Most of us have seen “The Secret”. We’ve probably heard that “you become what you think about most” and “thoughts become things.” We’ve devoted ourselves to the teachings of Abraham Hicks and Jack Canfield and Michael Beckwith. We’ve all bought into “the power of positive thinking” and “don’t be negative.”
BUT HERE’S THE COLD HARD TRUTH.
Everybody wants the sunshine — nobody wants pain. You can’t have a rainbow without any rain.
True spiritual growth isn’t about ignoring all negative thoughts and feelings and beliefs. The only true way out is THROUGH it. You can only run from your soul for so long, but old gremlins from the past do pop back up, and the sooner we deal with it, the more we free our spirit. The Law of Attraction is actually more subjective then it is objective. It’s a very personal, rather than impersonal journey. The experience varies from person to person. We’ve all had a bad day where something did not go our way and we want to vent, but the moment we try to vent, our best friend goes, “Just be positive and forget all that garbage.”
Another example is a man who is going through a divorce and he tries to explain how he is feeling to his friends, but his friends just convince him to suck it up, go to the bar, and have a drink. This is emotional invalidation. Temporary escapes only keep you satisfied for a short while — perhaps just a few hours. It doesn’t erase the problem. Just like me throwing my fist at the wall to relieve my anger, just helps me feel a sense of power for a little while only. It doesn’t solve the problem. Not that there is anything wrong with taking a break from the situation so that our energy is recharged, but that does not mean throwing the baby out with the bathwater altogether.
We have confused our physiological and ego-based emotions with our soul emotions. They are not the same thing. Our carnal desires represent only temporary satisfaction. Yes, we have physical needs that are important, but we also have emotional needs. Our true emotions come from our soul. Our soul sends us messages through some of our most hidden feelings that we try to conceal from others. We hurt our spirits when we don’t listen to our souls, when we turn away from our feelings, and when we try to run from them. This manifests in the physical world too, in our relationships, our energy levels, and our physical health.
So How in the World does this all tie in to the Law of Attraction?
The law of attraction is not just about eating a sandwich because it makes you feel less hungry physically. It’s not about sleeping because you’re tired. Although those methods do work temporarily to make you feel better, they aren’t the answer to deeper problems.
The law of attraction is tied into our CHOICES we make with our feelings and our BELIEFS about ourselves. When we believe we do not have a right to express our feelings like disappointment, jealousy, depression, insignificance, hurt, betrayal, excitement, joy, we turn away from our true-selves (our souls), and we damage our self-esteem and our spirit. We are indirectly telling ourselves “Our feelings do not matter.” Our lives reflect more seemingly proof that our feelings do not matter such as someone telling you they are too busy to hear you or spend time on you. Of course, our feelings are not us, but they are still a PART of us. They try to tell us something about what we want. We all have a need to know what we are feelings and be there for our feelings. That means ALLOWING OURSELVES TO FEEL HOW WE FEEL. Our feelings show us the way.
THERE IS NOTHING WORSE THAN LOW SELF-ESTEEM.
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU for feeling how you feel. You have EVERY right to feel how you feel. Speak your emotions out loud if you have to. Speak it to a trusted friend. Use statements like:
“I was hurt when _____________________________________.
We are not robots, we are all star stuff, made to shine. Why be silent? Why just be a slave to obligation? Dare to be expressive. We must face our darkness within us with a positive attitude until it is transformed into light.
We must be present with our negative emotions, without judging ourselves for having them. We do not have to ignore them and keep them buried deep within ourselves, neither do we have to act on them, but let them spill out at its convenience. Be present with them. Attacking others just escalates the problems. But communication and expression with someone we trust is a great way to feel relief.
We suffered low self-esteem growing up because often our emotions were invalided.
This is a form of emotional abuse. Our parents may have not been there for us when we were unhappy. Maybe they fought in front of us. Maybe they used fear to get what they wanted us to do. The hurt child inside us will not heal unless we are present with it and remind it we are still there for it.
Anything we resist, persists. This is a demonstration of the law of attraction. If you’re worried about getting into a fight with a parent or spouse and you’re desperately trying to avoid it, do not be surprised when conflict just spills out! Because that’s what you’re focused on! Invite arguments — it can actually make you stronger. But don’t play victim, don’t attack, and don’t suppress your emotions. EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS — you don’t have to bring the other person down. It doesn’t make you the weaker one.
It might feel awkward sharing your feelings with the other person, but that’s not your fault. We live in a society that has made an enemy out of expression.
Resisting is not always a physical action, it’s a mental and emotional, internal choice we make. Trying to RUN away from a negative thought will NOT help us to attract true joy in our lives. This is like babying ourselves to only eat lollipops when we are supposed to also eat our green veggies!
FACE your negative thoughts. Face your negative emotions. Sit with them. But don’t let your negative emotions convince you that you are negative. Don’t believe the negative thoughts to be true. Think of your darkness as the child within crying out for help. They are here to make you stronger. They are here to point to your overall need of self-esteem. When you have a negative thought, your self-esteem is threatened. When you feel fear as a result, that’s a sign from your soul, that it is time to ALTER a negative core belief that you have picked up about yourself throughout the course of your life. That means looking for proof that dispels the core belief or replacing it with another belief like “Actually I am lovable because I was told I did a great job the other day” or “I am wonderful. I helped this person heal.” Your soul always wants you to feel good about yourself. Your spirit thrives and is joyous and fulfilled when you align with your soul. Don’t drain your spirit — let it be milked and nourished by the soul.
So, this law of attraction is really about being true to the soul. It’s more than just “thoughts cause feelings” and “feelings cause thoughts.” It’s fundamentally about core beliefs we have not addressed. And they are always running around in our subconscious 24/7.
We can think positive thoughts all day long and repeat affirmations all day long, but if we have a core belief somewhere in the back of are minds that “We are not enough,” and “my feelings do not matter” then this will be an obstacle for us — it’s a contradiction to the statement —“I am wonderful.” Repeated subconscious beliefs rule us throughout our day- governing our self-esteem and lives. True Joy is self-love. When we do an action like beat someone up because we are angry, or punch the wall with our fists, that is not self-loving. Why? Because it indicates we have a core-belief that we are powerless and we falsely believe that the only way to feel a sense of power is to use our physical bodies instead of summoning power from within ourselves.
So what is stopping you from living your best life and attracting the most joy and satisfaction? Somewhere down the line, you have a core belief that is detrimental to your sense of self.
“If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you.
If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.”
Abu Huraira reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Wealth is not in having many possessions. Rather, true wealth is the richness of the soul.”
“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.”
No matter what any of the religious scriptures say or do not say or partially say or leave out, we know our awareness is in our own bodies. We have a choice to believe the beliefs about ourselves that cause us pain, and we have the choice to not believe it. Our minds may remember negative events. But we do not have to believe anything anyone tells us. We all come to this world, and we all die. But what we believe about ourselves is bigger than even our mental perceptions about life.
For example, I could watch a scary movie or ride a scary roller coaster, and although it may look like I am in danger to my physical senses, my belief tells me I am not in danger. It is just a ride. It helps to look at life like that — just a ride. Although we may believe it is real, at least we can choose not to believe the external world is an accurate reflection of who we really are. It’s not. The external world is only a partial mirror. It’s not the full reflection. Just because life might be bad around you, doesn’t mean you are bad. What you get in life is a portrayal of your thoughts and feelings. It’s only a fraction of the magnificence that lies within your soul. Your physical self is nothing compared to the beauty of your soul. When we realize wonderful our souls are, we feel good about ourselves. Our souls are so expressive and so patient. It always gives us a chance to connect with it and know it. And when we finally do know it, we can’t help but love ourselves.
That’s why true knowledge is internal knowledge. True Love is Knowing The Soul, the core of the true self.
“A sin is anything that goes against yourself.”
~Miguel Don Ruiz
The voice of the soul is peace. It peacefully sends us all of our emotions at all times, effortlessly. Even though we feel dramatic and hurt and our spirits feel drained, our soul is always at peace. The problem is we interpret the dark feelings our souls sends us as “bad,” when really they are an emotional guidance system to let us know we have a core belief that is detrimental to our self-worth. We all long to love ourselves. We are meant to love ourselves. And we deserve to love ourselves, eventually, anyway. Peace is quiet, yet it speaks the loudest in our minds about who we really are and what we really want.
“Nothing can dim the light that shines from within.”
About the author: Neda is a free-spirited writer, intuitive, empath, visionary, artist, and psychology student. She loves screenwriting, art, Rumi poetry, traveling, philosophy, and studying esoteric spirituality and religion. Her favorite spiritual author growing up was Deepak Chopra. She has dreamed of becoming a writer since she was ten. She currently offers life-enhancing advice free of charge. ~via In5D.com