DEJAN DAVCEVSKI: “The 3 Best Mental Tools You Already Have That Will Help You Build A Better Life”

Most of us know how we want to live. We know exactly what we need to do, maybe even how, and yet less than 1% of the people are living on their terms. Why is this?

The short answer is that people lack proper education, nobody has told them that there are mental tools they can learn to use, nobody has showed them how.

Just like you need tools to build, for example a house, you need mental tools to build the reality you want to live in.

There are countless mental tools developed by people who were in desperate need of them. These people needed these tools so much that they created them to help themselves.

Before you go out exploring all the existing mental tools, here are the 3 best and most essential ones you will need to create a better life for yourself.

The 3 Best Mental Tools To Build Better Life:

 

1. The 5 Second Rule.

Most of you know “The 5 Second Rule” to be something that applies to food that you might have dropped. But this is a different rule.

This is a mental tool developed by TV host, author and motivational speaker Mel Robbins and it’s the main thing that helped her rise even higher when she was hitting rock bottom.

This so called “5 Second Rule” is really simple. All it means is that whenever you want, or need, or should do something, count from 5 to 1 and lift off into action.

Mel first started using this mental tool in the mornings, when she felt like not getting out of bed. She started counting 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and on 1, without thinking, she just got up.

The truth is, you will never going to feel like it’s the perfect moment for taking action. However, with this simple tool you will have mental leverage to launch yourself into action.

2. Turn ANTs Into PETs.

So, of course, we are not talking about actual ants. ANT is short for Automatic Negative Thoughts and PET is short for Positive Encouraging Thoughts.

Dr. Daniel G. Amen got the idea when his home was infested with ants. He looked at the real ants and realized that most people have minds that are infested with negative thoughts.

Most of us think the same 90% of the thoughts every day, and most of these thoughts are negative. There are over 20 mental distortions that twist our reality to seem more negative.

There is an easy tool that Dr. Daniel developed, to turn ANTs into PETs, and it’s in a form of asking yourself 5 simple questions whenever you notice a negative thought.

Is the negative thought true? Can I absolutely know that it is true? How do I react when I feel this thought? Who would I be without this thought? What’s the opposite thought?

3. What’s Pulling, What’s Pushing?

If you are like most of us, you have had a dilemma when you didn’t know what to choose between two or more choices. Most of us have such dilemmas daily.

And this is normal. However, most people don’t really know how to choose the best out of all their conflicting options.

There is a simple mental tool you can use, in a form of 2 simple questions that will clarify so many things for you.

Whenever in a dilemma between two choices ask yourself “What’s pulling me in that direction, love or fear, abundance or scarcity?”

Now ask yourself “What’s pushing me in the opposite direction, love or fear, abundance or scarcity?” Choose the options that are inspired by abundance and love.

 

~via LifeCoachCode.com

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SARA K. WASSER: “5 Ways To Cultivate Peace & Love Through Your Words”

Have you ever pondered the relentless strength of the tongue? It is a small part of the body yet it carries great power!

We use our tongue to praise Destiny and, in another breath, curse Destiny’s design. We pour praise and contempt from the same mouth

How can this be?

What change might we affect with a transformation of our speech?

Let’s transform our corner of the world with the love seed of our words.

If you’d like to see a shift happen in your business, with your coworkers, in your personal relationships, or even more broadly within your culture then follow these 5 steps. You have the power and influence to transform unhealthy, destructive, stifling, and caustic environments.

The first step to bringing peace into any negative situation is to refuse to participate in any negative conversation about someone else unless you can be part of the solution to the problem.

How often has it happened to you that a coworker, friend, or family member approaches you with something akin to: ”Have you heard the latest about Sally? Did you know that she left him; her son is on meth; her daughter is pregnant; he lost his job; she cheated on him; she was fired; they lost their home; he lost custody of his children”, etc., etc., etc.? Once those negative thoughts get planted in your mind, they will color absolutely everything else you hear about that individual and their situation.

Instead, learn deflection questions. Deflect the negativity with an innocuous and distracting question, “What did you eat for breakfast today?” “Did you ever get around to watching that movie?” “How’s the renovation progressing?” Throw the bearer-of-bad-news off with a distracting question.

Secondly, if you hear something negative about someone you love then check in with them. Allow yourself the opportunity to discern the truth of the situation firsthand rather than working from someone else’s input and point of view.

Ask questions of love and concern, free of accusation and suspicion. “Is there anything I need to know?” “Is there anything you need right now?”

Thirdly, if you hear something that haunts you don’t assume that it’s the full truth. This can be something in your immediate family or circle of friends. It can also be something cultural, something in the media.

Exercise the higher energy of listening and sharing love. We don’t need to know the details of what’s happening. It feels better to love than to know the private details of someone else’s life or pitfall.

Fourthly, refuse to judge information about someone at face value. This pertains to those within close proximity to you. Whatever you hear, remember there’s two sides to every story.

There’s no such thing as a one-sided story, not in real life.

If you hear something negative about someone, the human tendency is to shut off (to some extent) to that person. Remember, negative news is not to be taken at full value.

If something negative is spoken to you before you can deflect, quickly speak 4-5 positive thoughts aloud concerning that individual in order to discourage your mind from harboring unsubstantiated negativity towards that individual. This will allow you to remain in a state of peace and love towards that person.

Finally, step number five, if you need to confront someone, don’t tell anyone else. If you process your heart with people about negative information about someone else, especially if you’re going through a divorce or a business separation, they will take what you say at full value. This might feel good in the heat of the moment, but when the emotion, hurt, or betrayal dissipates you will be left with a network of friends who can only support you in making a decision that’s based on your emotional state rather than a state of clarity, stability, and groundedness.

For this reason, it’s good to have 2-3 close friends or processors that serve to talk things through with you. If you have this small, consistent group of processors they will come to know you well enough to be able to discern your moodiness, emotionalism, hurt, and anger so that they can provide trustworthy input rather than a mirroring of your own emotions. Your processors will come to know your tendencies and hear you and love you appropriately for where you are in that moment.

If we prove trustworthy with people’s reputations in our mouth and we start to love them and care about who they are, we will gain influence in places that we could have never otherwise gained entrance. This principle extends to every circle of our respective cultures.

Before you even have need of them, pick 2-3 people that you’re going to do life with over the next five years. Even if they’re not going to be around for the next five years, pick them as if they are. These people will be your processors.

Over the course of the next 7 days, watch your mouth. Every night, rehearse the conversations you had that day. This isn’t a time to beat yourself up or wallow in regret. It’s meant to be a simple exercise for improvement, not debasement. Simply ask yourself, “What could I have done differently? What could I have said better? How could I have honored them more? What could have built that relationship more? When I was talking about her, did I do it well? When I shared that story, was I honoring?”

If you’re looking to make a lasting change, rehearse each day’s speech at the close of the day for the next 30 days. Let’s discipline ourselves to make every decision out of peace and love.

We can start to do this by asking a couple simple questions: Where was peace in that moment? Where was love in that moment?

By our very nature, we are change agents, equipped to affect history and humanity. Let’s leave a legacy of peace and love.

How will you consciously invite peace and love into your speech today?

 

 

~via ConsciousReminder.com

PAUL LENDA & CHRISTIE SHELDON: “16 Ways to Bring Positive Energy Into Your Life”

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You’ve felt it.  You’re in a group of people, and somebody walks in with a black cloud hanging over their head.  Their energy repels you, and you may find your own mood affected by it.  So how can you NOT be one of those people?  We all have bad days, but with a few simple tricks, you can avoid letting that black cloud grow and hover over you.

1.  Do not dwell on the negatives.

Stuff happens.  It’s how you respond that matters.  If you choose to be victimized by what happens, your negative energy will gain momentum.  Instead:

 —Stop thinking about it if there’s nothing you can do to improve it  (if a thought comes up about that situation, do not allow it to continue — force yourself to think about something else).

 —Do not talk about it anymore than you absolutely have to.  Don’t give it energy!

 —Find the blessings and lessons in the situation.  This may take some time, but if you stay busy looking for them, you won’t dwell on how something negatively impacted you.

2.  Do not speak of your problems, diseases, illnesses or worries.

The more energy you give what is wrong, the more it persists.  Yes, we all need to vent once in a while but if you vent, or even when you’re just thinking about what’s wrong, here are some rules:

 —Don’t think or say: “I’m so sick, I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck!  I don’t know how I’m going to get through the week!”  Do think or say: “I caught some bug but I’m taking good care of myself and I’m feeling better every day!”

 —Don’t think or say: “This job is terrible! My boss is a jerk and nobody appreciates me!”  Do think or say: “I’m looking for a better job and meantime I’m trying to learn as much as I can so I benefit. In fact, my boss is the perfect example of how not to treat employees!”

3.  Love and accept yourself.  As you are.  NOW.

It’s easy to beat yourself up about what’s wrong, but how much energy do you give to your positive qualities?  Do that more.  For every negative comment you make about yourself, give yourself FIVE compliments.

4.  Let go of the past.

You can’t undo anything.  It’s done.  Forgive others, forgive yourself… learn from your mistakes, learn from others’ mistakes, remember that NO unkind or thoughtless action ever comes from love but from a place of deep inner pain  (you can be compassionate to that pain without condoning the acting out of the pain) and release the energetic burden you carry: grudges, resentments, pain, hurt, disappointments, sadness, anger, guilt… let it all go.

5.  Don’t give away your power or your happiness.

Remember that when you criticize, judge or blame others, you are choosing to focus on what they’re doing wrong or what’s wrong with them — and you give these people the power to control your mood and state of mind.  Ask yourself why somebody’s behavior irritates you so much that you allow yourself to get upset about it.  Why let others’ behavior affect your mood?  Why give them the power to control your happiness?  Instead of criticizing, judging or blaming, find something you can compliment them on.

6.  Do not say yes when you mean no.

Honor your needs, priorities, time and energy!  You’ll resent it.  Save your precious time and energy for things that are meaningful to you, or in instances where others ask you to do something, make sure that it brings you satisfaction and joy.  Otherwise, politely decline.

7.  Laugh!  Smile! 

Surround yourself with upbeat people who make you laugh.

8.  Be grateful.

Appreciate the many blessings, but also appreciate the struggles and frustrations.  How have you become enriched because of them?

9.  Don’t worry.

Use your imagination to visualize what can go right, instead of what can go wrong.  Train yourself to visualize the best-case scenario.  Be solution-oriented, not problem-oriented.  Think only about the ideal situation, not the current problematic situation.

10.  Run it off.

Exercise physically removes you from your problems, and it also removes you mentally.  If you’re worried about something, you need to give your brain a chance to process things.  Exercise will flood your system with feel-good endorphins, release stress and in the middle of a long bike ride, walk or swim… or in the middle of the climbing wall, you may suddenly have an epiphany.  Or, at least for a while, you will be fully present and not worried about the future.

11.  Be present.

Speaking of being present, be interested in what you’re doing, no matter how “boring” or “mundane” it may be — quotes intended, because any activity can be made as interesting as you are willing to make it.  This will keep you in the moment and will keep your mind off your troubles and worries.

You have the power to control your mood.  Use these positive-energy-boosting exercises every single day.  Before long, you will be the high-vibrating ray of sunshine that brightens everyone’s mood!  We all have the ability to look to our mind for ways to not only dissolve that sadness, but to cultivate such a positive state of mind that we won’t fall easily back into melancholia.

There are many ways in which we can cultivate positive energy five ways to transform your mindset from darkness into light, sadness into happiness.  May they also help lift up your soul.

12.  Appreciation

When you appreciate someone, you’re tuned into their positive qualities and express your empathy and gratitude for them.  It’s a simple way to refresh yourself and establish heartfelt connections with ourselves and others.

With so much beauty all around us, it is easy to show our appreciation to others, and nature, on a daily basis.  Try appreciating the simple things you might take for granted, for example, a deep relaxing breath of crisp outdoor air or the pleasurable radiant warmth of the sun at noon.  Or the thing we should be the most grateful for  (but the one we often forget) — that we’re alive and so fortunate to experience each and every day.

As you do this, try to focus completely on the good this experience offers you and acknowledge that you — and only you have created it — no matter how it came to you.  Regardless of your condition or circumstances, there will always be something that you can find to appreciate.

13.  Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the moment-to-moment experience of peace and understanding that occurs when the suffering of someone who feels injured has their suffering reduced as they transform the grievance that initiated that suffering.  By embracing the feeling of forgiveness as something that can help us, we accept it as an aspect of acceptance, love, peace, and truth instead of experiencing hatred, negativity, and falsehood — all of which are faces of resentment.  By being forgiving, we acknowledge that people make mistakes and release the emotional burden that holding a grudge has on us.

14.  Selflessness

When we are selfless, we shift our focus onto the needs of others, rather than keeping it on ourselves.  It’s the practice of being unselfish and minimizing the gratification of the ego’s wants and desires.

In order to make the life-redefining shift from selfishness to selflessness, go and focus on the well-being of others.  This can be done in countless ways.  You can clean up your life and surrender a fully healed body, heart, mind and soul to others when entering a relationship.

You can also be ready to share any amount of time needed by others whenever they need it  (don’t allow yourself to be used, however).  Be happy with your life and with whatever you are offered by others.  Whenever you are sure to give your very best, you are receiving exactly what ever you need for your greatest possible benefit.

15.  Wonder

Experiences of wonder can lead us to a sense of transcendence and realization of higher states of consciousness.  From a mystical perspective, it relates to affirmation, as wonder openings reveal the infinite and the source of all that is, which operates as gateways to uniting experiences.

Buddhism muses that distinctions limited to relative or empirical reality are just an illusion; resulting in the continuation of anguish, pain and frustration because we become alienated from experiencing reality through the eyes of a child where everything was wondrous.  In short, wonder leads us tasting a unified and infinite existence that enriches our life experience.

16. Nostalgia

Nostalgia is a yearning for a return to some past period or seemingly irrecoverable condition that’s seen in a positive light.

Studies have found that people who have a heightened level of nostalgia have higher self-esteem and are less prone to depression.  Thinking of good memories for just 15 or 20 minutes a day can make you more cheerful than you were the week before, and happier than if you think of your current life.  Nostalgia is a very potent mood booster, so if you seem to be in a bit of a funk, think about good memories of times past and you will experience higher self-esteem and feel more positive about friendships and close relationships.

~via In5D.com