Introversion

“Small talk with strangers is my kryptonite.”

~Stephanie

11 Things You Should Know About Introverts

1) We need to recharge alone

This right here is the cusp of the entire introvert vs. extrovert debate (if there is one, anyway) — Introverts need to be alone to recharge. We tend to get completely worn out by socializing. This is basically what it means to be an introvert.

2) We don’t hate being around people, but we probably hate crowds

I love being with people, but if you drop me into a large crowd I instantly feel like I’m alone and invisible. I try to avoid situations where I feel that way, so I may decline your open invitation to some random event. It doesn’t mean I don’t like to be around you, it just means I like to have more control over my surroundings.

3) We don’t mind silence

I can sit beside you in silence and not think we are having a bad time. This is especially true on road trips and can be a little confounding to true extroverts. For this reason, I especially like going to the movies where it is already considered rude to chat. Rule #1 for dealing with introverts — Don’t tell me I’m “too quiet.” I hate that. Sorry I’m making you uncomfortable, but you really don’t get to decide how much I have to talk.

4) Just because we are introverted doesn’t mean we are shy

Introvert and shy are actually two different things. Google it! In my case, I’m a shy introvert (the double whammy!).

5) We can turn on an extroverted personality when necessary, but it is especially draining

See #1 and #2. I have no problem getting up in front of a group of people and giving a talk. I don’t even get nervous by a question and answer period. But — here is the thing — I will need major recharge time afterwards and I won’t be able to keep up this extroverted illusion all day. I can turn it on to dazzle a crowd, but if you take me out for lunch afterwards, I’ll probably just listen to you talk. I am an excellent listener.

6) We aren’t judging you

See #3. Did I get quiet? Do I have a mean look on my face? I’m not judging you; I’m just wrapped up in my thoughts with my resting-face on. I might have even forgotten you were there. Sorry, just poke me. I didn’t do it on purpose.

7) We secretly love it when you cancel plans

I like being with you, but finding out I suddenly don’t need to be “on” and it wasn’t actually me that backed out? — priceless! Don’t worry if you have to cancel, I’m probably thrilled to be able to stay in my pajamas.

8) We can get very wrapped up in our own thoughts

My inner monologue is epic. When you have a strong monologue constantly running in the background, it is pretty easy to settle-in and listen for a while. I have to work through things in my head before I proceed, so I usually need a few minutes. When I’m ready to move forward though, I am 100% on top of it!

9) We can be pretty bad at connecting

You know when you have had a really bad day and you just want to call up a friend and chat? Yeah, I’m bad at that. I tend to wait for extroverts to reach out and include me, so when the time comes that I need support, I can be a bit lost.

10) We don’t like to hang around

That time after an event or meeting ends and stragglers hang around to talk — yeah, I know this is the perfect time to make more plans, connect with new people, and get involved with future projects, but I really really really hate this. I’m probably already checking my phone in my car before you have even picked up your purse. Small talk with strangers is my kryptonite.

11) We have strong opinions

Just because I have difficultly sharing them sometimes doesn’t mean I don’t have opinions. Give me an extra minute to compose my thoughts and I will continue to push myself to speak up sooner. It is a give and take here.

BMSS Addendum by Gregg Prescott:

BMSS Addendum: On #2, we really don’t hate people or crowds… it’s just that most of us are empaths and we absorb everyone’s energies so it’s a lot easier staying away from crowds than being immersed in them. For me, if I were to go to some gala event, you would most likely find me near the outer wall of the room watching everyone and saying very little. Some would call this “antisocial” but as an introvert I know that it’s something that’s misunderstood by those who aren’t introverted.

If you’re an introvert (which is only about 25% of the population), don’t change yourself to appease anyone else. Just keep being YOU!

~ Gregg

~via BodyMindSoulSpirit.com

I’m a recluse as much as the next guy… At least, that’s what I thought.

After a recent move to a city that welcomed one too many nights out and one too many clubs to name, I came to the harsh realization that my aversion to nights out and the company of others was not normal and I was coming off as, well, rude.

I thought there was nothing wrong with choosing to spend Friday night in the company of myself and my empty apartment.

I thought it was okay to enjoy walking alone more than with a friend. I thought it was healthy to relish in all those moments of solitude.

To people trying to be my friend, or at least use me as a pawn in their game of nights out, I was the antithesis of everything they wanted.

I tried to make myself go out more, push myself to spend Friday nights in the company of others and try to enjoy all that mindless chit chat that came with money spent on too many drinks.

Soon, I began to hate myself and those around me. I started worrying about insignificant nonsense that shouldn’t bother me.

And after one too many nights spent around everyone but myself, I decided that enough was enough and I would spend as much time alone as I ******* please.

I like my company, even if it’s just a little too much, because there’s something beautiful about being at peace with yourself. There’s something comforting about knowing I can come home to myself every night and love it.

There should be more respect for people who can relish in themselves. There should be more admiration for those who aren’t scared of being alone.

There should be some nice words about the loners and the introverts who are content with themselves and don’t need anyone to feel better.

Because loving your alone time is many times a lot healthier than hating it. Those who bask in their own company are the ones with significantly fewer worries than those who need to be around people to fill that void.

The loners, introverts and asocial people of the world are the ones spending their time creating and growing from themselves, rather than worrying about what everyone else is thinking.

They never worry about how they come off

People who like to be alone are more secure than those who are so good at showing face. They are the ones who are never second guessing their actions or working on their appearance.

They don’t care what people think of them because they, themselves, are their harshest critics.

They never worry about what they just said

The only times people who like their alone time are going out is with people who deserve their shared time. They don’t spend it with people who will judge them or people they worry about taking what they said the wrong way.

They don’t spend hours lying in their beds thinking about what they said or didn’t say back there. They are confident around the people they choose to talk to.

They never worry about acting like they have something to prove

People who enjoy their own company are not the types to put on airs. They never have to act like they have something to prove because they never have anyone to prove anything to.

When you meet them, you will see they are completely themselves, because that’s who matters to them. If you don’t like them, that’s just one fewer person they need to worry about hanging out with.

They’re never worried about doing things they don’t want to do

They don’t sit in bed wishing they didn’t have to go to a party where they hate most of the people just so they won’t spend Saturday night stuck with their own thoughts.

They never replace alone time with empty interactions. Their solitude is never rationalized or bargained for by trivial moments with undeserving people.

They’re never worried about ending up alone

They don’t have that irrational fear of never finding someone. If anything, they fear they will never understand how to share their alone time.

They don’t date people just for the company or settle for unfulfilled love just so they won’t end up alone.

They never worry about finding something to say

Because they’re not constantly putting themselves around others, they’re not constantly searching for new topics and talking points.

They know who they are and what they like and they don’t have to pretend to be interested in things just to keep the conversation going.

They never worry about missing out on something

They never have fear of missing out because there’s no place they’d rather be than with themselves. They don’t find it a wasted evening when they don’t go out.

In fact, they see it as the opposite. In our hectic schedules, getting a night to ourselves is easier said than done.

They never worry about being single

They search for meaning in themselves and take pride in that relationship. They don’t need to feel validated by the significant others they’re supposed to have.

They make sure they are completely in love with themselves before they worry about finding someone else to love.

They never worry about needing time to think

They spend their alone time exploring all the unexamined spaces of their mind. They don’t go to parties or friends’ houses wishing they could just have a moment to think, alone.

They are constantly thinking and constantly wondering. They are never without moments to ponder those questions that need time.

They never worry about having to lie or exaggerate

Their lives are complete by themselves. They don’t have to name drop or worry about being cool enough around the people they’re with because they don’t care about impressing current company or making new acquaintances.

They aren’t about collecting friends or racking up phone numbers. They know who they are and there’s no need to exaggerate about that.

~via EliteDaily

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STEPHANIE: “11 Things You Should Know About Introverts”