STEPHANIE LUCAS: “The Zen of Crying — 5 Reasons it Can Save the World”

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For being such a natural act, there are a lot of negative connotations associated with crying.  As children, our parents fuss at us for crying.  Women are called overly emotional, fragile, and that they are making a big deal over nothing.  Men, well, they get a raw deal all around and have it pounded heavily into their minds that crying is a sign of weakness, vulnerability, and that ‘real men’ don’t cry.

So, science and our common sense tells us that all that aforementioned societal programming is total BS, and that crying is not only healthy, but that it is a vital component of physical and emotional health.  Take that Mom and Dad!  While crying may not directly save the world, it certainly has the potential to preserve our personal wellbeing, foster positive relationships, and it could even save lives — and one of those lives just might save the world some day!

Get out your tissues, forget about programmed concepts like ego and pride, and let’s explore the Zen of crying…

1. Crying Frees You of Control

I’ve read a few studies purporting that the need to have more control is correlated to the incidence of more men ‘losing their minds’ and also why their life span is 5 years shorter, which I find kind of hard to believe.  Because if you live in the same world I do, you know darn well that today’s women have just as much tendency to be controlling as men — if not more so — under their own ego’s need to crash through the glass ceiling, and have their ‘roar’ heard.

What does this have to do with crying?  If crying isn’t the norm for you, just letting the act occur is freeing yourself of control — at least temporarily.  Crying aids in letting go of the ego as it frees pent up emotions that may be subconsciously feeding your need to be in control at all.  Repression sources discomforts and fears that drive control issues, and a few tears could very well begin a metamorphosis that helps one regain alignment with free will choicesHow in alignment are you? Click the previous link for a fun assessment quiz.

2. Bottom Out Stress with a Few Tears

Without a doubt, stress kills and can be a major player in our lives when we allow its presence to overcome the senses.  However, the Zen of crying, is that it works hand in hand with number 1 — it relieves stress — stress that is often (okay, mostly) sourced by one’s need for control whether it concerns work, home, relationships, a car accident, or what to cook for dinner.  If a few tears can reduce my chances for a stress-related death, I say bring ‘em on!

3. Crying Enhances Connections

Certainly, if you open the faucet in front of someone with programmed beliefs that crying is for pussies and pansies, well, it may not strengthen that bond.  However, if you crying in front of — better yet WITH — someone who’s compassionate and supportive, it can be a powerful experience.  Crying alone can also create a stronger bond with your own SELF, as your mind is totally in the NOW moment — disconnected with programs — giving you the opportunity to tap into the true essence of your spiritual being.

4. Grab a Handkerchief… and Move On

In a bad relationship?  Tired of your peers or boss making you feel like crap?  Did you best friend let you down?  Maybe you received some hard to handle news… whatever it may be… the Zen of crying can assist.  Remember, everything in our perception of reality is transient and it is constantly changing, so learning to cope is essential.  As you cry, try to acknowledge each tear, each of those deep, noisy breaths, and allow each sound free you one by one of the anguish you feel over the hurt.  As they purge from you, a sense of calm and peace follows.  Take those moments of being in the present moment to recognize that you are now free — and make a conscious choice to let go.

5. Profound Moments of Clarity

Maybe it’s only me, but I have finished many a good cry and had to most prolific “AHA” moments of my life.  Through tears of joy, pain, and even those ‘I have no idea why in the hell I’m crying moments’ some end with great clarity.  Whatever the situation that brought me to tears may be, I am left with a sense of purpose, with solutions, or with insights as to WHY I am having that particular experience.

Maybe it’s not only me… but I confess to being quite the cry baby that Janis Joplin once screamed for, and I am grateful!  I will cry just about any time the need overwhelms me, anywhere, and in front of most anyone… Sometimes it makes connections stronger, sometimes it scares people.  Sometimes people still call me overly emotional and try to take away my power by demeaning me, but I do know this… crying seems to raise vibrational frequencies and I ALWAYS FEEL BETTER AFTER A GOOD CRY!

 

 

 

 

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BRENDA BENTLEY: “Stuck in the Muck?”

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Sometimes, when I allow myself to sink deep into my emotions, fear crops up and I begin to feel ‘stuck in the muck’. This actually happened to me the other day, as I began to sink deeply into feelings of sadness and disappointment. Suddenly, I began to feel overwhelmed, unable to manage those deeper emotions. And, that is when fear stepped in –   fiercely driving me to what felt like quicksand.  I felt myself getting stuck into some rather old feelings and thought patterns.  For me, it goes something like this: “What’s the use, you’re really no good at managing these emotions, and they really are bigger than you, so why not just let them take over and give up.  You’ll never win.” 

At that point, as the ANTS (Automatic Negative Thoughts) started to crawl over and consume me, I panicked. I could sense how they were directly feeding into some deeply held core beliefs that I have been carrying inside of me that have to do with my worthiness.

For many of us, It’s often easier to sink back into old self-sabotaging behaviors and patterns because, sometimes, that mud feels more comfortable then learning new ways to master emotions.  The question for me at this point is, how can I do both – release the old thought patterns and core beliefs about myself AND raise my awareness while learning from this experience that is feeling quite negative?

Treasure Chest

I have discovered how to dig deeply into what I call my ‘treasure chest of tools or jewels’ to help me not just survive – but thrive. It’s a rather interesting treasure chest for each ‘jewel’ is a ‘tool’ that carries very high energies and frequencies allowing me to rise above the present situation so that I can see my path more clearly and find a new, healthier way of being. Some of the tools include crystals such as my ‘power pendant’ that I use to cleanse my auric field, protect me from negative energies, and keep me grounded.  Other tools include transformational coaching, NLP, EFT, working with other heart-centered individuals and re-membering to care for myself in all ways…. body, mind and spirit.  All of these tools help me view my situation from a higher perspective. But more about the treasure chest in later blogs.

Treasure Chest

Use it or Diffuse It

One jewel I have unearthed is the awareness that “I am not my thoughts”.  We have thoughts constantly running through our mind like the static on a radio station. When I hear this static, rather than become annoyed, I’ve learned how to tune in and say: “Self, is this thought helping me”? Based on my values and my journey, will this particular thought get me there or will it sideswipe me and take me off track and stuck in the muck?”.  When I get a ‘yes’, I then give myself permission to use it.  If it is a ‘no’,, I diffuse it so I can clearly see the truth.

I believe we are all gifted the opportunity to expand our conscious awareness, by fine tuning our free will, so that we can lift the muddy veils of illusion and confusion.  Be seeing things from a new and higher perspective, we open ourselves for healing to take place.

It is from this new perspective that we are able to rise above the Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTS), and gaining deeper clarity from our higher plane of consciousness.

Stay tuned for next week’s blog on more jewels from my treasure chest.  To learn more about the power of transformational coaching, I invite you to visit brendabentleycoaching.com

Blessings filled with love and light,

Brenda

 

 

 

Brenda Bentley is a Certified Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Spiritual Guide.  She is an avid collector of crystals, metaphysical tools and indigenous artwork and understands the energies around them.   She enjoys spending time in nature and working with others.  She offers her coaching services and customized CDs at www.brendabentleycoaching.com. Brenda Bentley Coaching is on:  Facebook | LinkedinTo learn more about coaching and to speak personally with Brenda, she is currently gifting a free 15-minute phone consultation.  She can be reached at: www.brendabentleycoaching.com or by email at: brenda@brendabentleycoaching.com.
This article was originally created and published by Brenda Bentley and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Brenda Bentley Coaching and Quantumstones.com. It may be re-posted freely intact with original links, proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.