MATEO SOL: “12 Signs You’ve Lost Your Authenticity and Are ‘Selling Out'”

Authenticity is a big buzzword these days.

“Be more authentic,” “honor your authenticity,” “find your authentic self” — we hear these phrases scattered all over the internet and spoken about everywhere.

But what does being authentic mean? And most importantly, how can we tell when we’re being inauthentic — also known as “selling out”?

What is Authenticity?

Authenticity is the state of simply being yourself, listening to who you really are, and making decisions that align with your beliefs and values. Authenticity at its core is about deeply accepting all that is ‘you’ and honoring it above ALL else.

What is Inauthenticity (i.e. Selling Out)?

Inauthenticity, on the other hand, is about placing external things above your genuine values, needs, dreams, and artistic vision. When we ‘sell ourselves out’ we are essentially placing all of the most important parts of ourselves up for auction. Instead of making decisions based on our genuine beliefs, values, and personal style, we make decisions based on how much money, attention, fame, or acceptance we will gain from other people.

Examples of Authenticity vs. Inauthenticity

Sometimes reading examples helps to flesh out abstract concepts like authenticity. Here are a few examples taken from real life:

An artist has been contacted by a large publishing agency. They would like to mass produce her art but on the one condition that she change the titles and descriptions. Deep down, the artist knows that the titles and descriptions of her art are intrinsic to her work. She refuses the publishing agencies offer. She has made an authentic choice.

A father sees how gifted at writing his teenage son is. But instead of encouraging his son to pursue a career in writing, the father pressures his son to study business and accounting because it is the “safe” choice. The son then dutifully studies business and accounting in university. Both father and son have made inauthentic decisions.

A life coach who specializes in online mentoring wants to grow her business. In order to get more clients, she focuses solely on what is trendy and popular and writes/talks about those topics. She begins to lose touch with her original vision. She has become inauthentic.

A company is pressured by investors and shareholders to change its philosophy in order to be more “hip,” appeal to the new generation and make more profit. The company refuses to compromise their philosophy. They have made an authentic decision.

12 Signs You’ve Lost Your Authenticity and Are Selling Out

We are not perfect people. Perfection is an illusion. Therefore, it is guaranteed that at some point in your life, you will make an inauthentic decision that compromises your values, vision, or beliefs. It’s just part of being human!

Although we can’t be perfect, we can strive to be more conscious. Self-awareness and honesty are the two key qualities we need to prevent ourselves from slipping into bad choices.

If you’re concerned that you might be “selling out,” read the signs below. They will help to either confirm or challenge your feelings:

  • Your top priority is making bucket loads of money

  • You’re obsessed with getting new followers, fans or subscribers (e.g. on social media)

  • You let others make decisions for you

  • You let others dictate who you are + who you ‘should’ be

  • You follow the crowd and do what everyone else is doing

  • You always follow trends even if they don’t make sense to you

  • You reveal only what makes you look good

  • You copy other people and their style/lifestyle

  • You ignore your gut feelings and intuition

  • You wear a mask around others
    You’re scared to be vulnerable and express your true feelings, thoughts, or values (which may be unpopular)

  • You make decisions based on how much attention, fame, money or acceptance you’ll receive rather than your genuine beliefs, values, or vision

Take a few thoughtful moments to make a serious assessment of the list above. Evaluate each point with an honest heart.

How many can you relate to?

How to Stop Selling Out

 

“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.”

~B. Brown

 

I want to make a clear distinction here. There is a difference between selling yourself and selling out.

Selling yourself, in business and career fields, is about highlighting your genuine strengths and gifts, and offering those to the world. Selling out, on the other hand, is about compromising your personal integrity and letting external things drive you instead of internal qualities.

Also, not everyone has the liberty of making authentic decisions — but I want to emphasize that these situations are literally survival situations. For example, if a small business owner from an impoverished country was approached by a wealthy businessman who wanted to invest in and change his company, do you think it would be smart to decline? In certain environments and situations, making choices that go against our creative vision is essential in order to survive. But if you’re blessed to live in more fortunate circumstances where you’re not literally faced with starvation or anything else equally serious, then making authentic decisions is an intelligent way to live life.

Why is being authentic intelligent? Because you are listening to your heart and nurturing your soul. Money, fame, adoration, and approval from others will quench your ego’s need for safety and control — but that only lasts for so long. Soon, you will be left with a big, empty, gaping hole inside. The true joy, inner peace, and fulfillment come when you are living your truth and putting your essence out into the world.

So how do you let your essence — your passions, perspectives, and values — guide you? Here are some ideas; many of which I have discovered across my own authenticity journey:

1. Pay attention to how the decisions you make feel physically. Do you feel uncomfortable, heavy or dark sensations? Or does your body feel light and energized? Unlike the mind, the body cannot lie. Your body is the best lie detector out there. If you are about to make a decision that does not align with your values, your body will immediately feel and express that. Pay attention to warning signs such as heaviness in the heart area, tensed muscles, lightheadedness, cold shivers, and even physical cringing. Your physical warning signs will be unique to you (and can’t all be listed here), so search for them diligently.

2. Get your priorities straight. At the end of the day, what will TRULY fulfill you? Think about this question very carefully. Will you ultimately be happy with truckloads of followers, clients, money, or a lavish lifestyle, without feeling like you’ve stayed true to yourself? Money is important, don’t get me wrong. But how much money do you actually need in order to be happy and feel fulfilled? You might also like to explore what your main driving forces are: are you driven by power, success, fame, wealth or your individual and unique style, talents, passions, visions, and desires to make an impact? Focus on nailing down your main motivating force and ask yourself, “Is this healthy? Is this aligned with who I truly am?”

3. Explore inauthentic areas in your life. Intentionally carve out time and space to assess your life – that might even mean just sitting here as you’re reading this article and doing a bit of quiet reflecting. Think about areas in your life that you’re unhappy with. Have you lost your authentic voice in that area … or is the issue something else altogether? This process takes honesty. Write down every choice, commitment, and behavior that feels out of alignment with your deepest passions, perspectives, and values.

4. Make the hard choices. Once you’ve identified the inauthentic areas of your life, it’s time to act. You will need to carve out a plan — possibly multiple plans — to regain a sense of personal integrity. Ask yourself questions such as, “What must absolutely go and what can stay?” “What is true to me and what is false?” “What options do I have?” “What is the potential loss and gain in this situation?” “What is the best scenario and worst scenario?” “What is my plan A and plan B?” “What am I clinging to for dear life?” Use a tool like journaling to help you get out your thoughts, feelings, and plans in a coherent, organized, and structured way.

5. Integrate the experience with self-compassion. Once you have made the necessary change, it’s time for reflection. How did it feel to make such big (or small) changes? What parts of you felt threatened? What did you find it easy to let go of and difficult to surrender? How does it feel to walk your own genuine path? How can you avoid making inauthentic decisions in the future? These are all the kind of vital questions you’ll benefit from asking and exploring. Most importantly, integration is about accepting our humanness and all the frailty that comes along with it. Embrace your mistakes, forgive yourself, and let your hard-earned lessons make you stronger and wiser.

In this loud, confusing, and overwhelming world, it can be easy to slip into the role of selling out your integrity and authenticity to gain power, fame, or money. We are bombarded with messages from the media, social media, our colleagues, and even our friends and family members to be anything other than what we are. But in order to live fulfilled and soul-driven lives, we need to put a firm foot down. We need to learn when to say “no” and forcefully draw the line and protect our integrity.

I hope this article has inspired you to preserve your artistic vision, inner values, or deeply held passions. What makes life beautiful is how unique and varied it is. I hope you share your own unique flavor of authenticity with the world!

What is your experience with selling out? Do you have any tips to share surrounding integrity and authenticity?

Finally, I’ll leave you with a final quote. Tell me in the comments, do you agree or disagree with this statement below?

“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.”

~Andre Gide

 

~via WakeUp-World.com

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FRACTAL ENLIGHTENMENT: “5 Signs You are Complicating Your Life”

Life is complicated. Relationships are complicated. Friendships are complicated. Life choices are complicated. Or are they? Is it possible that our excessive need to complicate life is just merely giving us something to do?

In our utter and complete fear of being bored are we perhaps overcomplicating every single thing in our life for the mere fact that it just gives us something to think about incessantly, or to complain about to our friends, or to distract ourselves from ourselves?

Could it be that our fragile little egos claim they want happiness, and inner peace, and simplicity from life situations but deep down are deathly afraid of this because in order to have true happiness and simple joy and uncomplicated relationships with others would mean the death of a majority of the jibber-jabber mind chatter that our ego spews out all day long?

Without over-thinking, worrying, complaining, and complicating everything to the point that we overanalyze every single situation the ego would lose 90% of its hold on us.

Our true self thrives in simplicity, in fact it is simplicity. It knows that anything outside of simplicity is merely our ego or false self begging for our attention.

As long as it has our attention we won’t pay attention to what is real and true… which is that we don’t need to spend so much time thinking about how we can go about achieving happiness. We already are happiness. We don’t need to spend all our time trying to get love from another person, we already are love.

As long as the ego can overcomplicate every situation to the point that we don’t see that all is well and perfect, it has already won. But the reality of the situation is, it doesn’t have to be this way.

As Confucius said, “Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.”

Here are five ways you may be making your life more complicated than it needs to be:

1) You live in your head too much

Our minds are constantly trying to make sense of everything. They are going over every single “what if?”, “why did they do that?”, “what does this all mean?” so much so that they forget that all of life is happening in the present moment.

Literally only this present moment exists. So mulling over past conversations, or stressing about future events literally just drives us mad. We spend hours playing out scenarios in our head that have never happened and may or may not ever happen. We overthink everything that we are completely disconnected from what is real and the beauty of experiencing the present moment when it actually happens… in the present moment.

2) You want to make everyone happy all the time

Trying to please everyone might work every once in a while, but most of the time it will be an impossible feat. In order to please one person, it is inevitable that you will upset another person to some extent.

There will be times when everyone in your life is going to have their own opinion on how you should live yours, so trying to satisfy them all would be undoable. How about you just do what makes you happy?

Yes some people will have something to say, or may be disappointed, but this is your life right? Once people in your life catch on that you have made yourself your first priority, they will be less inclined to ask you to go out of your way just to please them.

Also, they won’t be so shocked when you tell them “no” instead of desperately trying to prevent them from being upset by just doing exactly what they tell you to.

3) You believe your perception of life is the absolute truth

Here’s a secret: Your perception does not equal truth, it only means just that… YOUR perception. So the cashier at the store isn’t necessarily a rude witch, just because you perceived her that way. Did it occur to you that maybe she is dealing with a problem in her personal life? And the girl/guy you went on a date with isn’t necessarily an insensitive jerk.

Maybe they’ve had a really difficult childhood and they don’t know how to open up to people very easily. Regardless of the situation, we must realize that there are always two sides to every coin.

When we stop convincing ourselves and others that we know exactly what is going on in other people’s heads and why they act the way they do, we stop wasting so much time judging, complaining and criticizing others.

We simply see things and people as they are, without imposing our own little story on them which may or may not be anywhere near the actual truth.

4) You don’t trust that there is a higher intelligence at work

Whether you call it the universe, or God, or Source, or the all that is, there is a force that is working behind the scenes in every single aspect of our lives. There is never a moment that we are separate from its presence because in all actuality we come from it, meaning we ARE it, just a tiny little slice of it.

Our feeble little minds can’t comprehend this, so because of that we try to make our own plans and agendas on how things in our life will go. News flash: things rarely go the way we thought they would, right?

This is because the higher intelligence knows what’s best for us, even though we are convinced we know. The higher intelligence sees a bigger picture, it knows the reason your car wouldn’t start today was because there was going to be huge collision on the highway right when you would have been driving on it.

Accept and surrender to whatever it brings to you or brings you to. It is always giving you exactly what you need in any given moment, your only assignment is to: TRUST

5) You’re not honest with yourself

This is a big one and actually a lot harder than it seems mainly because so many of us hide ourselves from ourselves so much that we don’t even know what the truth is anymore. Believe it or not a lot of people are comfortable in their misery. They have become so accustomed to it that the mere thought of not having something to be miserable about sounds like the scariest thing ever. So they fool themselves.
admire the simple beauty in life
They rationalize, justify, and make excuses of why they still need to work at the job that they feel sucks the soul out of them, or they need to continue to cling on to an addiction of whatever the object of their desire is.

As long as they can evade actually being honest with themselves, which 9 times out of 10 is that they are afraid, they can stay comfortably unhappy. This for some reason sounds better than simply admitting that whoever or whatever or wherever is never going to bring them any closer to the happiness they claim they want.

Life really doesn’t need to be hard. In fact, when we start to simplify it we realize that the simple life is where true joy and happiness actually lives. We take things and people at face value. We trust the process of life and don’t overanalyze everyone and everything. So, if you do anything, do this… keep it simple.

 

~via FractalEnlightenment.com

NEZEL PADAYHAG: “15 Ways To Open Your Heart And Find Unconditional Love”

“Infinite love is the only truth. Everything else is illusion.”

~David Icke

 

Love is full of wonders. It’s even said to move mountains. Regardless of your own definition of love, it has the power to make the hearts speak and establish a connection with others.

In the presence of infinite love, verbal communication is sometimes unnecessary. There is deeper communication that does not need words.

However, emotional blocks that hide in the masks of fear, pain, suffering, judgments, heartaches, illness, isolation, prevent us from loving infinitely and unconditionally.

We allow these things to limit our capability to love. Most people don’t know what love is, at its core, and how to express it. This can be possible by opening our hearts to love.

15 Ways To Open Your Heart:

1. Commune with nature.

In nature, there’s no chaos, no confusion, and no pain. There’s only peace, connectedness, and love.

The first step to opening your heart is to establish a deeper connection with Mother Earth and all its creatures.

It’s where you can ground yourself while letting go of negative vibes and being present in the moment.

2. Stay in the present moment.

Staying in the present moment allows you to focus on your breath, which aligns you to your higher self.

When you tune in to your higher self, you open your heart to the loving connection with yourself and everything that is.

Staying in the present moment is something that can make you feel better immediately, and it can also improve your outlook on things.

3. Be still.

Stillness connects you to your inner knowing. It invites you to be detached and be the observer of everything that’s going on within you and through you.

Meditation is one way of practicing stillness. As you meditate, you see your thoughts come and go.

Seeing that you are not your thoughts allows your heart to feel safe. This triggers your heart to open up and allows love to flow through you freely.

4. Do something you love doing.

When you do something that your heart lights up while doing time seems to pass without noticing. And you can do this thing the whole day without feeling tired at all.

This means that the activity comes straight from your heart, it’s something that your soul resonates with and it lights up your shine.

When you do activities that you really love doing your heart opens up. Your soul shines and you are energized.

5. Honor your breath.

Your breath is the life force that brings you to the present moment.

When you feel you’re out of alignment, pause and take deep breaths. Through the awareness of your breath, you will remember who you are, a person born out of love.

By remembering love, your heart finds its center.

6. Connect with your tribe.

Your tribe could be your group of friends or the people who see you as you are without judgment.

You vibrate at the same frequency, which makes you feel comfortable and safe.

Being with the people whose frequency resonates with yours allows you to be aligned with your eternal nature. This encourages your heart to open up and stay balanced.

7. Practice color therapy.

Color therapy works with the aid of visualization.

Finding a quiet place, make yourself comfortable and focus on your heart. Take a few deep breaths as you visualize the first color that comes to you.

Trust your inner guidance to bring you the color of your aura that needs harmony, balance, and self-healing.

8. Keep a journal.

A journal serves as something that helps you process thoughts and emotions. It’s a place where you can dump all your emotional baggage, confusions, pains.

By pouring on the pages things that no longer serve you, you come in fresh and with a clearer mind.

Once your mind is clear, it’s easier for you to open up and be aware of the love around you.

9. Be genuine.

In whatever circumstances you are in your life now, you’re playing a role in someone else’s life. Oftentimes, these people want you to play the role they expect you to play.

When playing that role is against your will, you’re being inauthentic with yourself.

You’re left with the choice of disappointing others by being your authentic self, or play with their dramas and be untrue to yourself. Just remember, true love can only flow when you’re being true to yourself.

10. Establish healthy boundaries.

Establishing healthy boundaries doesn’t mean closing your doors for other people. On the contrary, it is the first step in showing compassion to others.

When you set boundaries, you are being compassionate with yourself, giving it the necessities of life that it needs to stay healthy, balanced, and capable of love.

Once you’ve developed this compassion with yourself, it naturally extends to other people, allowing more love to flow.

11. Speak your own truth.

You don’t need to argue others to speak your own truth. Being your authentic self is one way of speaking your own truth.

Do the things that matter to you even if they appear unconventional. Never be afraid of being different.

When you’re confident of who you are despite the criticisms thrown at you, people will slowly show you respect and find inspiration in speaking their own truth too.

12. Send love to anyone who needs it.

When you send love, your focus is on love. The more you focus on love, the more it comes into your reality.

Send your loved ones love by imagining them to be standing in front of you. You can even send love to strangers or people who may have hurt you.

Sending love is the quickest way to heal and raise your vibrations.

13. Listen to your heart.

Self healing begins with listening to what your heart is telling you.

Set aside time for yourself and listen deeply to the messages your heart wants you to know.

Allow yourself to find safety in the quiet place of Surrender.

14. Follow your bliss.

“Follow what your heart is telling you” is a common phrase we hear. And there is truth in that.

When you follow your heart, you follow your bliss, the passion that points you to your life purpose. Whatever your passion in life is, love is at its core.

Thus, following your bliss is the shortest way to finding yourself and finding love.

15. Practice unconditional love.

Unconditional love is a sacred place where respect and honor resides. It’s loving people despite their weaknesses, shortcomings, and even indifference.

However, unconditional love is not a ticket that others can use to abuse you. You must have enough self-respect so that people will respect you in like manner.

Show unconditional love without being tolerant, without apologizing, and without seeking approval from anyone. Just love with all your heart. Give love to the world.

 

~via LifeCoachCode.com

INSPIRATION FOR THE DAY ~ Nickolas Patrick Joseph Schoff: “Quieting The Mind”

It’s time to quiet yourself

Not physically and not externally, but rather quieting yourself internally. Quiet the voice you identify as you. That voice; it is not you. It is only an aspect of you. An aspect of you that resides here in the third dimension. That same voice and the two lower voices come together to create what you think of as “your” voice. Its the same voices that analyze, criticize, hate, and doubt. Its time to finally shut those people up. You do not need it anymore. Simply let it wash away and silence it. Once you quiet that specific voice and let go of control within your head, you will be able to hear a myriad of other voices. Other voices that still sound like you but have distinct differences in the kind of messages they send. These higher voices or your “Higher Selves” can only be heard when all the chatter stops from the lower three.

It’s time to start looking inward

…instead of looking towards the external to tell us what we already know deep inside. I know we’ve all heard that “the answers you seek are inside of you”, but how many of us truly understand what that means? These higher voices I speak of are the “inner knower”. They reside at a higher vibration or dimension if you will. Dimensions being frequency bands or spectrum’s. And because these voices reside at such a high base frequency, they have access to the dimension of infinite knowing. Dimensions where all data exists. So if your questions or problems seemingly don’t have a solution in the 3D, then you look inward using meditation, extreme focus and thought control. Listen for the answer from within and make sure it resonates. You don’t want to be taking any answers from the voices that doubt and hate. Don’t hate these lower voices or reject them. Simply understand that these are their answers from their perspective.

Remember that when you look inward, right and wrong no longer apply nor need to be labels anymore. Everything has its purpose. Arguing over right and wrong is the same as arguing over left or right. They’re both the right direction; depending on your point of view. They’ll both lead to the same location but the real question is how fast will this direction take to get there? How many dead ends or accidents are involved in this route. Is it worth running out of gas and doubling back to the best route? Or do you just start on the best route because it’s what’s best for YOU? Everyone else benefits too but mostly importantly YOU. It’s important to look at this data from a non biased perspective. I like to use visualizations of floating above and out of my body when I’m making important decisions. It puts you in the shoes of no one, yet everyone. A very important, neutral position where human judgment and hate are hard to reach.

I wish I could say awakening is easy and I really wish I could give you all the answers, but you didn’t come here for that. You didn’t come here to just be told the answers. You came here to find them for yourself. To EXPERIENCE it yourself. You chose to come to challenge yourself and what you know as your reality. And no, no one ever promised you that this would be easy. Nothing good or worth it comes easily.

I’d like to share with you the “keys” that got me where I am today.

1. Never live in fear

I repeat, NEVER think or make your decisions based on fear. Fear of being alone, broke, or even death. A decision made out of fear results in greed, lust, gluttony, adultery, murder, etc. Sound familiar? Replace fear with love and gratitude. Fear needs an illusion to survive, remember that. Understand fear and anxiety for what they truly are, a simple illusion because you forgot you are infinite in life and love.

2. The Middle Ground:

Within the middle ground is the new direction. The trinity of two extremes. When in doubt, the middle ground or neutrality is usually the safe bet. But in order to find the middle ground, an understanding of both extremes is necessary. Moderation is different for everything which requires caution and observation to find. You do not need to always make mistakes to figure things out. The quiet observation of the world around you reveals everything.

3. The answer’s always right in front of your face:

So many times the revelation I sought was staring me in the face the entire time I was searching for it. What I realized is that the universe not only just works through the voices in your head, but also through the eternal. Events, conversations, Internet, music, numbers are all different ways the Universe can communicate to you. Stop and listen.

4. As above, so below; As below, so above

 

5. Stay calm in Chaos.

 

6. You can do ANYTHING. Literally.

Don’t limit yourself. Don’t try, just do. The biggest thing that prevents people from being able to control your body, feelings, emotions, and thoughts is that we’ve been bred and trained to believe that we can’t. So stop using the term I can’t all together. We are gods, not metaphorically but literally. We are in control of the most power piece of technology known to man. OUR BODY. It is but a tool for our consciousness. Removing this old programming is one of the hardest things you will have to do when ascending. But it’s so worth it once you develop that control. Self control is but a muscle.

7. Don’t be upset when things don’t happen the way you want.

Yes, this is contradictory to number 6, and thus is the nature of the universe. You can do anything but that doesn’t mean it’s right for you at this moment in time. If a door is closed, that just means that’s not the door for you. That’s closed door is not the path you have chosen. Though maybe you could’ve beat down the door and pry it open, but you’ll find everything you didn’t want behind it. Remember to see the big picture when bad things happen. If something bad happened, maybe if it didn’t, something even worse may have happened.

These are some of the things I wish I was told about Awakening.

Remember to stay in Love and Light. Be kind, be generous. Help those around you in need. Guide and provide wisdom when asked. And remember to still have fun and don’t take yourself or your past too seriously.

Meditation is simply listening to these voices.

Victory of the Light!

Nickolas Patrick Joseph Schoff

 

 

~via In5D.com