LISA RENEE (Energetic Synthesis): “Personal Accountability”

 

“Are you accountable for your actions even if nobody holds you accountable — or nobody catches you?  Of course you are.  If you do not think so then you are cheating on yourself.  You are the person who will ultimately suffer the consequence of your actions.  Even if you cannot visibly see the consequence of your action today, there is always a consequence that will show up either now or later on.”   ~Lisa Renee

 

All human beings are responsible for their thoughts, deeds, actions and behaviors, all of these are direct choices made by each person in the moment that will have direct Energetic Consequences. Whatever quality of energies we prepare our body to be resonant with or hold as spiritual conduit, whether it is positive forces or negative forces, is what we allow ourselves to have consent with. Whatever kind of force we are in consent with (whether we know this or not), is the Frequency that our body and Consciousness is subjected to in Universal Law. The quality of spiritual force will have corresponding dimensional laws which govern the actions of that quality of that spirit. Negative forces are in the lower dimensions and create servitude and bondage to time, while positive forces of the Spirits of Christ are in the highest dimensions and create sovereignty and freedom for the Soul and spirit.

Universal Laws contain the principle of Accountability that has the purpose to restore energetic balance through ones personal thoughts, deeds, actions and behaviors throughout that beings lifetime and spiritual evolution cycle. All energetic repercussions to the Soul and Spirit is accounted for and those actions are made responsible to the appropriate parties at the end of the Ascension Cycle. Practicing Accountability is a direct part of Spiritual Ascension. As we increase our ability to be responsible, we increasingly develop our spirituality and the way we perceive human values that evolve ourselves out of existing in the lower energy dimensions. Being accountable to our behavior and choosing more evolved higher ethical behaviors, is how we stop the cycle of Attachments, servitude and bondage to lower spirits and their lower nature.

Leadership or Stewardship Roles

I AM Accountable towards Others and Speak my Truth Harmlessly.

In leadership roles, accountability is the acknowledgment and assumption of personal responsibility for one’s actions, products, decisions, and policies including the administration, governance, and implementation within the scope of the role or the position of influence and power made over others. Accountability encompasses the ethical conduct necessary to model integrity through being answerable towards the resulting consequences of one’s choices and actions, especially in regard to the impact made upon others, or impact made to a group, organization or impact to planetary resources. Accountability cannot exist without the proper ethical model to understand that being responsible for one’s actions, thoughts and deeds, has consequences that are a result of the decisions that are made. In other words, an absence of accounting for decisions and choices that are being made means, there is an absence of accountability. Without accountability, there can be no integrity nor trustworthiness present. This is also an accurate statement when determining the quality that one will experience in their personal life, family dynamics, career and in every social interaction and communication they engage in. This principle is required in both the macrocosm and the microcosm relationships of our life. The importance of committing to personal accountability as a developed character trait and skillset in order to improve one’s life conditions in every possible way, cannot be underestimated.

Have we lost the trait of being accountable? What would someone say about your accountability? Has it become so commonplace to exaggerate everything we say?

Accountability is an ethical model and character standard that expresses you, and only you, are totally responsible for your actions. The willingness to be accountable for what you do and what you don’t do (or refuse to do) is a significant trait of your moral character.

Many people confuse responsibility and accountability as being one in same. In the practical reality, they are character traits that are more like two sides of the same coin. Being accountable has more to do with giving up certain ego defense behaviors, such as negative beliefs and attitudes, than just making an effort to behave or relate to others in a different way. One of the most common ego defense mechanisms used to avoid personal accountability or responsibility is to become upset, blaming others or to have an emotional tantrum. When a person goes into tantrum mode or gets upset because they have been triggered, obviously, they can no longer effectively handle the matter. They have gone “unconscious”. When a person goes unconscious and engages in tantrums whenever they are emotionally triggered, they are now fodder for dark and negative energies to harvest negative emotional energy and increase the negative charge.

This is a common ego defense to avoid facing the truth of the matter or the task at hand in order to avoid any attention being placed upon the person’s accountability to their own actions. It’s a diversion tactic that is made by the unconscious impulses of a person, or they deliberately choose to have a tantrum in order to change the focus of the discussion.  

This is done by simply tuning someone out, lashing back insults in an attack mode, or by having a mental conversation while someone is attempting to point out how they could have assumed greater responsibility or accountability. Some of us may be reminded of occurrences such as these with our significant relationships, partners or spouse. Yet another ego defense is playing the role of victim-victimizer in order to escape or detract from personal accountability. When people are unwilling to look at something or be accountable for their actions they will commonly say expressions in the victim-unconscious roles such as  “I can’t” and “I’m unable.” If they are master manipulators they will usually use doublespeak to confuse the truth in the issue and turn around the responsibility to be handed to the weaker person or less dominating party. Sometimes, being personally accountable to one’s actions and the willingness to tell the truth, simply involves courage.

Do you have the necessary courage to exhibit personal accountability? One may want to examine the consequences associated with being accountable and responsible before answering. First, accountability means you are responsible to somebody or for something. Second, being responsible means that you cause something to happen. Third, by exhibiting accountability, as seen through the eyes of the people around you, may look like the following:

  • Accepting complete responsibility for your behavior.
  • Meeting/exceeding agreed upon expectations in an agreed upon role or position.
  • Admitting mistakes and taking steps to correct them.
  • Admitting limitations of knowledge or skills in certain areas.

Accepting responsibility is being fully aware of exerting control of one’s behavior through one’s choices. Additionally, one accepts the consequences of the choices one makes while taking responsibility for what may be perceived as positive or negative experiences that come with those choices.

Integrity, or doing what is right, because that is the right thing to do, is the epitome of accepting responsibility. We all have much to gain by exhibiting personal accountability in our personal and professional life. Some of these are listed below:

  • You become a person that can be trusted.
  • You are respected by people around you. Your words or actions hold credibility.
  • You demonstrate trustworthy behaviors within interactions made between the group/team/organization that you are connected.
  • You are a person with strong moral and ethical character.
  • You can be trusted to complete challenging projects and meaningful assignments.
  • What kind of person do you want to be?

Personal freedom begins and ends with responsibility and accountability. Personal accountability is an opportunity. It is an opportunity to contribute to the world, contribute to the human race and the organization of which we are a part. It is the opportunity to be counted as trustworthy among the other people inside our organization and for whom we truly hold caring respect. It is our opportunity to ask, “What can I do to contribute?” and “How can I make a difference?“. If our spiritual and other organizations foster an environment that values integrity, trustworthiness, honesty and courage, personal accountability truly presents all of us with a vast opportunity to grow while serving others.

Below are a few exercises that we can work on:

Tell the truth. Many times we may make the mistake to believe that saying a “little white lie” is better than to risk hurting feelings or dealing with someone else’s judgment of our behavior. Maybe we are in fear and afraid to face the consequences. When we engage in lying about something or we try to cover it up, this deceitful action will always boomerang and make the situation much worse. When deceit is used to manipulate or cover up, it snowballs into a larger problem and sucks time and energy. Save yourself some time and protect your energies by telling the truth.

Monitor yourself. Are you accountable for your actions even if nobody holds you accountable — or nobody catches you? Of course you are. If you do not think so then you are cheating on yourself. You are the person who will ultimately suffer the consequence of your actions. Even if you cannot visibly see the consequence of your action today, there is always a consequence that will show up either now or later on.

Go within. When you have conflicts or trouble in relationships or situations, look in the mirror first. Ask the question to yourself, “What is the problem here?” “What am I doing or not doing to solve this issue, and what can I improve upon?”. In many interpersonal communications with every social aspect, whether its communicating with family, friends, or acquaintances, personal accountability is sorely lacking and urgently needed. Accountability is not just a mindset but is an important skill set that everyone can learn and should master. Choose personal accountability and own it. This commitment will always eventually reveal a much more positive situation for everybody involved.

Unified Cooperation builds Accountability

Through Unified Cooperation, the consistent development of the group can better align towards mutual agreement, that helps to build energetic Coherence, congruence and Accountability, within all members of organizations and communities.

Accountability and Self-Responsibility for one’s direct behavior and actions cannot exist without developing inner Coherence.

Practicing Accountability is a direct part of developing inner Coherence and supporting the integration of the personal layers of the Lightbody. This means we do not have a duplicitous nature, or a split personality that shows one face to the public, and another face in private. We must be willing to give up useless ego power struggles with others.  As we increase our ability to be coherent, we show ourselves as we are, and there is an ability to allow people to be just as they are in that moment, without judgment. As we develop our inner Coherence, the way we perceive events changes, we evolve away from needing to feed negative emotions, control outcomes or stop the need to attack others. Being accountable for our behavior and choosing more evolved and higher ethical behaviors, is how we stop the cycle of painful attachments, servitude and bondage to lower spirits and their negative nature. These negative spirits interfere with the function of our instinctual body, thus, distorting our feelings and intuitive perceptions into creating pain, suffering and misery.

(Source  Ascension Glossary – Accountability, Adapted from: Wikipedia, http://www.byrdbaggett.com, http://www.huffingtonpost.com)

 

 

~via EnergeticSynthesis.com – Time Shift Blog – June 13, 2017

ERIC RAINES: “How to Clear Out Procrastination and Lazy Energy”

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I start off not understanding why, but I feel the need to write. I have a few revelations/understandings to convey.  I had to dive into a buildup of clutter recently that I had been purposely trying to avoid cleaning out just because of the buildup of procrastination and lazy energy I had been unconsciously flagging that particular activity with.

Doing the work I do, I go into a bit more behind the motivations and causes of impulses and emotions than most.  Clearing out this clutter was one of the most rewarding/enlightening experiences I have had to date. I used to work construction, and while in the beginning there is much to learn, once you get a good handle on what you are doing, it becomes routine, just like any other job you are not truly passionate about.  This job became incredibly valuable training in learning how to handle complex trains of thought while working my physical body quite strenuously, and balancing the work with what I have come to realize is a moving meditation.

Whenever I start doing physical work, no matter how mundane, I slip quite easily into this deep level of thinking, and the same happened when the cleaning began.

The reluctance to begin… the aversion to the work… I was realizing how symbolic it was for everything else I had ever been reluctant to do that needed doing.  As each layer was uncovered in the garage, the actual energy of the place was changing palpably.  By diving into this reluctance, it was showing a new level to such a mundane, boring task.  Closing my eyes, I could feel the stagnancy of the energy before I began, and now it was so closely related to the resonance of stagnancy inside of me whenever I lose my motivation and end up finding anything other than play as a waste of time.

Every time in the past when I had procrastinated, the cause was energetic… and not implant related, but entirely of my causing.

Misunderstanding the multidimensional connections that lead me more to wanting to drop everything and go live in the woods with a group of like-minded people, mixed with the responsibilities this Matrix imposes on us, lead to a volatile energetic concoction that is all to common on this planet.

Apathy.

The ability to see something negative coming you way, and do absolutely nothing about it to prevent it.  Worse, you do not care.  Couple this stagnant, self-generated entropy/energy, with the prison construct of this Matrix that most here don’t even know about, and you lead to the perfect cocktail of self-destructive behavior/negative manifestation, which leads to more negative emotions, which lead to more etheric infestation, which leads to more negative manifestation, etc….

This entropy/energy literally saps the life out of us. So I cleared the energy.  I brought a big Source connect down, and vacuumed it all away until I couldn’t feel it any more. Immediately I felt the aversion and the reluctance disappear.  Suddenly it didn’t have an energetic stigma, it was just a chore.

The garage was cleaned in what seemed no time at all, and when everything was said and done, the immediate area had a beautiful, light, happy, bubbly feeling… but what really blew me away was how inside, I felt the exact same.  Rejuvenated almost.  What was done wasn’t just cleaning out clutter, but the energetic/emotional stagnancy out of me as well.

Since then, the creativity and motivation that was already there has seemed to have multiplied exponentially, and here I am writing in my notebook at 12:30 in the morning (I transcribed this the next night), unable to NOT be writing this out so I can truly express how I feel/think about it and gain a complete understanding of it.

Now… I have been thinking of a solution as well, and seeing as how if you see a problem, and don’t look for solutions, you are propagating the problem, here is what was intuited to help energetic/meditation-wise.

First off, pick out something you have been procrastinating/avoiding doing, and then sink into quantum pause breathing for 1-2 minutes (pausing for the same length of time it took for the inhale/exhale at the top and bottom of the breath) at least.  If you can hold this pattern for longer, push it longer.  Because of the release of DMT, this pattern can become a bit difficult after a bit without practice, so use this opportunity to do just that.  Practice.

When ready, picture the situation/job/task you are avoiding, and really put emphasis into feeling that reluctance/avoidance entropy/energy.  Feel how much you don’t want to go near that energetic construct YOU created.  Turn that feeling inside into something tangible inside of you, like a big ugly ball of energy, or whatever you feel like representing it as.  Connect to Source like you would to clear parasites/entities and either suck the representation up, or convert it to light.

If you still feel the aversion afterwards, do it again.  Once complete, there should be a palpable shifting in your energy and motivation.

We have taken care of the energy, now go translate it to the physical, and go immerse yourself in that task you have been avoiding.  Go into the task, knowing you have cleared the energy around it, and the completion of the task will clear the cause of the energy in you… and not just for THAT task, but everything you allow your stagnancy to build with.

If completed, this can be pivotal in personal transformation.

Never be satisfied.  Always strive to be better than you were the day before.

My next update will be about reclaiming the placental blood we were cut off from too soon after birth, and why focusing on or putting a finger in your belly-button can help you rewire your physical abilities in your body almost immediately.

 

 

Eric Raines is a speaker at the Lifting the Cosmic Veil Conference on March 18, 2017 in Seattle, WA. Find out more at In5devents.com.  ~via Unleashinghumanity.com

 

AHTAYAA LEIGH: “Mind Parasites and Purification”

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“Purification of body, mind, soul and spirit is the key. All must be cleansed and purified. As above, so below. As within, so without. Accept responsibility as a part of the body of the Mother Sophia for the state the world is in.”

~Ahtayaa Leigh

 

Our fears are not real. They are mind parasites.  However, if we give them our belief, they have the power to create a distorted reality through our body vehicles, and this is how archons (mind parasites) manifest in the material world.

Everything is mind. We create with the mind. Many humans have mind parasites that hijack the creative process to create fearful situations at all levels that then feed the parasitic archons, the fake rulers of our planet.

It is my wish for every sentient being locked in this fear-based society to see the truth of what it is that controls them. Nothing but a weak, pathetic, soul-less, power-less parasite that must be crushed. Fear has no real power, but it can fool you as it can create illusion through you because it is YOU that is powerful! As an awakening soul on the path, do not be fooled into believing that lower vibrational entities do not exist, for they do exist both within you and without you, and this is why we see evil in the world in this timeline at least. It is the timeline we are changing.

As more Light from the heavenly realms of the Most High God pours forth into the solar system, it is time to start recognizing your power and responsibility to ground this Light and to activate the hearts and souls of those that sleep. You have the power to initiate massive global healing, but you must recognize this holy power, and you must walk through the door where fear may not tread.

Purification of body, mind, soul and spirit is the key. All must be cleansed and purified. As above, so below. As within, so without. Accept responsibility as a part of the body of the Mother Sophia for the state the world is in. There is no one being that is more responsible than another for we are all part of Sophia while we are incarnated here. Without accepting this responsibility, how can we be free and sovereign?

 

 

 

 

~via goldrayhealing.com

 

ELLYN DYE: “Forgiveness As The Ultimate Act Of Self-Love!”

I’ve learned to forgive others easily without looking back… even if I’ve had to eliminate them from my life, upon discovering they’re a narcissist, a sociopath, or a psychopath. When they are liars, thieves, manipulators and schemers and are ‘never wrong’… they will never magically grow a heart and soul… therefore by avoiding them altogether you will probably have a lot more self-love and self-respect. : D

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by Ellyn Dye
Guest writer for In5D.com

Forgiveness can be a really sticky issue. Everyone knows it is “blessed” to forgive, yet most of us secretly—or not-so-secretly— harbor grudges, carry resentments, relive betrayals, and plot revenge, if only in our fantasies. After all, we “earned” those stripes through our own pain and anguish. If we let all that go, we lose part of ourselves, don’t we?? If we let it go, it means it doesn’t matter that we were hurt, doesn’t it?? Often people resist forgiving because they believe that in doing so they are condoning the bad behavior, invalidating their own experience and pain, pretending it never happened, and letting the person off “scot free.” That is simply not the case.

Forgiveness means acknowledging and accepting that something very painful happened or, yes, was done to you… and then letting it go and leaving it in the past where it belongs, so you can heal and move on in your own life. The other person probably moved on a long time ago!

And remember, it is totally up to you what, if any, future relationship you have with that person, and that will likely depend on whether he/she apologized, expressed true remorse, made amends, and worked to earn your trust again. Remember the adage: “Hurt me once, shame on YOU. Hurt me twice, shame on ME.” It’s true! “Turning the other cheek” may mean turning and walking away! We definitely don’t have to go back for a “second dose,” and it behooves us to learn from our experiences. We can only learn who people really are by observing, and sometimes experiencing, their actions. Every action is information about who a person is and whether we want him/her in our lives. And, as Maya Angelou said, “When a person shows you who they are, believe them!”

Holding on to past grievances is like permanently holding ourselves in the moment of the pain so we can relive it over and over again. When we are still stuck emotionally in a painful event, we are stuck firmly in the past, not moving forward with our lives, and we are giving our lives over to that single event. It becomes a defining moment for us. Many people actually define their entire existence in terms of what someone else did to them years, or even decades ago! Is it possible they want their entire life to become a shrine to one painful event? Why? What is the emotional payoff for that?

Think of it this way:  Someone walks up and hits you in the head with a baseball bat and walks away. Instead of going home to get first aid and heal your wound, you pick up the baseball bat and, over the next few years, periodically pick up the bat and hit yourself in the head again. By the end of five years, you’ve hit yourself in the head a few thousand times, with your built-up anger and resentment adding force to each blow. The person who originally hit you with the bat only did it once. So, at the end of the five years, who caused you the most pain and the most harm? That person or you?

Emotional pain, anger, resentment, and bitterness build up in our systems if we don’t vent them and let them go. Emotions are intended to be Energy in Motion, and emotional energies can cause all kinds of problems if they don’t move out of our systems. They are like toxic fumes that continually swirl around us. They make us sick and, worse, attract more toxic fumes… that will attract more painful events… that will emit more toxic fumes…

We create a continuing loop, and each time we relive the event in our minds, the neural networks that were created become deeper and stronger, so it is easier to “fall back” into that thought and feeling. It poisons our minds, our hearts, our bodies, and our lives, and often the lives of those around us. Before long, we view everything through that filter and our vision, our thoughts, and our emotional processes are so poisoned that the only thing we can see, think, or feel is pain, anger, resentment, and bitterness. We begin to believe that Life is defined by that, and we no longer allow anything else in, because our outer reality always proves that our beliefs are true!

It also traps us in victim mode. By holding on to past grievances and marinating ourselves in those toxic emotions, we give every ounce of our power away to the other person.We give up responsibility for ourselves and our emotional state of being, we wallow in our self-pity, and we give others power over our lives.

The truth is, no one can truly hurt us unless we let them.(OUCH!) Knowingly or unknowingly, we contribute to our own pain. We may not have control over what others do but, contrary to popular belief, we DO have control over how we respond. We can cling to the pain and relive it, or we can heal and walk away. In fact, it is never the experiences that create our lives and who we are, it is how we respond to them. Do we learn and grow and rise above, or do we fall and wallow and give up? It really is our choice.

As is so often the case, we can learn so much from the children. Kids know how to “shake it off,” unless the adults teach them to cling to their pain. A happy child falls, skins a knee, has mom “fix it,” and then runs out to play again. Kids accept that pain is just something that happens in life. They know all too well that sometimes people are mean and do things that hurt them, and they don’t let it stop them. We could use a lot more of that!

We owe it to ourselves to forgive. It is all for US, not for them. Forgiveness is truly a “selfish act,” and it really does set us free.

So how do we do that? When someone betrays us; abuses us; takes advantage of us; causes physical, mental, or emotional harm, how do we work our way to the point where we can forgive them and let it go? How do we, as Jiminy Cricket used to say, “Pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and start all over again”?

It isn’t always easy, and we generally have to go one step at a time, but it may be the most important part of our healing process. If we can reframe our understanding of the event, we can often change our perspective enough to forgive and make lemonade from those lemons. Here are some ways to reframe:

Recognize that everyone is doing the best they can with the resources they have at the time. This includes ALL resources, such as emotional understanding and capacity, self-esteem, knowledge, wisdom, experience, energy, ability to empathize with others, and level of overwhelm. Most people are running on empty, especially in the last few years: they are stretched so thin, they don’t have enough time, energy, money, strength, or mental or emotional capacity to cope. People are running on auto-pilot, and when a complex situation presents itself that requires discernment, integrity, generosity, kindness, and love, often they only have the ability to react out of fear. They cannot think about the impact of their actions on other people, because they are struggling just to manage a situation and get through it.

Even when people do try to consider others, they still don’t really know the full impact of their actions; none of us can ever really know, because a person’s reaction to what we do is based not only on what we do, but also on their entire emotional history.

What other people do to us is not really about US. How we react to what other people do to us is not really about THEM.

What people do comes from their state of mind, emotional state, and emotional baggage. How we react to anything that happens to us comes from our state of mind, emotional state, and emotional baggage.

This is an important distinction: our reactions and sensitivities to what others do is our own, based on everything that has ever happened to us and how we have reacted. People can push our buttons without even knowing we have those buttons, and we can push theirs. Heck, I can push people’s buttons just by walking into a room!! What is perfectly fine for one person can be highly offensive, threatening, or pain-invoking for someone else. And we have absolutely no way of knowing that until we find out the hard way, when they react in a totally unexpected way. It’s the same for others and our reactions. The key for all of us is to identify the buttons we have and heal the underlying pain, so there is no longer a button to push!

Forgive them, for they know not what they do. To me, this request, attributed to Jesus on the cross, is one of the most important, and most difficult, lessons in the Bible. When we can recognize that every action, by anyone, is either an act of love or a cry for love,and respond accordingly, we have truly released our attachment to control and pain and moved into love and compassion. When we can learn to be in that space of love and forgiveness, we have taken a giant step in our own healing and evolution.

Even when someone does something intentionally to be mean, inflicting damage or pain on purpose, they still do not know what they are doing or why. They are still only acting from the depths of their own fear, pain, and insecurity, doing the best they can. If bullies were not so terrified and self-loathing, themselves, they would not feel the need to inflict pain on others. Because of the abuse they have endured in their own lives, they can only feel powerful or good about themselves when they are putting others down or abusing them. They are getting through life the only way they know how, by treating others as they have been treated. Instead of healing their own pain, they inflict pain on others. Sadly, it appears that our culture has created a society of bullies. “The sins of the father,” passed down from generation to generation, are the dysfunctional, self-loathing ways of being in the world, based on the accumulated unhealed wounds and pain.

People who feel good about themselves, who are self-aware, and who have worked on their own healing, generally have no need to intentionally cause pain or create conflict; and if they do so by mistake, they usually can recognize it quickly and rectify it or make amends. People who indulge in desperate acts feel desperate inside. People who inflict pain are filled with pain, themselves. People who act badly simply are unable, in that moment, to act any better, for whatever reason. They cannot be focused on you and your pain, because they can only focus on their own. Forgive them, for they know not what they do.

Recognizing how we often participate in causing ourselves pain is a humbling experience, and an important step toward forgiveness of ourselves and others, as well as toward our own self-awareness.

We must understand that no one can hurt us emotionally unless we “let” them. Nothing anyone else does is deeply painful unless there is something inside us that resonates with it. That unhealed emotional pain inside us—or our attachment to control of external events and others—sets up a resonance and attracts more pain into our lives. It’s those “buttons” again, that keep getting pushed. Used consciously, an emotional response can alert us to our deep, unhealed pain so we can heal it and eliminate the buttons. Unfortunately, we usually just cling more to each painful incident, thus increasing the resonance in an escalating cycle.

When we blame others for how we feel, regardless of what they have done; when we give others the power to hurt us and “ruin” our lives, we keep ourselves trapped in that resonance-pain-resonance-pain feedback loop. And if we feel, deep inside, that we deserve pain—or if we have been betraying ourselves by allowing abuse—then pain and betrayal will become the pattern of our lives until we break the cycle. And it is up to us, not someone else, to do the work to heal and break the cycle. If we allow ourselves to be doormats, we cannot really hold it against someone who wipes his feet on us, because we invited the action, consciously or unconsciously.

It’s up to us to teach people how to treat us, and we do that every day in every interaction, consciously or unconsciously. We do it by what we allow and what we don’t allow. Our relationships show us what we are teaching people about how we believe we deserve to be treated—and sometimes, that’s not pretty! We often stay in abusive situations, hoping the other person will change, because we are too afraid to empower ourselves to leave and create our own change. Or, deep down, we believe that we deserve it. (We don’t—EVER! And sometimes that’s our biggest lesson!)

We can also sometimes unconsciously “invite” or set ourselves up for disappointment and pain by harboring unrealistic expectations of others and/or by not clearly conveying our expectations to others. That is a trap, and no one wins. Often, we feel that others should somehow “know” what we need, want, or expect (possibly because we are afraid to express our needs clearly, or don’t believe we deserve to have them met). When others do not fulfill those needs or expectations, we take it personally, feel hurt, and hold it against them. But our needs are our responsibility.

We also may expect others to act in the same ways that we would in a given situation; we expect someone to act fairly because we would, or we expect someone to consider our needs and feelings because we would do that for them. We expect others to share our values and integrity and, perhaps to even act in our interests instead of their own. But again, these are unrealistic expectations, and unrealistic expectations only set us up for disappointment and pain. We can only realistically expect other people to act the way they act, in their self-interest as they perceive it. It is the only thing they can do—and often, it is incomprehensible to us.

We often have to forgive ourselves, too, and that can be even harder than forgiving someone else, because we judge ourselves so harshly. We often feel angrier, longer, about a painful situation when we believe part of it was our fault, or that we set ourselves up, when our internal dialogue says:  “I should have known better,” “I never should have trusted that person,” “I should have asked more questions,” “I should not have deferred to such an extent to that person, and let her take advantage,” etc., etc.  In those cases, it’s easier to hold on to the grudge against the other person, because otherwise we must look at our own anger and judgment of ourselves, and sit with the shame of our perceived failure. But blame and shame always keep us from healing and moving on, no matter who we are blaming.

We all have 20/20 hindsight, we all make mistakes and sometimes overlook what appears in retrospect like something that should have been obvious, forgetting that it wasn’t obvious at the time (and often, there’s no reason it would be). We are not perfect and we are not all-knowing. We cannot know how everything will turn out (not even those of us who are “psychic”!). We cannot possibly know how other people will act overreact. Like everyone else, we can only do the best we can. We can only guess, based on our experience, and hope we’re right; and if we are wrong, it is not really a failure on our part. Those thoughts really only reflect our deep desire for control and our fear of the unknown and of making mistakes. And that comes from our cultural mandate to mask our deep self-loathing, self-doubt, and fear with a veneer of perfectionism. Perhaps it stems from a deep-seated fear of a mean, judgmental God, who expects us to be perfect. But God does not expect us to be perfect, and God does not judge us. Those are singularly human traits.

When we can allow ourselves to make mistakes, giving ourselves the benefit of the doubt and knowing that we did the best we could at the time—even if we can later think of ways we could have done better—we can begin to allow others to make mistakes and give them the benefit of the doubt, too, even when those mistakes hurt us. We are all, in fact, human! And making mistakes is the only way we really learn.

We break the blame-and-shame cycle by letting go of old hurts, forgiving ourselves and others, and loving and healing ourselves. When we can feel compassion for those who cause us pain, when we understand that they are doing the best they can and really don’t know any better, or may not even know they are hurting us, we set ourselves free. When we take responsibility for our own feelings and reactions, rather than placing that responsibility on others, we empower ourselves.

Even better, when we treat ourselves with love, kindness, and compassion, others begin to treat us the same way. When we love and heal ourselves, we release the resonance for pain and drama and, stop attracting that into our lives. When we detach from judgment, grudges, and pain, we can set new intentions for ease and grace, and fuel those intentions with all the energy that has been freed up. That’s when we begin to attract love, joy, peace, and abundance.

Why not leave all those old, festering wounds, and all that pain and emotional baggage in the past where it belongs? Close the door on it all and start fresh. Begin again, and treat yourself and others the way you have always wanted to be treated, with love and respect, kindness and consideration, and, yes, forgiveness when you make a mistake, do something “stupid,” or unintentionally hurt yourself or others.

When we start loving ourselves more, treating ourselves better, and forgiving our faults, foibles, and mistakes, those around us can only follow suit… or fall away. And, if there is a falling out or a falling away in these transformational times, we can do our best to allow that, and send the other person off with love and forgiveness, knowing that when we allow change, rather than resist it, everything really does work out for our Highest Good.

About the author:
Ellyn Dye
is an Author, Intuitive Coach, Metaphysical Teacher, and Public Speaker. A near-death experience in 1985 expanded her psychic abilities and created a link with some very loving—and humorous—Guardians of humanity and the ancient wisdom, the Lion People. They provided her with a vast array of information about life on earth and the evolution of mankind, and they opened an ongoing dialogue with her that has grown stronger over time. She publishes a monthly free newsletter, Tunnel Vision, and you can find her articles in the December 2012 and 2013 “Predictions Issues” of The Sedona Journal of Emergence. She is author of the metaphysical fantasy novel , The Search For The Crystal Key, and is working on a new book, Creating Heaven on Earth. . . One Soul at a Time; A How-To Manual for Ushering In the Golden Age, from the Perspective of a Near-Death Experience. Find out more about Ellyn, her NDE, her coaching, and her books, and calendars at www.LionMagic.com.

AMANDA GOINS: “Cutting Cords With That Which Dulls Your Shine”

energy-cord

by Amanda Goins

In life, at times it is necessary to let go of people and things which are no longer serving our highest good.  These may be new and fleeting things which are easy to let go of, or aspects of our lives which have been an integral part since childhood — that may seem much more difficult.  However, if a person or thing is truly bringing you down, you may find that after the dust clears you feel much freer.  I have been dealing with this in my own life recently.

Letting go of people and things has always been a challenge to me.  I tend to look at others through the scope of their best aspects, and give people the benefit of doubt.   The understanding that I finally came to — that which made me free, is that just because you love someone, doesn’t mean you have to have them as an active part of your life.

By choosing a life-style centered in love, you do not have to allow yourself to be a doormat for others negativity all the time.  Only you can discern who and what to have as a part of your experience.  Also, keep an open mind — I try not not give up on anyone completely.

Forgiveness is key. If someone has become toxic in your life, many times they are not aware.  Talk it over with them if you wish, however if you feel that they will not listen, do not feel obligated to do anymore but send them on their way with love toward them.  Even when I choose to cut ties with someone, I do not wish ill upon them.   Separation may give the person independence to grow, and may do the same for you as well.

I have recently learned, that I am only truly responsible for myself.  The more I allow myself to grow and be happy, the more happiness I have to share with all those I love.  I am not here to save anyone, or fix anyone.  We are each on our own journeys.   This is why judging another is always a mistake.  I had to learn, however, that you do not have to agree with everyone, or allow people to sway you in a manner that does not feel right in your soul.  Taking responsibility for yourself, sometimes means cutting ties with those who are impacting your life in a negative manner.

As I mentioned above, though this has been a trying experience for me. The result is that I feel much more free and true to myself.  Authenticity and honesty will never steer you wrong.

So much love everyone,

Amanda ❤ ❤ ❤

 

 

www.amandagoins.wordpress.com

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