NIKKI SAPP: “Seven Ways to Heal Negative Emotions”

“If God him/her/itself arrived at your doorstep for dinner, how would you treat him/her/it? Most likely with the utmost respect and reverence, right? So now you know how you should treat each emotion that arises as well.”

~Nikki Sapp

 

When you come to a point in your self-awareness process where you are beginning to become acutely aware of the emotional responses that are happening within you day-to-day, you may have found that there is a very fine line between showing support to yourself while you experience painful emotions and attaching yourself to the emotions as a sense of identity.

Walking this line, trying to find a balance between the two proves to be the difference between becoming a confident, healed and self-loving person, rooted in awareness rather than ego or being a victim of life, so intertwined with our painful emotions and the stories attached to them that they become extremely difficult to heal to completion.

While one should never use their idea of “being a positive person” as a means of trying to get rid of the natural emotions that are arising in them by methods of manipulation or judgment, there is undoubtedly approaches in dealing with painful or “negative emotions” that are in fact effective in helping them heal and transform all on their own, which in turn creates the space by which the blissful “positive” emotions that are our inherent nature can arise.

Seven Ways to Heal Negative Emotions

 

1. Acknowledge them

We cannot change that which we deny is even happening, which is why the very initial step to helping to create a space for healing for any emotion is to acknowledge it’s existence. You don’t even have to name the emotion if you are at a point where you can meditate and feel into the energy of the emotion, but nonetheless you must see that it is there.

Most emotions orbit repeatedly in our energy field because they have been feared, rejected or denied which only perpetuates them. When a painful emotion arises, that should tell you a deeper inquiry is required. Simply put, they are arising to be seen so that they can eventually be healed by you.

2. Honor Them

If we know that all stems from source (God/the divine/the omnipresent Universe) we should also know that even painful emotions fit into this category as well. Knowing this is a huge reason why honoring each emotion as God is hugely transformative.

If God him/her/itself arrived at your doorstep for dinner, how would you treat him/her/it? Most likely with the utmost respect and reverence, right?

So now you know how you should treat each emotion that arises as well. While it’s easy to treat joyful emotions with respect, it’s not as so with the emotions that feel painful in our body, but nonetheless that respect is required in assisting these emotions into a place where they can relax and dissolve into our awareness.

3. Do not blame them on anyone/ Do not own them as your own

Here is another approach that can be rather tricky, especially if you are new into self-awareness. Very often our emotions come as an onset after someone else’s behavior or words, which makes it “feel” like that person is to blame for the emotion. On one level of consciousness this may feel true, but those who are seasoned in self-awareness know something that takes this perspective into a higher truth.

That pearl of insight, is that people are coming into our lives to act as catalysts to bring up the very emotions that exist unhealed in our energy field. This means that rather than blaming them for causing the emotion (which completely disempowers us into needing them to change or apologize before we can heal), we can see them as messengers that provide unlikely clues into our own healing.

On the opposite end, we must also not become to attached to the idea of ownership from within either. We are the consciousness behind the emotion, so while there may be a limiting belief that is running a program in our subconscious mind that has been triggered by the action of another, it does not mean we ARE that emotion.

We are simply the awareness who has the power to heal that defunct programming and emotional block by observing it, feeling it, and respecting it — but not owning it.

4. See them as evidence of their opposite vibration

One helpful way to assist in actually having the courage to feel an emotion head on, is to know that emotions dissolve as a way to create space for their opposite to emerge. This means that all unworthiness — when actually faced and felt — is creating the healing space that makes way for worthiness to arise in it’s place.

Anytime you are able to pinpoint what emotion you are having, you can acknowledge it and also bless it with it’s opposite, or even just declare, “I accept that this fear of not having enough is the evidence that space is being created for abundance consciousness. In knowing this, I allow myself to feel this fear completely without judgment as it’s simply healing as I’m feeling it.”

5. Thank Them

As we come to know that no emotion arises as a mistake, we come to see some of the hidden gifts emotional responses contain. One is helping us identify where we are holding onto a subconscious belief or definition that is out of alignment with our highest truth.

All emotions stem from a belief, so no negative emotion can arise without there also being a belief behind it. Knowing this makes these emotions amazing gifts in helping us to re-write our subconscious beliefs!

By taking the time to sit with each emotion and appreciate it for the healing benefits and clues it contains, the emotions begin to soften and reveal their source — meaning the subconscious belief they stemmed from. As we re-write that belief we are able to heal that emotion.

6. Celebrate them

With many things on the spiritual journey it is the most ironic or unheard of approach that actually is effective. Probably the last thing you would ever think to do when a painful emotion arises is celebrate it’s arrival– which is why this approach is also hugely transformational.

Treat it like you truly cherish it’s arrival and are so humbled to have it’s presence and the wisdom it holds in your energy field. Watch how quickly you are able to detach from negativity when you do the one thing that you would have never thought to, which is actually celebrate it’s existence instead of judging or resisting it.

7. Welcome them back home into the light

Imagine your open heart as a doorway into the light for each emotion. As you open your heart and allow yourself to feel the energetic signature of each emotion, what you are actually doing is letting that emotion be welcomed into your heart space, which leads to the light that you are. The light is where all emotions go to heaven so to speak.

You may have heard the word alchemy in relation to the spiritual journey and this approach is exactly what that word means. Alchemists use the light of their true nature to be avenue by which painful emotions are dissolved into space — by simply feeling them to completion and welcoming them into their heart space.

It is important to note that it is most likely that you will need to use more than one or a combination of a few different approaches with each emotion. Nonetheless, it’s also important to remember to honor your humanity in all of this.

It’s often easy to see ourselves spiritual robots here to use our techniques to get rid of all that “negative energy” we don’t want to deal with, but without also honoring the part of us that innocently feels these emotions from a human place, we become the manipulators of our emotions vs. the safe place they long for to return home.

 

~via FractalEnlightenment.com

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NIKKI SAPP: “Giving Advice and Being the Light for Others”

“I find the best way to love someone is not to change them but instead, help them reveal the greatest version of themselves”

~Dr. Steve Maraboli

 

At a certain point in our spiritual journey we begin to unlock our own inner truth. We no longer are looking to outside sources such as religions, gurus, self-help books, etc. to tell us what to do and how to be, but instead we begin to realize that the answers were inside of us all along.

Not to say that we still don’t read books or open ourselves up to learning from others, but rather we have a more clear connection with our own intuition, which allows us to FEEL the “truth” rather than intellectualize it only.

When we were at the point that we needed outside sources to show us the way, they were coincidentally brought into our lives, either in the forms of other people, reading material, or any modality of spirituality that best fit our own personal needs.

Once, we have graduated from needing the constant affirmation and validation from these outside entities, we most likely will find that we have become the “teacher” that has manifested in someone else’s life in the form of a way-shower.

Then it becomes our turn to be the light on someone else’s path. If you have found yourself in this position, consider your responsibility very carefully. Life is a constant journey of learning and growing, and just like there will be countless teachers on our path of growth, we will also find ourselves in situations that we must be the teacher.

So what is the most effective way of being the light and giving someone advice? How do we go about showing someone the way to their own inner truth while still allowing them to learn their own lessons without our interference?

“A teacher is never a giver of truth; he is a guide, a pointer to the truth that each student must find for himself.”

~Bruce Lee

 

The only person we will have the power to change is ourselves. No matter how much we want the best for someone, want them to be happy, want them to realize their inner light, or want them to be their best self, we cannot force them to do any of these things.

And just like we had to walk our own journey, complete with struggle, adversity, heartache, sadness, anger, etc.. we must realize that all these things are a part of the human experience, so they too will most likely have to go through all of them.

When we give advice to others we must always realize we are only speaking from our own inner truth, the truth as we know it given the situations and circumstances that we’ve experienced.

However, their life is not ours. Their truth will never be exactly the same as our truth because their mind is not our mind and their life has not been exactly as ours has. What we can do however is be in our own awareness and light so strongly that we become an inspiration for them to find their own awareness and light.

If a person comes to us for advice and questions we can’t come up with a million “You need to…” or “You should do this…”, directives, but instead, only point them in the direction of their own inner light and unconditional love. The only advice there ever is to really give is to accept the “what is” and love yourself anyway.

All arrows should point back to unconditional love of the self… no matter if the person is sad, depressed, frustrated, insecure, it doesn’t matter. As long as they have identified the feeling, felt it without resisting it, accepted themselves for having it and loved it, there can be nothing else to do. Without attaching ourselves to the outcome of whether they follow our advice or not, we actually free ourselves and them.

We don’t fear for them, because we trust that their journey is bringing them to the right people and situations that are perfect for them. And they don’t abandon their own inner self by blindly attaching to whatever we are saying as their ultimate truth, which may not always be what’s best for them.

However, if we find that we have been put in another person’s life to help them, guide them or show them something, we must trust that the Universe is speaking through us in the best and most effective way possible. Without doubting ourselves, we find that our inner light shines automatically and manifests in the best way possible for all parties involved, as long as we trust that it always will.

“As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence actually liberates others.”

~Marianne Williamson

 

We will sometimes be students and we will sometimes be teachers in life. Since we cannot ever know everything about everything, we will find that this role reversal happens over and over throughout our lives.

The most amazing thing about all of this is that as soon as we think we are giving someone else advice and showing them the way, as most teachers know, we realize that we were also giving ourselves the same advice.

Sometimes the Universe brings another person to us in the form of a student, but in actuality in our helping of them, we are actually helping ourselves with the same issue. By being in the form of another person, we were able to look at the situation in a different way, from a 3rd party perspective, that we weren’t able to do when dealing with ourselves and our own life.

As always, we must be the change we wish to see in the world. In doing this, we find that we always attract the right people into our lives, either to teach us something about ourselves or to be the teacher for them.

But if we really pay attention and become super aware of how things happen in this ironic Universe, we realize…. it is always both.

 

~via FractalEnlightenment.com

NIKKI SAPP: “How To Be Confident While Remaining Humble”

“There’s a thin line between confidence and arrogance… it’s called humility. Confidence smiles, arrogance smirks.”

~Unknown

 

Somewhere along the line what we recognized as confidence may have been misconstrued a little. We started associating traits like aggressive, loud, opinionated and arrogant with being a confident person. You’ve probably seen the type, or maybe you are the type.

They know FOR SURE that what they believe is the unequivocal truth. Therefore they need to tell everyone about it… constantly.

When they aren’t able to convince someone to believe exactly as they believe they may be caught calling others, “asleep” or a “sheep” or any other plethora of derogatory names that I probably can’t mention here. We also may have misconstrued what it means to be humble a little bit too. Being Humble is associated with weak, shy, meek, and someone who cowers to others.

Someone who is so unsure of themselves or their beliefs that they keep them to themselves and are too insecure to tell everyone they meet their opinion on everything. Is there a way to be both? Can a confident person also be a humble person? In order to answer that question we must dissect what it means to be truly confident, and how does “artificial confidence” come about.

“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself the whole world accepts him or her”

~Lao Tzu

 

There are many reasons a person may develop artificial/arrogant confidence. One may be cognitive dissonance, which means they may be holding on to a belief so tightly that when evidence is presented that contradicts this belief they may be completely unwilling to look at the new evidence. They may have become so attached to this belief that it has become a part of their sense of self.

Since they are completely attached to who they think they are it may be a painful experience for them to open their mind up and see things from a different perspective. The actual energy behind holding on to a belief so tightly that you are unwilling to let it go is fear.

The human ego is always afraid to be found out, so to speak, therefore, any threat of someone or something coming along and debunking one of its belief attachments may bring about a negative emotional reaction such as anger. Anytime anger is involved we can be assured that fear is the culprit behind it.

Genuine confidence doesn’t need to get angry because there is no part that fears being wrong or that others aren’t believing them. Another reason a person may develop artificial confidence is because they are insecure.

An insecure person may not truly believe in their theory or themselves so they feel if they can convince others that they are absolutely the right one they can at the same time convince themselves.

This is often done in an aggressive manner, because they are attached to the outcome of people believing them. Again, the fear behind not achieving the outcome they desire is causing them to act in a rude or aggressive manner. Genuine confidence can remain quiet, kind and humble because there is no underlying fear that needs other people to believe exactly what they are saying.

Genuine confidence is humble. It kind of realizes that most people are operating from their own level of understanding and trying to convince them that they are “stupid” or “wrong” usually won’t work anyway. The humble part of them realizes that LIVING and BEING their truth is always more effective than incessant talking or convincing ever will be.

Also, humble confidence isn’t attached to being right. In fact, it happily welcomes new ideas and beliefs because it knows that only when it opens itself up to seeing things from all perspectives is it able to perhaps learn something new.

“The time which people spend in convincing others, even half of this time if they spend on themselves, they can achieve a lot in life.”

~Arvind Katoch

 

In order to maintain humble confidence about our beliefs we must do two things. One is question ourselves….constantly. You may ask yourself, “Do I know absolutely without a doubt that this belief is true?” Meaning, “Did I see it with my own eyes”- normally the answer to this will be no.

So not to say that you won’t have some beliefs about things that involve situations that you weren’t physically there, but it just means that you always maintain a healthy sense of doubt about your beliefs.

This doesn’t mean that you’re unsure of yourself, it means you are wise, because it means you are open to hearing new evidence. Or you can ask yourself, “Is it possible that I am so attached to this belief that it has become a part of who I think I am?” Or even, “Does it matter if the person I am telling about my belief believes me or not? In this present moment does the fact that they are convinced or not convinced change anything in this exact moment in time?”

“Confidence is silent.

Insecurity is loud.”

~Unknown

 

You may find that most of the time, the answer to that is “no.” The other thing a person can do in order to remain humbly confident in their beliefs is to realize that every person they come in contact with can only understand things from their own level of understanding. Which means they are only operating from their own personal programming which may or may not be completely different than yours.

So yes, there may be times when you tell someone something and you enlighten them to something that they hadn’t thought of before but there will also be times where any effort to convince will fall on deaf ears.

When you are unattached to the outcome, you will be fine with either without getting frustrated or angered. Once we realize that our “truth” may not be someone else’s “truth” we can completely relax into interpersonal relationships and take every interaction with a human being as a potential learning experience, which will allow us to always be learning and growing as a person.

 

~via FractalEnlightenment.com