MATEO SOL: “12 Signs You’ve Lost Your Authenticity and Are ‘Selling Out'”

Authenticity is a big buzzword these days.

“Be more authentic,” “honor your authenticity,” “find your authentic self” — we hear these phrases scattered all over the internet and spoken about everywhere.

But what does being authentic mean? And most importantly, how can we tell when we’re being inauthentic — also known as “selling out”?

What is Authenticity?

Authenticity is the state of simply being yourself, listening to who you really are, and making decisions that align with your beliefs and values. Authenticity at its core is about deeply accepting all that is ‘you’ and honoring it above ALL else.

What is Inauthenticity (i.e. Selling Out)?

Inauthenticity, on the other hand, is about placing external things above your genuine values, needs, dreams, and artistic vision. When we ‘sell ourselves out’ we are essentially placing all of the most important parts of ourselves up for auction. Instead of making decisions based on our genuine beliefs, values, and personal style, we make decisions based on how much money, attention, fame, or acceptance we will gain from other people.

Examples of Authenticity vs. Inauthenticity

Sometimes reading examples helps to flesh out abstract concepts like authenticity. Here are a few examples taken from real life:

An artist has been contacted by a large publishing agency. They would like to mass produce her art but on the one condition that she change the titles and descriptions. Deep down, the artist knows that the titles and descriptions of her art are intrinsic to her work. She refuses the publishing agencies offer. She has made an authentic choice.

A father sees how gifted at writing his teenage son is. But instead of encouraging his son to pursue a career in writing, the father pressures his son to study business and accounting because it is the “safe” choice. The son then dutifully studies business and accounting in university. Both father and son have made inauthentic decisions.

A life coach who specializes in online mentoring wants to grow her business. In order to get more clients, she focuses solely on what is trendy and popular and writes/talks about those topics. She begins to lose touch with her original vision. She has become inauthentic.

A company is pressured by investors and shareholders to change its philosophy in order to be more “hip,” appeal to the new generation and make more profit. The company refuses to compromise their philosophy. They have made an authentic decision.

12 Signs You’ve Lost Your Authenticity and Are Selling Out

We are not perfect people. Perfection is an illusion. Therefore, it is guaranteed that at some point in your life, you will make an inauthentic decision that compromises your values, vision, or beliefs. It’s just part of being human!

Although we can’t be perfect, we can strive to be more conscious. Self-awareness and honesty are the two key qualities we need to prevent ourselves from slipping into bad choices.

If you’re concerned that you might be “selling out,” read the signs below. They will help to either confirm or challenge your feelings:

  • Your top priority is making bucket loads of money

  • You’re obsessed with getting new followers, fans or subscribers (e.g. on social media)

  • You let others make decisions for you

  • You let others dictate who you are + who you ‘should’ be

  • You follow the crowd and do what everyone else is doing

  • You always follow trends even if they don’t make sense to you

  • You reveal only what makes you look good

  • You copy other people and their style/lifestyle

  • You ignore your gut feelings and intuition

  • You wear a mask around others
    You’re scared to be vulnerable and express your true feelings, thoughts, or values (which may be unpopular)

  • You make decisions based on how much attention, fame, money or acceptance you’ll receive rather than your genuine beliefs, values, or vision

Take a few thoughtful moments to make a serious assessment of the list above. Evaluate each point with an honest heart.

How many can you relate to?

How to Stop Selling Out

 

“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.”

~B. Brown

 

I want to make a clear distinction here. There is a difference between selling yourself and selling out.

Selling yourself, in business and career fields, is about highlighting your genuine strengths and gifts, and offering those to the world. Selling out, on the other hand, is about compromising your personal integrity and letting external things drive you instead of internal qualities.

Also, not everyone has the liberty of making authentic decisions — but I want to emphasize that these situations are literally survival situations. For example, if a small business owner from an impoverished country was approached by a wealthy businessman who wanted to invest in and change his company, do you think it would be smart to decline? In certain environments and situations, making choices that go against our creative vision is essential in order to survive. But if you’re blessed to live in more fortunate circumstances where you’re not literally faced with starvation or anything else equally serious, then making authentic decisions is an intelligent way to live life.

Why is being authentic intelligent? Because you are listening to your heart and nurturing your soul. Money, fame, adoration, and approval from others will quench your ego’s need for safety and control — but that only lasts for so long. Soon, you will be left with a big, empty, gaping hole inside. The true joy, inner peace, and fulfillment come when you are living your truth and putting your essence out into the world.

So how do you let your essence — your passions, perspectives, and values — guide you? Here are some ideas; many of which I have discovered across my own authenticity journey:

1. Pay attention to how the decisions you make feel physically. Do you feel uncomfortable, heavy or dark sensations? Or does your body feel light and energized? Unlike the mind, the body cannot lie. Your body is the best lie detector out there. If you are about to make a decision that does not align with your values, your body will immediately feel and express that. Pay attention to warning signs such as heaviness in the heart area, tensed muscles, lightheadedness, cold shivers, and even physical cringing. Your physical warning signs will be unique to you (and can’t all be listed here), so search for them diligently.

2. Get your priorities straight. At the end of the day, what will TRULY fulfill you? Think about this question very carefully. Will you ultimately be happy with truckloads of followers, clients, money, or a lavish lifestyle, without feeling like you’ve stayed true to yourself? Money is important, don’t get me wrong. But how much money do you actually need in order to be happy and feel fulfilled? You might also like to explore what your main driving forces are: are you driven by power, success, fame, wealth or your individual and unique style, talents, passions, visions, and desires to make an impact? Focus on nailing down your main motivating force and ask yourself, “Is this healthy? Is this aligned with who I truly am?”

3. Explore inauthentic areas in your life. Intentionally carve out time and space to assess your life – that might even mean just sitting here as you’re reading this article and doing a bit of quiet reflecting. Think about areas in your life that you’re unhappy with. Have you lost your authentic voice in that area … or is the issue something else altogether? This process takes honesty. Write down every choice, commitment, and behavior that feels out of alignment with your deepest passions, perspectives, and values.

4. Make the hard choices. Once you’ve identified the inauthentic areas of your life, it’s time to act. You will need to carve out a plan — possibly multiple plans — to regain a sense of personal integrity. Ask yourself questions such as, “What must absolutely go and what can stay?” “What is true to me and what is false?” “What options do I have?” “What is the potential loss and gain in this situation?” “What is the best scenario and worst scenario?” “What is my plan A and plan B?” “What am I clinging to for dear life?” Use a tool like journaling to help you get out your thoughts, feelings, and plans in a coherent, organized, and structured way.

5. Integrate the experience with self-compassion. Once you have made the necessary change, it’s time for reflection. How did it feel to make such big (or small) changes? What parts of you felt threatened? What did you find it easy to let go of and difficult to surrender? How does it feel to walk your own genuine path? How can you avoid making inauthentic decisions in the future? These are all the kind of vital questions you’ll benefit from asking and exploring. Most importantly, integration is about accepting our humanness and all the frailty that comes along with it. Embrace your mistakes, forgive yourself, and let your hard-earned lessons make you stronger and wiser.

In this loud, confusing, and overwhelming world, it can be easy to slip into the role of selling out your integrity and authenticity to gain power, fame, or money. We are bombarded with messages from the media, social media, our colleagues, and even our friends and family members to be anything other than what we are. But in order to live fulfilled and soul-driven lives, we need to put a firm foot down. We need to learn when to say “no” and forcefully draw the line and protect our integrity.

I hope this article has inspired you to preserve your artistic vision, inner values, or deeply held passions. What makes life beautiful is how unique and varied it is. I hope you share your own unique flavor of authenticity with the world!

What is your experience with selling out? Do you have any tips to share surrounding integrity and authenticity?

Finally, I’ll leave you with a final quote. Tell me in the comments, do you agree or disagree with this statement below?

“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.”

~Andre Gide

 

~via WakeUp-World.com

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ELVA THOMPSON: “The Awakening of the Spirit and the Journey to Authenticity”

We live in the Information Age — a fast digital reality of gloss and glitter — a stage show with plot and purpose specifically designed to keep us in a constant state of physical stimulation — lots of things are on offer in this electrical paradigm from toothpicks to silicone sex dolls and everything imaginable in between.

The wrong direction

Locked up in our cities of concrete and glass we have become fast ‘everything’ junkies living our lives through facebook, twitter, phones and ipads. We have traded the natural world for a digital copy and given our minds away to computerized numbers and codes.

If we wish to go into the future with any vestiges of humanity left… we’d better wake up to our Spiritual Self. Wake up to our multi-dimensional heritage and take back our minds from the imposter that rules our lives… the voice in our heads that whines and undermines.

Species in crisis

Estranged from nature, programmed by fear based religions and hijacked by technology, mankind and his planet have reached a tipping point. We are a species in a spiritual crisis. We can either stagnate with the hive mind — become a chipped matrix clone — or turn inward and explore spiritual reality.

In a Duality there are two kinds of awakening: Physical and Spiritual.

Physical awakening takes place when we realise we’ve been duped by the guys that run the stage-show — the educational, legal and political systems are all about controlling our minds, using our energy and taking our money — and the financial markets are just one gigantic ponzi scheme… and we are not invited to share in the profits.

Friendships go down the drain

Most of the time our new revelations of fact and fiction don’t sit well with our family and friends… and the hive mind is quick to react with denial and anger when its belief system is undermined or challenged. Years of friendship can quickly go down the drain into the gutter of the past, marriages break up and families get divided. But it is what it is, and when you know the truth about our world, there’s no turning back the page or pressing the mental delete button.

Awake is here to stay in a world of sleepwalkers, and even some of those people who have woken up to the physical lie are still spiritually asleep.

The Awakening of the Spirit

Spiritual awakening is far more complex that physical awakening because it deals with the unknown, unseen side of our nature. And, like all cultures, we get the inherited spiritual thought forms and fairy stories programmed into our consciousness: ghosts and monsters, witches and ghouls and things that go bump in the night. And, to top it all off, we get the religious programming of devils, demons and lakes of fiery brimstone to frighten us into mental submission.

A priest on our reservation asked one of the Lakota elders if he knew about the devil. The old boy replied. “You tell me. You brought him over.”

In all of ‘old time’ faerie stories there is a dark understanding of what awaits beyond the veil and in this climate of confusion and hate, we need to proceed on our journey into spiritual reality with caution.

Discernment in the search for meaningful connection

Waking up takes time, and in our eagerness and longing for a deeper, more meaningful connection with the spiritual side of our life, we are vulnerable to predators both physical and energetic. The internet is a cess pool full of dark magic and agendas… and most of the smooth glitzy sites pushing all things spiritual are traps for the unwary. We have to be on our guard and not give our minds away to some charismatic dude in his digital cloud castle who doesn’t practice what he preaches.

Did we make a quantum jump without knowing

We have all kinds of folk in our lives — family and friends, people we work with, our mates down the pub… and there comes a time when we suddenly realise how shallow and superficial their lives are… and how shallow and opinionated our lives were before we woke up.

Where we used to be in with the in crowd, we now find we have little in common with their status quo thinking. We become withdrawn… locked up in our minds with no one to talk to about the ‘stuff’ going on in our heads. This can lead to depression and despair… we wonder what is happening and may even doubt our sanity.

…But what has actually happened is our awareness has shifted — expanded… and the people around us have stayed in the same place of standing still.

It’s almost like we have taken a quantum jump without knowing it.

Are we standing quietly in the new life?

The experiences we have in life make us who we are and as rough as it can be… every dark cloud has a silver lining. Our dogma and conditioning fall away when we throw ourselves into life and live it… in all its darkness and light — its joy and sorrows — its ugliness and beauty…

Reflect and grow

Making mistakes in this world is all part of the learning process — a chain of events — cause and effect that has brought us by whatever road to the point of awakening Now… so cosmically it would seem there are no mistakes and our destiny awaits… however we try to avoid it.

The Journey to Authenticity

The journey into the world of the spirit is a voyage into authenticity — into a knowing born of experience and not some second-hand news. But spiritual reality doesn’t happen to us — we have to happen to it. We have to want it… not in some half-hearted manner but with all of our being. And, if we are going to catch the beyond visible light bus that’s going to take us out of here — we’d better be ready to board.

Until next time….

 

About the Author

Elva Thompson was born in England in 1947 and moved to Rosebud Lakota reservation in 1987. She is the author of the Heartstar Series; Book One: The Key made of Air, and Book Two: The Gates to Pandemonia. Her other interests include organic gardening, ancient phonetic languages, sonic sound and their application in the healing arts. She is also a medical intuitive and teaches sonic re-patterning using sound, colour, and essential oils. Elva Thompson is on Amazon Author Central @ amazon.com/author/heartstar

 

~via WakingTimes.com