffing your face with both hands, eat with your right hand. This is being conscious. If you go by the body alone, you will want to eat immediately. But since you have the necessary intelligence and awareness to hold back the compulsions of the body, you can respond to the situation in a conscious manner. If someone behaves very compulsively, they say he is like an animal. So, this is a journey from compulsiveness to consciousness.
Consciousness gives you the possibility to become free from your tendencies. Even if you have been ruled by all kinds of tendencies until this moment, if you respond fully consciously now, there will be a distance between you and the accumulated tendencies that you have. If you make every aspect of life conscious — not only in action, but also in thought, emotion, and energy — you will be on top of the world.
Watch your words carefully as they carry more power than you realize. Many are becoming aware of the power of thoughts, words and are more discerning in their choices. Yes, it is a choice moment by moment. More immediate results than you realize.
It is via stillness, meditation, concentration, awareness that you become aware of the power of your thoughts; words leading to actions. When one is the observer in the 3rd person and not immersed in the drama of their own making a wiser perspective emerges. Greater understanding with more discernment guides daily choices. The inner reflects the outer and more discretionary decisions are made.
One can still be very present, live in the moment; however, the focus of an aware life is more refined like sand which slowly and gently flows through your fingers with little abrasive quality.
Listen to the words of others but more importantly discern your own thoughts and words. Become a detached observer with no judgment or criticism. Allow corrections to your thought patterns and/or actions to be done with gentleness and softness.
Treat yourself with respect. Embrace your imperfections. Allow growth to emerge with constant nurturing and self-love. Focus on your thoughts, your words. Refine your choices.
You are important!
Susan Vivyan; M.A.T. (Art Therapy), B.S. (Art Education); Art Transformative Facilitator/Educator, Writer, Artist. You can find her Soul Essence paintings on Facebook @EssenceArtBySusanVivyan