MATEO SOL: “6 Signs You’re Experiencing Spiritual Maturity”

In our society, we have a very two dimensional understanding of maturity. Most people define it as an accumulation of experiences that come through the process of aging. But this isn’t really true.

The truth is that maturity has very little to do with our external experiences, and everything to do with our inner processing of the world. Yes, you might have experienced a lot of challenges and hardships in life, but if you weren’t present and aware of what was happening and the way in which it could help you to learn and grow, all of your experiences simply turned into moments where you unconsciously and emotionally reacted, not maturing at all.

While we have no control over aging, we do play a part in our ability to mature. Maturity is something that comes with conscious intent; something that evolves as we become more aware. It isn’t how “knowledgeable” or “smart” we are either, as knowledge is a product of past fears, mental patterns, memories, reactions and illusory concepts of the self.

Instead, true maturity is the state of being internally free enough to respond consciously, to be responsible enough to see the end result our thoughts, feelings and actions and how they will affect ourselves, others and the world at large.

Developing true maturity impacts so many different areas of our lives. Below I elaborate:

1. Maturity is Courageous

Maturity involves inner freedom and freedom is the result of having courage — the courage to think differently and behave differently.

In a society that considers “maturity” as the pursuit of careers, spouses, mortgages, children and materialism, it takes immense courage to truly be mature and to pursue a path with heart, reconnecting with our authentic selves.

2. Maturity is Honest

Many people avoid the truth of who they really are by piling on beliefs, labels and roles in their lives and clinging to them. However, the mature person, in their lifelong pursuit of self-discovery comes to see all the ways in which they deceive themselves into a false sense of being.

Common examples of spiritual immaturity involve avoiding the shadow elements of human nature, believing that we have transcended our “lower selves” and are in touch with our “higher selves” and confusing the fearful voices of our core wounds with our intuition.

3. Maturity is Loving

Most people’s idea of love is to love only to receive love. “I need you to love me so I can love you back” is not a very mature way of loving. To be mature means that you can love someone unconditionally, even if they don’t love you back because your own self-love is more than enough.

The spiritually mature person loves because the state of love expands their limited sense of self and reconnects them with the divine. They don’t just love to be reassured that they are lovable by another.

And if the other person is mature enough to love back the same way, the love becomes even more powerful.

You’ll often come across people that hold love as the highest possible spiritual form, which it is. But to experience that love you must first have attained the personal freedom and responsibility that is necessary to unconditionally love.

4. Maturity is Compassionate

Many religions will teach you to do “good” out of duty through pity and sympathy (both include feeling sorry for another because they are in a position inferiority to you), as opposed to empathy when you can feel and understand their pain as equals. Many are compassionate also out of the underlying stimulus and promise of “rewards” in the afterlife. However, this is completely destructive and a perfect example of immaturity.

The spiritually mature person doesn’t act from a place of dutifully needing “to do good” which is tainted with all kinds of unconscious desires such as self-gratification, power, prestige and control. To do any mature charitable act, our motivation must come from a place of inner peace and freedom.

5. Maturity is Forgiving

Resenting other people is addictive. It gives us a false sense of power by believing that we are protecting ourselves from getting hurt again, and we are on the “moral high ground.” It tricks us into an unhealthy sense of self-importance; “I’ll never forgive you. What you did to ME was UNFORGIVABLE.” It is yet another way in which our misery and self-pity make us happy.

True forgiveness, on the other hand, involves taking responsibility for ourselves and making the decision to no longer attempt to justify or attach ourselves to feelings of hatred and anger. We are aware enough to know how damaging such heavy feelings are to us and the quality of our lives.

6. Maturity is Accepting

Maturity involves knowing what you can change and accept that which you can’t. A person who lives in a constant state of conflict with the world is one who is enslaved to their own internal reactions. They are not free to respond.

I am often confronted by people who ask me how I can be so at peace with the state of affairs in the world; the injustice, the chaos, the inequality that saddens them to the point of depression or feeling like their sensitive natures don’t belong to this world.

This is closely tied with the forgiveness I mentioned above. I’m not OK with the injustice of the world, but I don’t resist it either. I’m aware enough to realize that change can never, and has never, come from an external system, but from an individual internal decision. To be able to help the collective maturity evolve I must first be able to accept and acknowledge the mess that we are in without resisting it and running away into my self-righteous ideals, without judging it and condemning others so as to make them defensive and lose receptivity to my message.

You can’t cure the turmoil of the world when you’re acting from a place of inner turmoil. The acceptance of yourself and acceptance of others is like learning how to flow in a stream without ending up like another solid pebble at the bottom of the river.

The spiritual awakening process of maturity is the beginning of the journey of inner blossoming; it is the beginning of the journey toward the fulfillment of your own potential. Coming to truly know that potential means knowing that you require equal part sun as you do soil in order to be grounded, but to dance in the wind as well.

 

~via WakeUp-World.com

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CONSCIOUS REMINDER: “Dealing With Never-Ending Change”

There are a lot of things in life that we can avoid and do without but change is not of them. There will always be change, in some form or the other, sneaking up on us.

That being said let us be real for a second and really talk about change. Is it really easy to accept it and adapt to whatever change comes our way?

The answer would be a resounding no. Most people do not do well with change and that is normal. If you are one of those people, breathe and keep reading because I am here with a few ways that might help you cope with change and get on with your life.

Be nice to yourself

We are often pretty unforgiving when it comes to our own selves and consider ourselves to be incompetent when we struggle but when we see someone close to us going through the same stuff, we are sympathetic and kind to them.

What we need to do in these situations is be the same to our own selves. As a human with emotions and feelings, understand that you are allowed to suffer, be sad and not be okay.

Allow yourself that time to find your footing again and be nice to yourself. A little self love can go a long way.

Observe things and pay attention

Life passes by us pretty fast when we are not paying attention but that is not the best way to live. Look around yourself and be informed about what is happening.

This way you become a better balanced individuals and balance always comes in handy. Everything around you at any given moment is meant to be there at that exact moment — these things need your attention.

Start journaling

Writing a journal every day or as much as possible is effective in many ways. It grants you a look into your innermost complexities and thoughts and helps you understand them better.

When you journal every day, you will find that you feel lighter than usual because you have let out everything that you needed to let out.

Breathe and know that you can do anything. Love yourself.

 

~via ConsciousReminder.com

MELISA WANDREI: “The Art of Pain — Why the Dark Times Make Life Beautiful”

“But fullness — that is deep in our soul. When we have that, it never leaves. Fullness encompasses everything. It’s what allows us to be fully human in all the raw, real ways.”

~Melisa Wandrei

 

Happiness, and the quest for it, is not all it’s cracked up to be. What I mean is that I think we’re making a mistake in reaching only for happiness, lightness, good days, and good moods.

I think that we’re restricting ourselves.

We’re fishing in an ocean of emotions, looking to only reel in one or two kinds, throwing back the ones we don’t want without even noticing how shockingly beautiful they can be in their strange, confusing way, much like the fascinatingly mysterious fish of the deep sea.

There was a long time in my life when I wanted happiness, so I avoided pain. I wanted to call myself brave, so I didn’t admit I was afraid.

In my search for joy, I pushed away the other emotions I didn’t like, thinking I’d be left with only happiness.

But something was still wrong. I wasn’t full. By denying myself the plethora of emotions and feelings we, as human beings, are supposed to experience, I was only connecting with myself on a surface level.

I spent many of my days trying to achieve a persistent state of peace and happiness, and I wasn’t being honest with myself.

How could I just be happy when my heart was broken in two? When my own dad wouldn’t talk to me anymore? When I was uncertain and afraid of the future and the path I decided to take.

Yet all I wanted was happiness, and I kept pushing away anything else I felt that wasn’t “good.”

It took me a while to realize that I didn’t feel like myself anymore. And that was because I wasn’t. I was pretending to be a flat placard of peace and joy, which isn’t very real, is it?

I realized I was robbing my soul of all the emotions and feelings and desires it should have.

Every feeling and all the changes we go through become precious when we realize they are all necessary, and they create contrasting beauty in our lives.

Would you rather be happy, or would you rather be full inside?

Happiness is fleeting. It flits in and out of our days like a bird, singing a beautiful song that we want to revel in all our life, for one moment while the sky is blue, not to be found on the days with dark clouds on the horizon, heavy winds, and gray skies.

But fullness — that is deep in our soul. When we have that, it never leaves. Fullness encompasses everything. It’s what allows us to be fully human in all the raw, real ways.

We need the contrasts that fullness, not just happiness, provides us. How else can we know true joy if we have never known sorrow? How can we feel and trust the deepest kind of love if we have never felt heartbreak?

In art, this is called chiaroscuro. It’s the play of light and dark within a picture, the idea that you need dark shading on one side in order to notice where the light is supposed to hit on the other.

I believe that art reflects life.

I think that by suppressing emotions we don’t like, such as fear and uncertainty and pain, we are taking away the shading of our own image. We’re denying ourselves the beautiful picture that needs the contrasts and shadows in order to be complete.

Sometimes, two seemingly conflicting emotions can fit together and coexist. Have you ever felt that? Maybe you have pain inside you that you suppressed, and suddenly another person finds a way to gently bring it to the surface.

That person and their kind eyes bring warmth to your heart, even while the pain is being laid bare.

Happiness can fill your chest and sadness can well in your eyes until they are entwined in a beautifully poignant harmony. This is chiaroscuro in its most desired form — the shadow contrasting with the brilliant light, creating a depth and fullness that couldn’t be reached any other way.

Don’t ever think that being so paralyzed by fear you don’t know how to take a step, or feeling angry and betrayed, or sobbing while your heart is in shreds, or feeling lonely or confused or uncertain or whatever you feel, is wrong or not good.

It’s your shading, your shadows, making up the complete, beautifully exquisite image of your soul and your life.

 

 

~via TinyBuddha.com