THE MINDS JOURNAL: “10 Signs You Have A Toxic Partner Who Will Try To Take Away Your Happiness”

One form of love, which is considered the most frequent, is, unfortunately, toxic love. This love appears as a result of insecurity or fear, and it does not do favors to anyone.

Our environment will become even more toxic when we get attached more and more to those people that are wrong for us. Toxic people have the ability to drain us of our happiness, regardless of the fact if we allow that or not. These people build their toxic relationships on an unstable foundation.

Here, we will present you some sign which indicated that you might be in such a relationship, or signs which suggest that you are with a toxic partner. You will definitely need a change when you notice these signs because toxic people and relationships cannot be suitable for every one of us.

10 Signs You Have A Toxic Partner Who Will Try To Take Away Your Happiness

 

1. You are not a priority.

Sorry about this, but when you are not your partner’s priority now, you will never be. He or she has to hold you on the identical standard they hold themselves. Refusing to do that will be a sign that you have to move on, as you deserve a lot more.

2. They’re always blaming you for their mistakes.

The mistakes they made cannot be yours; they have to be prepared for everything they say or do. You should never be blamed for their own mistakes. Toxic people are obsessed with the idea of bringing other people down, especially those that they are closest with.

3. They have serious double principles and standards.

These people believe that they can do everything, while their partners are not allowed to do those same things. For example, you would like to go outside and spend some time together with friends, and in the same time, your partner is also with his friends; however, they will refuse that right when you ask them. Remember that they see you just as their property and not as their loved one.

4. They don’t like your loved ones.

Usually, toxic people will not really like the ones that really matter to you. They will not like that idea as those that care about you will normally see their true self. In fact, toxic people hate this, so they are going to try hard in order to keep you far from your loved ones.

5. They disrespect your boundaries.

Toxic people will never respect your limits, and they are always going to do something or force you into certain things which you wouldn’t like to do. As a result of this, you will find yourself in uncomfortable situations, which are not supposed to happen.

6. They always make you feel sad.

They seem like they try their best in order to bring those that love them down. Toxic people will not support those around them, but they will tear those people apart. For example, when you are happy about something, they are going to everything in order to ruin your happiness. This pleases them after all.

7. They tend to lie to you a lot.

So, for some unknown reasons, toxic people feel good when they lie. So, they are going to lie you about something that is insignificant and goes too far in order to reach their goal, which is making you feel terrible. Remember that you cannot trust someone you love although you would like to do it with your whole heart.

8. They won’t give you a space for yourself.

Toxic people never allow their partners to have their personal space. For example, having your personal space means having time to reflect and think, and thinking well may make you come to the decision of leaving your partner. These people love crossing boundaries, so when you do something without their permission, they will be furious.

9. They attempt to control you.

These people adore controlling you, and not only you but every single thing in life. This type of control means the ultimate superpower for them. Just said, they would like to have the ability to control you and make you do what they want you to do. They are going to cut ties when they see that they are not able to control you.

10. They don’t care about your necessities.

These people are never going to listen to you or care about your own necessities. They are selfish people, so they don’t want to worry about you or about everything you need. They practice only self-care, although you may be in a relationship for a long time.

 

~via TheMindsJournal.com

MYSTICAL JOURNEY: “Be Soft with You”

Be soft with your spirit.  Be gentle with your essence.  BE authentic to your purpose and calling.  Rid yourself from the negative self-talk.  You become everything you say that you are or that you are not.  We are born every day, every minute, every second.  We are here on borrowed time.  Make it lovingly serene with your heart so that you can present your soul lovingly to another.  This struggle is all bullshit at the end of the day.  It doesn’t matter what you did or haven’t done.  This moment, wasted reading this, or contemplating what hasn’t been scratched off your To Do List, is all irrelevant.

Really… this is nonsense.  All the fake-ness of pretending and showing others a different person in order to fit in society.  I want to know YOU… the real you that cries in your car, gets giddy at the first dog you see in the street… the YOU that loves the moon and stars.

There are folks losing their jobs, their homes, and families.  There are others sitting alone in a hospital room watching a loved one fight for their lives.  While some others are in the petty claws of political and religious arguments on social media… life is happening out there.  Life is happening in here.  Life is a series of ongoing movements and motions reminding us that we get to pick the perception and reaction.

I don’t know why bad things happen.  I don’t know why anything happens.  I would like to believe it’s for the evolution of our higher self.  I would like to believe it’s part of a larger design.  Who truly knows at this point?  I have to be led by faith and that onset programming of a higher body of spirit guiding me.

What I do know is that we need one another.  We need a tribe.  We need love.  YES… lots of love and to turn on our hearts to accept and spread it.

We need to know that we aren’t alone in the path of obstacles and challenges.  We need to get out of our own head space and truly feel the vibration of another who is part of the overall conscious mass and start shifting towards changing the negatives to positives.

Hold a friend’s hand in need.  Hug your lover as if it was the last time.  Kiss those kids tightly.  Smile at a stranger.  Open doors for an elderly person.  Compliment a cashier.  Delete the toxic folks out of your life.  If they don’t raise you then they have taught you something.  It’s time to move on.  Use your energy wisely.  Just get out of your freaking head and lovingly give to another who needs to feel that the illusion of loneliness is not drowning their existence.  It matters.  It all matters to that one human who is struggling with life.

Stop the craziness of self doubt and anxiety because there is no way you leave this life alive.  STOP focusing on the lack of anything and start creating by living in joy.  So… live for yourself with honor, love, and compassion.  You don’t own this blue planet alone.  I am here.  You are here.  Let’s be here together in peace and harmony.  Let’s be raised by love and light.  We got this!

~m.a.p.

 

~via MomentsWithMillie.me

MOMENTS WITH MILLIE: “Rise!”

“As you rise many people will disapprove. Rise anyway.”

~Mastin Kipp

 

I want you to read that meme over and over. I remember four years ago when I died in the ER and was returned to this world. I recognized that the moment I woke I was different. As days turned into months and months into years, I had to remove anyone (and anything) that disturbed my sensitivity. I could not be responsible for making the world happy, especially people who sucked the life out of me trying to find happiness. They are responsible for their own journey.

Not everyone will approve.

Not everyone will agree.

People judge from the place of their own perspective and experiences. It’s not for you to try and mold them. Let them judge. Just don’t allow them to break you.

So I stopped…I made it a point of truly disengaging from those whose addictions and toxic energy were hurting me.

I woke to find me. And every day afterwards I’ve had to continue setting boundaries. Some are easy. Others feel like I’m the worst human on earth.

And that’s part of this human thingy. I keep standing in my knowing.

Rise, darling. Keep standing for your truth, awareness, love and your life. Keep rising to all that is to come when you live through your authenticity, when you move through love.

Whether they approve or not…rise and acknowledge YOU!!!

I love YOU! ~m.a.p.

 

~viaMomentsWithMillie.me

NENA: “If Someone In Your Life Possesses These Characteristics It’s Best To Stay Away From Them”

“Whatever the reason narcissists and sociopaths mistreat you and try to convince you that you are the problem, it’s time to end this. Making plans for the future with such person is like trying to walk through a brick wall — impossible and dangerous for your health and wellbeing.”

~NeNa

 

Being in a relationship with a narcissist or a sociopath is difficult on many levels, but one of the most ironic and infuriating things is when they try to convince you that you are the one who is crazy.

You would think how they can use psychology against anyone when they have so many psychological problems? And, why do they do that over and over again?

Before telling you the two possible reasons why narcissists and sociopaths shift the blame on you, here are some of their personality traits explained by Psychology Today.

Personality Traits of Narcissists

—A sense of self-importance (wants and expects to be seen as superior to others regardless of the level of their achievements)

—Preoccupation with success, power, beauty, brilliance

—The belief that they are special and can’t be understood by “common” people

—Interpersonally exploitative

—Lack of empathy

—Arrogance, envy, haughty behavior

Personality Traits of Sociopaths

Sociopaths possess some of the characteristics of narcissists, plus the following:

—Deceitful

—Inability to conform to social norms

—Impulsive

—Aggressive

—Irresponsible

—Lack of remorse and financial commitments

—Disregard for the safety of those around you

So, if you have someone in your life that possesses these characteristics, it’s best to stay away from them. And, if that person happens to be your partner, well you are in a toxic relationship.

These kinds of people will do everything until you believe you are the problem and them. You may tirelessly look for the “wrong” part of your character, but the truth is, you’ll never find it.

So, the question is, why do they do that?

Reason #1 — Their Superiority Complex

Narcissists have a superiority complex which makes them believe they are faultless. They can’t accept that they have done something wrong so somehow they always find a way to make you responsible.

That’s because they are manipulators just like sociopaths are. They will make you believe it’s your fault and not theirs. Even if you don’t accept the blame, you’ll find yourself analyzing the situation over and over to see if you did or said something wrong.

Even though no one is perfect, the very fact that you are worrying if you are the sociopath or narcissist in the relationship makes you aware of the problem – something that no sociopath or narcissist does.

Reason #2 —Transferring Their Issues on You

That’s why they often include their psychosis too. They see you as the one who’s dishonest, manipulative, and with lack of empathy and describe you as such in front of others.

But, you can’t change someone’s perception of you, so don’t even try to fight against it. Instead, let go and move on.

Final Words

Whatever the reason narcissists and sociopaths mistreat you and try to convince you that you are the problem, it’s time to end this. Making plans for the future with such person is like trying to walk through a brick wall — impossible and dangerous for your health and wellbeing.

Being stuck in a relationship with a narcissist or sociopath can cause huge emotional damage. That’s why it’s crucial that you leave that person as soon as possible.

Leave them without a chance to persuade you to stay because they will succeed thanks to their manipulative skills. And, once you leave them, stop communicating with them. Don’t answer their calls and block their social media profile.

Otherwise, they will try to trick you into believing them. If you have kids together, consult a qualified therapist to work out a “parenting plan.”

 

 

~via GottaDoTheRightThing.com

DR. TRAVIS BRADBERRY: “10 Toxic People You Should Avoid At All Costs”

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Toxic people defy logic. Some are blissfully unaware of the negative impact that they have on those around them, and others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people’s buttons.

As important as it is to learn how to deal with different kinds of people, truly toxic people will never be worth your time and energy—and they take a lot of each. Toxic people create unnecessary complexity, strife, and, worst of all, stress.

“People inspire you, or they drain you—pick them wisely.”

Hans F. Hanse

Recent research from Friedrich Schiller University in Germany shows just how serious toxic people are. They found that exposure to stimuli that cause strong negative emotions—the same kind of exposure you get when dealing with toxic people—caused subjects’ brains to have a massive stress response. Whether it’s negativity, cruelty, the victim syndrome, or just plain craziness, toxic people drive your brain into a stressed-out state that should be avoided at all costs.

Studies have long shown that stress can have a lasting, negative impact on the brain. Exposure to even a few days of stress compromises the effectiveness of neurons in the hippocampus, an important brain area responsible for reasoning and memory. Weeks of stress cause reversible damage to brain cells, and months of stress can permanently destroy them. Toxic people don’t just make you miserable—they’re really hard on your brain.

The ability to manage your emotions and remain calm under pressure has a direct link to your performance. TalentSmart has conducted research with more than a million people, and we’ve found that 90% of top performers are skilled at managing their emotions in times of stress in order to remain calm and in control. One of their greatest gifts is the ability to identify toxic people and keep them at bay.

It’s often said that you’re the product of the five people you spend the most time with. If you allow even one of those five people to be toxic, you’ll soon find out how capable he or she is of holding you back.

You can’t hope to distance yourself from toxic people until you first know who they are. The trick is to separate those who are annoying or simply difficult from those who are truly toxic. What follows are ten types of toxic drainers that you should stay away from at all costs so that you don’t become one yourself.

1. The Gossip

“Great minds discuss ideas, average ones discuss events, and small minds discuss people.”

–Eleanor Roosevelt

Gossipers derive pleasure from other people’s misfortunes. It might be fun to peer into somebody else’s personal or professional faux pas at first, but over time, it gets tiring, makes you feel gross, and hurts other people. There are too many positives out there and too much to learn from interesting people to waste your time talking about the misfortune of others.

2. The Temperamental

Some people have absolutely no control over their emotions. They will lash out at you and project their feelings onto you, all the while thinking that you’re the one causing their malaise. Temperamental people are tough to dump from your life because their lack of control over their emotions makes you feel bad for them. When push comes to shove though, temperamental people will use you as their emotional toilet and should be avoided at all costs.

3. The Victim

Victims are tough to identify because you initially empathize with their problems. But as time passes, you begin to realize that their “time of need” is all the time. Victims actively push away any personal responsibility by making every speed bump they encounter into an uncrossable mountain. They don’t see tough times as opportunities to learn and grow from; instead, they see them as an out. There’s an old saying: “Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional.” It perfectly captures the toxicity of the victim, who chooses to suffer every time.

4. The Self-Absorbed

Self-absorbed people bring you down through the impassionate distance they maintain from other people. You can usually tell when you’re hanging around self-absorbed people because you start to feel completely alone. This happens because as far as they’re concerned, there’s no point in having a real connection between them and anyone else. You’re merely a tool used to build their self-esteem.

5. The Envious

To envious people, the grass is always greener somewhere else. Even when something great happens to envious people, they don’t derive any satisfaction from it. This is because they measure their fortune against the world’s when they should be deriving their satisfaction from within. And let’s face it, there’s always someone out there who’s doing better if you look hard enough. Spending too much time around envious people is dangerous because they teach you to trivialize your own accomplishments.

 6. The Manipulator

Manipulators suck time and energy out of your life under the façade of friendship. They can be tricky to deal with because they treat you like a friend. They know what you like, what makes you happy, and what you think is funny, but the difference is that they use this information as part of a hidden agenda. Manipulators always want something from you, and if you look back on your relationships with them, it’s all take, take, take, with little or no giving. They’ll do anything to win you over just so they can work you over.

7. The Dementor

In J. K. Rowling’s “Harry Potter” series, Dementors are evil creatures that suck people’s souls out of their bodies, leaving them merely as shells of humans. Whenever a Dementor enters the room, it goes dark, people get cold, and they begin to recall their worst memories. Rowling said that she developed the concept for Dementors based on highly negative people—the kind of people who have the ability to walk into a room and instantly suck the life out of it.

Dementors suck the life out of the room by imposing their negativity and pessimism upon everyone they encounter. Their viewpoints are always glass half empty, and they can inject fear and concern into even the most benign situations. A Notre Dame University study found that students assigned to roommates who thought negatively were far more likely to develop negative thinking and even depression themselves.

8. The Twisted

There are certain toxic people who have bad intentions, deriving deep satisfaction from the pain and misery of others. They are either out to hurt you, to make you feel bad, or to get something from you; otherwise, they have no interest in you. The only good thing about this type is that you can spot their intentions quickly, which makes it that much faster to get them out of your life.

9. The Judgmental

Judgmental people are quick to tell you exactly what is and isn’t cool. They have a way of taking the thing you’re most passionate about and making you feel terrible about it. Instead of appreciating and learning from people who are different from them, judgmental people look down on others. Judgmental people stifle your desire to be a passionate, expressive person, so you’re best off cutting them out and being yourself.

10. The Arrogant

Arrogant people are a waste of your time because they see everything you do as a personal challenge. Arrogance is false confidence, and it always masks major insecurities. A University of Akron study found that arrogance is correlated with a slew of problems in the workplace. Arrogant people tend to be lower performers, more disagreeable, and have more cognitive problems than the average person.

How to Protect Yourself Once You Spot ’Em

Toxic people drive you crazy because their behavior is so irrational. Make no mistake about it—their behavior truly goes against reason, so why do you allow yourself to respond to them emotionally and get sucked into the mix?

The more irrational and off-base someone is, the easier it should be for you to remove yourself from their traps. Quit trying to beat them at their own game. Distance yourself from them emotionally, and approach your interactions with them like they’re a science project (or you’re their shrink if you prefer that analogy). You don’t need to respond to the emotional chaos—only the facts.

Maintaining an emotional distance requires awareness. You can’t stop someone from pushing your buttons if you don’t recognize when it’s happening. Sometimes you’ll find yourself in situations where you’ll need to regroup and choose the best way forward. This is fine, and you shouldn’t be afraid to buy yourself some time to do so.

Most people feel as though because they work or live with someone, they have no way to control the chaos. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Once you’ve identified a toxic person, you’ll begin to find their behavior more predictable and easier to understand. This will equip you to think rationally about when and where you have to put up with them and when and where you don’t. You can establish boundaries, but you’ll have to do so consciously and proactively. If you let things happen naturally, you’re bound to find yourself constantly embroiled in difficult conversations. If you set boundaries and decide when and where you’ll engage a difficult person, you can control much of the chaos. The only trick is to stick to your guns and keep boundaries in place when the person tries to cross them, which they will.

 

 

 

 

 

~via TalentSmart.com