For being such a natural act, there are a lot of negative connotations associated with crying. As children, our parents fuss at us for crying. Women are called overly emotional, fragile, and that they are making a big deal over nothing. Men, well, they get a raw deal all around and have it pounded heavily into their minds that crying is a sign of weakness, vulnerability, and that ‘real men’ don’t cry.
So, science and our common sense tells us that all that aforementioned societal programming is total BS, and that crying is not only healthy, but that it is a vital component of physical and emotional health. Take that Mom and Dad! While crying may not directly save the world, it certainly has the potential to preserve our personal wellbeing, foster positive relationships, and it could even save lives — and one of those lives just might save the world some day!
Get out your tissues, forget about programmed concepts like ego and pride, and let’s explore the Zen of crying…
1. Crying Frees You of Control
I’ve read a few studies purporting that the need to have more control is correlated to the incidence of more men ‘losing their minds’ and also why their life span is 5 years shorter, which I find kind of hard to believe. Because if you live in the same world I do, you know darn well that today’s women have just as much tendency to be controlling as men — if not more so — under their own ego’s need to crash through the glass ceiling, and have their ‘roar’ heard.
What does this have to do with crying? If crying isn’t the norm for you, just letting the act occur is freeing yourself of control — at least temporarily. Crying aids in letting go of the ego as it frees pent up emotions that may be subconsciously feeding your need to be in control at all. Repression sources discomforts and fears that drive control issues, and a few tears could very well begin a metamorphosis that helps one regain alignment with free will choices. How in alignment are you? Click the previous link for a fun assessment quiz.
2. Bottom Out Stress with a Few Tears
Without a doubt, stress kills and can be a major player in our lives when we allow its presence to overcome the senses. However, the Zen of crying, is that it works hand in hand with number 1 — it relieves stress — stress that is often (okay, mostly) sourced by one’s need for control whether it concerns work, home, relationships, a car accident, or what to cook for dinner. If a few tears can reduce my chances for a stress-related death, I say bring ‘em on!
3. Crying Enhances Connections
Certainly, if you open the faucet in front of someone with programmed beliefs that crying is for pussies and pansies, well, it may not strengthen that bond. However, if you crying in front of — better yet WITH — someone who’s compassionate and supportive, it can be a powerful experience. Crying alone can also create a stronger bond with your own SELF, as your mind is totally in the NOW moment — disconnected with programs — giving you the opportunity to tap into the true essence of your spiritual being.
4. Grab a Handkerchief… and Move On
In a bad relationship? Tired of your peers or boss making you feel like crap? Did you best friend let you down? Maybe you received some hard to handle news… whatever it may be… the Zen of crying can assist. Remember, everything in our perception of reality is transient and it is constantly changing, so learning to cope is essential. As you cry, try to acknowledge each tear, each of those deep, noisy breaths, and allow each sound free you one by one of the anguish you feel over the hurt. As they purge from you, a sense of calm and peace follows. Take those moments of being in the present moment to recognize that you are now free — and make a conscious choice to let go.
5. Profound Moments of Clarity
Maybe it’s only me, but I have finished many a good cry and had to most prolific “AHA” moments of my life. Through tears of joy, pain, and even those ‘I have no idea why in the hell I’m crying moments’ some end with great clarity. Whatever the situation that brought me to tears may be, I am left with a sense of purpose, with solutions, or with insights as to WHY I am having that particular experience.
Maybe it’s not only me… but I confess to being quite the cry baby that Janis Joplin once screamed for, and I am grateful! I will cry just about any time the need overwhelms me, anywhere, and in front of most anyone… Sometimes it makes connections stronger, sometimes it scares people. Sometimes people still call me overly emotional and try to take away my power by demeaning me, but I do know this… crying seems to raise vibrational frequencies and I ALWAYS FEEL BETTER AFTER A GOOD CRY!
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