ALETHEIA LUNA: “12 Signs It’s Time to Move On and Burn All Bridges”

“It is not selfish to burn bridges when the person on the other end is feeding off your soul. In fact, deliberately moving toxic people from your life is a sign of self-love and respect for your personal needs.”

~Aletheia Luna

 

There often comes a point where we outgrow the people in our lives, develop different interests, and even in the best circumstances, lose people due to the natural cycle of life and death.

But when is the right time to move on from a relationship that feels doomed? Should we wait it out … should we try to pick up the broken pieces, and if so, for how long? At what point is it acceptable to walk away and never look back?

Burning bridges is a tough and serious decision to make. When we “burn bridges” we are essentially cutting off all contact with a person and making it impossible to return. If you’re struggling with this decision, there are a few things you might like to know first.

When Burning Bridges is the Wrong Choice

Cutting people off is not always the right decision. As much as we would like to quickly dispose of a person who is causing us trouble, sometimes the problem originates more within us than them.

For instance, burning bridges might be the wrong choice if you’re wanting to dispose of a person due to fear of intimacy and the unwillingness to be vulnerable. Both of these problems will not be solved by cutting a person off, and in fact, making such a decision will exacerbate and deepen your insecurities. If you’re uncomfortable with sharing your entire self with another person in a friendship or relationship, the problem obviously isn’t the other person, but your own internal fears and traumas. In order to work through this problem, be honest with yourself and the person in your life. Explain how you feel. If they truly love you, they will understand and will stop trying to make you open up.

Another example of a wrong time to move on would be in the heat of anger (or another strong emotional reaction). When we are consumed by emotions our logic is overridden and we cannot think or see clearly. So many poor and even fatal decisions are made when our amygdala has gone haywire (bring to mind all the crimes of passion you hear on the news). In order to prevent yourself from making a rash decision, force yourself to breathe in and out for a couple of minutes. Removing yourself from the person or situation also helps your mind and body to settle down.

The final example of a wrong time to move on is when a relationship changes and stops being fun and exciting all the time. So many people tend to mistakenly believe that there’s something “wrong” with their relationship as it matures and grows because it’s no longer filled with the same ecstasy experienced at the beginning. But the reality is that every relationship changes: you will not experience the same dizzy euphoria as you did when you first fell in love. But there will be new emotions to experience as you grow and change with your partner. It is normal to feel a bit of boredom every now and then, but this does not necessarily mean that you need to burn bridges and move on. Obviously, if you’re feeling constantly bored and unfulfilled then you should seriously reconsider your relationship. But don’t make the mistake of hopping from partner to partner in an attempt to find that one person who makes you feel euphoric 100% of the time. It just won’t happen.

If you need more guidance on how to improve your relationship, read my article How to Save a Relationship or Marriage. You might also like to read more about how to create a deep spiritual connection with your partner.

12 Signs It’s Time to Move On

So when is it the right time to move on?

At some point in our lives, we all need to make the heart-wrenching choice to sever contact with certain people. For some of us, that might mean burning bridges with our ex-partners or friends, and for others, this might mean cutting off contact with our parents, siblings or even our own children.

It is unrealistic — and even dangerous — to believe that all relationships can be repaired, no matter what has happened. We cannot change other people, no matter how hard we try. Yes, we might be able to influence them, but the choice to change comes from them, not us. We cannot force others to change. Therefore, sometimes we need to accept that it’s time to move on, let go, and open a new chapter of our lives because no matter what we do, a person will only change if they are interested in changing.

Letting go can even seem cruel to some people, especially if a strong emotional bond is present. But the reality is that we have to take care of ourselves as well. If a person is not a source of comfort or support in your life, then they hang around you like dead weight holding you back from self-fulfillment. It is not selfish to burn bridges when the person on the other end is feeding off your soul. In fact, deliberately moving toxic people from your life is a sign of self-love and respect for your personal needs.

Here are some major signs that it’s time to move on:

1. They don’t show interest in your thoughts, opinions or needs

Your relationship is very lopsided. Even when you try to express your thoughts and needs, you are met with a blank, uninterested wall. Life seems to revolve around the other person, and whenever you try to draw a conversation towards yourself, this person will immediately try to hog attention. In the past, you may have drawn attention to the fact that this person doesn’t show interest in your needs, but nothing changed and they made no effort to pay attention to you. This person has an “ME first, you second” attitude.

2. They emanate constant negativity

No matter what you do or say, the other person is always unhappy. This person might nitpick, whine, criticize, judge, and moan about you or other people all the time. Not only that, but you always seem to go away feeling miserable after spending time with this person. They are like a damp heavy blanket suffocating your soul.

3. They don’t encourage your freedom

A major red flag: if the other person is controlling and authoritative, back away slowly! If you feel trapped and unable to be your true self, it’s most definitely time to move on. Feeling trapped can also be subtle and passive, for example, a partner or parent who tries to keep you dependent on them so that they have power over you.

4. They twist the truth

You struggle to trust this person because they have lied to you so much in the past. Lying is not always active, it can also be passive, for example, withholding information or details that you needed to know. This person has repeatedly broken your trust and is not transparent with you.

5. They don’t prioritize your relationship

The other person doesn’t seem to value your relationship/friendship as much as you do. While you put in so much work to improve your relationship with them, the other person doesn’t seem to care at all. Even when you have asked them to uphold their side of the relationship, they still ended up prioritizing other things over you. For example, they might spend long nights out with their friends at the pub and return at 3am. Or they might forget dates, meetups or agreements and put work or other commitments above you. While busyness is a normal part of life, this person doesn’t seem to have time on their schedule for you at all.

6. They create constant drama

You feel exhausted having to deal with all of the problems and dramas surrounding this person. Even when something goes well for your friend/partner/family member, they quickly find something else to be unhappy about. You have a sense that this person thrives on drama and is empty without it. You’re tired of hearing detailed accounts of their fights, work dramas, relationship tragedies, righteous opinions, ad infinitum.

7. They feed off your energy

This person seems to be fuelled by your attention and emotional reactions. They might enjoy provoking you to elicit a response that makes them feel like they have power over you. You also feel very tired around them, and almost sucked into their gravitational pull. If you feel this way, you’ve likely got an energy vampire on your hands. While I don’t particularly like this term, it accurately describes people who enjoy leeching off our energy.

8. They’re relentlessly needy

You feel smothered by this other person and like you’re bound to them with a ball and chain. Not only do you have to take care of your needs, but you feel as though you have to take care of their needs as well. This person seems to constantly demand attention, pampering, affection, and favors from you. You’ve tried encouraging this person to stand on their own two feet, but they seem intent on clinging off you. This person seems to be incapable of being self-assured and constantly seeks approval from you.

9. They have physically hurt you

In moments of rage, your friend/partner/family member may have hit you or physically hurt you in some way. While they may have apologized, your trust and confidence around them have been broken. Physical abuse is a crystal clear sign that it’s time to move on and burn bridges, forever.

10. They make you want to hide your true self

You’ve tried being relaxed and open around this person, but you’ve been met with coldness, criticism or judgment. As a result, you may have resorted to hiding your true self and wearing a mask instead. Gradually, you may have even started to forget who you truly are, having become a shell of your former self instead. You feel sick of changing who you are for the other person.

11. They manipulate you

You chronically feel emotionally blackmailed or gaslighted by this person. Sometimes you even feel like you’re the abuser, when in fact, the other is just playing mind games with you.

12. They intentionally hold you back

On the surface it may appear that your friend, partner or family member has “the best intentions for you,” but really, they don’t. They are scared. They don’t want you to change. They don’t want you to reach your full potential, for that will make them feel left behind. They don’t want to see you happy, for that will reflect how unhappy they are. They don’t want you to take risks, for that will force them to reconsider their own life choices. As the old truism goes, “misery loves company.” Unhappy people want to be surrounded by other unhappy people because it gives them some sense of consolation. As a result, you might feel like you have to dim down your lights, blend in, and become a wallflower.

After reading this list:

After reading this list, please know that you don’t have to say “yes” to every sign. Even if you’re experiencing just one or two of these signs, you should seriously consider the possibility that it’s time to move on. While you don’t have to necessarily burn bridges, you might like to create space and distance and see how you feel.

Hopefully these signs can gently awaken you to the possibility that it’s time to open a new chapter of your life. And please know that feeling things like stress, shame, and grief are all normal reactions. Personally, when it was time for me to burn bridges I felt intense emotional and psychological turmoil for many months. In my case, I had to cut ties with my entire family in order to escape their oppressive fundamentalist religion. But to my surprise, I felt so free and liberated that all of the pain of going through separation was worth it.

I hope you can find the same kind of freedom. Your heart and soul are stronger than you may think.

 

About the author: Aletheia Luna is an influential spiritual writer whose work has changed the lives of thousands of people worldwide. After escaping the religious sect she was raised in, Luna experienced a profound existential crisis that led to her spiritual awakening. As a psychospiritual counselor, tarot reader, and professional writer, Luna’s mission is to help others become conscious of their entrapment and find joy, empowerment, and liberation in any circumstance.

 

~via LonerWolf.com

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MOMENTS WITH MILLIE: “Rise!”

“As you rise many people will disapprove. Rise anyway.”

~Mastin Kipp

 

I want you to read that meme over and over. I remember four years ago when I died in the ER and was returned to this world. I recognized that the moment I woke I was different. As days turned into months and months into years, I had to remove anyone (and anything) that disturbed my sensitivity. I could not be responsible for making the world happy, especially people who sucked the life out of me trying to find happiness. They are responsible for their own journey.

Not everyone will approve.

Not everyone will agree.

People judge from the place of their own perspective and experiences. It’s not for you to try and mold them. Let them judge. Just don’t allow them to break you.

So I stopped…I made it a point of truly disengaging from those whose addictions and toxic energy were hurting me.

I woke to find me. And every day afterwards I’ve had to continue setting boundaries. Some are easy. Others feel like I’m the worst human on earth.

And that’s part of this human thingy. I keep standing in my knowing.

Rise, darling. Keep standing for your truth, awareness, love and your life. Keep rising to all that is to come when you live through your authenticity, when you move through love.

Whether they approve or not…rise and acknowledge YOU!!!

I love YOU! ~m.a.p.

 

~viaMomentsWithMillie.me

ADEANA M. SLATER: “Moving Through The Illusions”

It is becoming apparent that more of humanity is beginning to awaken and question why things have been done the way they have been. This is one of the first stages in awareness, to begin to question the status quo and the societal norms/expectations. Individuals will get the heightened sense that “something” isn’t quite right and it’s not adding up. Out of nowhere, this passion arises from their heart and they feel a need and desire for change. This is exactly what is needed and where we are headed.

When enough of us come together with this desire for change and make the efforts to not only speak with intention, but to take action, these positive actions WILL speak for itself (“Actions speak louder than words”) and will move the energy further along in this way.

As awareness sets in, illusions will begin to naturally fall away. Exposure of wrong-doings and ill-intentions ARE surfacing. The truth will ALWAYS come to the surface eventually. And this “eventually” timeframe is happening NOW. This will bring challenges in and of itself for you, especially if you are one who is doing the questioning and seeing the truth as it is. For example, I recently witnessed one person excuse another’s belief as them just being a “conspiracy theorist.” This label can and will attempt to hush those who dare come forward to speak the truth. As if those speaking the truth are actually speaking out of fear-based ideas as opposed to facts. Do you see how it can be used against those who want to bring Light to the Darkness? To turn everything around on whomever dares to come forward? This label: “conspiracy theorist” can get attached to you, and the truth just laughed off as if it is all a joke.

You have to move yourself through this energy of humiliation in order to stand true and tall in who you are and claim your soul freedom. Once you are brave enough to move through the illusions of the degradation to be different and claim your Sovereignty, you never have to go through it again. Why? Because you will reach a point where you no longer care what others think of you. You begin to realize you have spent your entire life living for others instead of for yourself. You will strive towards autonomy and begin to love yourself more and more everyday. This self-love is exactly the energy you need, to finally see your self-worth and know that you are different and beautiful just as you are and especially as you change and grow. You begin to love and appreciate who you are from the inside-out and FINALLY decide to walk away from the fear-based programming, never desiring to look back and re-submerge yourself in those low dense energies again.

Consequently, there may be individuals who are actively in your life who have used manipulation and control “over you” and will sense that you have or are currently changing and they may feel very threatened by that. They may verbally attack you and attempt to bring you back down by ridicule or use shame and guilt as leverage for control. You will definitely know if these individuals are in your life and attempting to bring you down. It is best if you are able to remove yourself from them entirely. Send them Love/Light and continue to move yourself bravely forward. Save yourself from exhaustion by trying to revive these harmful bonds or relationships that are purposely falling away from your life.

The 3D reality of fear and restraints are behind you now as you are stepping onto your new path full of awe and wonderment. Don’t let the vastness of creation intimidate you. See it as a blessing of freedom for there are no limitations as to whom you desire to be and where you wish to go.

So Let it Be.

And So It Is.

Love and Blessings to YOU, 💕

~Adeana

 

~via In5D.com

FRACTAL ENLIGHTENMENT: “Spontaneity — Why It’s Better Than Having A Plan”

“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”

~Joseph Campbell

 

Be born, go to school, get a job, get married, have kids, have grandkids, get old, die. That’s the plan right? Well, so we think. Unfortunately so many get stuck in this cookie cutter idea of what life is supposed to look like, only to live in constant frustration and disappointment that their life looks nothing like the standardized version.

Life may drift them more and more off course, and they keep trying to control the helm by bringing it back to the life they think they should have, like the characters on TV.

Unfortunately much of their life is spent in the struggle trying to get back “on course”, or what they believe is “on course.” So much time is wasted in this struggle to no avail.

Only when a person just gives up, surrenders to the tides of their life are they able to see that their idea of how things were SUPPOSED to go was causing them a constant frustration because they were never actually enjoying anything about the present moment, or the way things WERE going.

Who says things have to go exactly like that? If things aren’t going exactly like the social norm does that means that things have gone “wrong”?

The fun and adventure lies in the spontaneity, in the suspense, in the uncertainty. Of course it’s fun to have goals and aspirations, things that we envision ourselves doing and ways that we can offer our gifts and talents to the world, but in order to become more open to possibilities and opportunities that are awaiting us, ones that we never expected were possible, the most important thing we need to do is stop planning our futures so rigidly. quote-life

We must allow ourselves to relinquish the need to have absolute control over every single situation, small or big. We must let something else take over, something that knows way more than we do….

“When I finally learned to let go of having to totally control everything around me and let my life unfold, I was stunned by the results. How could I have ever thought I could outsmart the Universe?”

~Geri Larkin

 

The problem with trying to control how every situation will go is that we cannot always see the bigger picture in every situation. We have no idea why we didn’t get the job we applied for, or why our partner decided to leave us, or why the car wouldn’t start on our way to work.

All the ego knows is that this situation was “bad”, we experienced some sense of sadness or pain, and because it does not desire to feel uncertain, or pain, sadness or vulnerability ever again, it must plan. It must control how everything in the future will go, so as to never feel out of control or open to chance ever again.

However, so much of our life is dependent upon things that we cannot control completely. The weather, traffic, how other people behave, whether or not we get the big promotion, who we meet and how we meet them, are all things that we cannot control 100% of the time.

But the question is, why would we want to? Having total control over every single situation is not only an exhausting endeavor for us but is also a stifling experience for the people in our lives. The result of this fear of losing control is that we limit the universe in being able to direct us to paths that we may not have ever thought of on our own.

As soon as an opportunity or possibility is presented to us that doesn’t fit into our box, or rather our plan of what our life is supposed to look like, we turn away from it and label it “bad idea”… bad idea because it’s not what we think life is supposed to look like.

But if we look at our life from a broader view, from the big picture perspective, and openly accept the fact that we didn’t get the job, or we were dumped by our partner, or our car breaking down made us late for an appointment, we may in fact realize a better job opening was coming along, a new healthier relationship was just around the corner, or our car breaking down prevented us from being involved in a huge accident on the highway.

So just because a situation is not what we WANTED to happen, or what we planned on happening does not necessarily mean that it was bad.

We can look at life in two different ways, one is that things don’t go as planned and that’s a bad thing, or we can look at it as if we live in a universe that always conspires for our greater good, so when something goes “wrong” or unplanned, we trust that it was for our greater good, always, even if we never see exactly why. The first option leaves us in constant resistance, and angry, bitter and stressed out constantly… and the second one leaves us grateful, accepting, and excited everyday about what that day may bring.

“At times the world may seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe that there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. And what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may in fact be the first steps of a journey”

 ~Lemony Snicket

 

If we envision anything for our future selves it should be that we are the best version of ourselves possible. We are healthy, and happy and doing something that we love to do and surrounded by people that love us. If we make the main focus health and happiness we leave ourselves open to all the many paths and roads and trails that one might take to achieve these goals, instead of getting too attached to exactly how we think life should happen.

Think of the universe like the navigational system in the car, we know the end destination (us being the best version of ourselves), but the HOW we get there is always up in the air.

We may take a million left turns, take the scenic route or we may take the shortest route possible, only to find a happier more fulfilling destination mid-way through. The one thing that we can depend on though is that the universe never lets us get completely off course.

There is never too many “wrong turns” that the intelligence of the universe cannot re-route us back to being on track to our final destination. In fact, there is no “wrong” turns at all, there are only routes that allowed us to enjoy the view a little longer and take things a little slower, or routes that got us to our destination very quickly. Either way, we realize the fun was in the unexpectedness of the adventure.

 

~via FractalEnlightenment.com

OPENHAND: “The True Nature Of The Spirit Warrior… 22 Ways To Tell If You Are A Spirit Warrior”

What the world needs most of all right now, is for the new breed of ‘Spirit Warriors’ to step up and step out. It needs people to dive into center stream; to take a risk, that we can truly change the worldwide reality by having the courage to change our own.

It is said that madness is doing the same thing day in day out and yet expecting different results. Well, there’s plenty of madness out there right now! So where do you stand?

Are you one of the New Spirit Warriors? Here’s how to tell…

22 Ways To Tell If You Are A Spirit Warrior:

1. A Spirit Warrior recognizes that they, and only they, create their reality. In other words, they fearlessly embrace every person, situation and circumstance that they have drawn, as their own manifestation. And they’re prepared to deal with that.

2. A Spirit Warrior realizes that ‘fearlessness’ is not to be without fear; rather it is to be continually confronting and breaking through fear in the moment it arises.

3. A Spirit Warrior does not blame or project at others. Not even the crazy situation we now witness in the world. She accepts the outer mirror created by group karma, and works tirelessly to unravel it (understanding karma).

4. A Spirit Warrior doesn’t complain or constantly try to fix the ‘pain’. They recognize that the pain is the place where the light enters, and that transcendence of the physical is the path to immortality.

5. A Spirit Warrior is not afraid to let go of a creation or manifestation once it has served its purpose. Which could mean moving on from a de-energising relationship, job or location. Even when the path forwards is uncertain, they dive all in.

6. A Spirit Warrior knows the difference between surrender and giving up. Surrender is aligning with the truth that they can feel unfolding, whereas giving up is being wishy washy, and too easily accepting of ‘anything goes’.

7. A Spirit Warrior knows the difference between judgment and discernment. It’s vitally important to call reality the way it is, in order to navigate the path between the obstacles in life. But to judge another or a particular circumstance as always being the same, is to ‘condemn’ it, and then form a fixed relationship to it.

8. A Spirit Warrior is careful with the word ‘never’, so as not to condemn a particular situation to a particular fate. He is aware that ‘always’ may change.

9. A Spirit Warrior is not afraid to go against the herd, even at the risk of getting trampled by it.

10. A Spirit Warrior is not afraid to suffer, or to die, for a cause greater than themselves.

11. A Spirit Warrior knows that death is merely the passage into a new life. And therefore fearlessly lives the life they now have.

12. A Spirit Warrior is profoundly honest with themselves.

13. A Spirit Warrior is not afraid of the truth.

14. A Spirit Warrior fearlessly expresses themselves, no matter what the outcome. Yes, diplomacy and tact are important to them too, but that doesn’t mean compromising your own soul. It’s all about ‘the dance’, finding the most accessible and appropriate way to express your truth.

15. A Spirit Warrior is selfless, yet not afraid to express the self. The self is far from being some bland, colorless or wishy washy existence. It is vibrant, alive, full of animation, charisma, color and expression.

16. A Spirit Warrior is forgiving of himself and others. She recognizes that all life’s circumstances are created for learning purposes: that there is no such thing as evil intent. All create according to the reality model that has been built up inside. Forgiveness helps unravel the distortions that people hold onto.

17. A Spirit Warrior understands the difference between non-efforting and commitment to a cause. Yes, it is essential to let go of struggle and attachment. But nevertheless, it is going to take commitment, patience and perseverance to bring light through the darkness.

18. A Spirit Warrior knows when to put something down, and when to pick something up.

19. A Spirit Warrior lives day to day, moment by moment from their intuition. They’re constantly tuning within and asking “what would you have me do now?” and “how would you have me do it?”

20. A Spirit Warrior is constantly witnessing the objectivity of synchronicity, allowing it to reveal what’s really going on in the moment, not accepting the filter the ego might be placing on it.

21. A Spirit Warrior allows others to make their own mistakes and walk their own path. He may lend support, but doesn’t disempower by taking ownership of their issue.

22. A Spirit Warrior truly understands the nature of love: overcoming that which separates oneself from other sentient life, and instead compassionately embracing that which unites all.

The Spirit Warriors are here!

There’s a new era of Spirit Warriors emerging. These spiritual warriors are not afraid to feel their fear. They have the courage to be vulnerable through the deepest challenges and to be profoundly honest with themselves. They are committed with every fibre of their being to unravel the layers that keep them bound to the lower paradigm, no matter what it takes! They come from all walks of life, of all ages, joining hands, finding a common thread of beingness and are hiding NO MORE!

The question is… are you one of them?

 

~via SoulTravelRules.com