CAMERON DAY: “Ascension Help Radio with Cameron Day” (4 of 4)

 

Take a journey deep within yourself to address hidden limitations holding you back so you can increase your frequency of thought. Cameron Day addresses topics such as how to put your ego mind into it’s proper place in your consciousness, how to strengthen your connection to your higher self, how to safely and effectively disconnect from harmful external energies and people, how to reclaim your energy and power from limiting beliefs, and much more. Visit AscensionHelp.com to access a free version of the Ascension Help Self-Clearing System.

 

Website: http://www.ascensionhelp.com
Blogsite: http://www.ascensionhelp.com/blog/
Radio Archive: http://www.ascensionhelp.com/ascensio…

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CAMERON DAY: “Ascension Help Radio with Cameron Day” (3 of 4)

 

Take a journey deep within yourself to address hidden limitations holding you back so you can increase your frequency of thought. Cameron Day addresses topics such as how to put your ego mind into it’s proper place in your consciousness, how to strengthen your connection to your higher self, how to safely and effectively disconnect from harmful external energies and people, how to reclaim your energy and power from limiting beliefs, and much more. Visit AscensionHelp.com to access a free version of the Ascension Help Self-Clearing System.

 

Website: http://www.ascensionhelp.com
Blogsite: http://www.ascensionhelp.com/blog/
Radio Archive: http://www.ascensionhelp.com/ascensio…

CAMERON DAY: “Ascension Help Radio with Cameron Day” (2 of 4)

 

Take a journey deep within yourself to address hidden limitations holding you back so you can increase your frequency of thought. Cameron Day addresses topics such as how to put your ego mind into it’s proper place in your consciousness, how to strengthen your connection to your higher self, how to safely and effectively disconnect from harmful external energies and people, how to reclaim your energy and power from limiting beliefs, and much more. Visit AscensionHelp.com to access a free version of the Ascension Help Self-Clearing System.

 

Website: http://www.ascensionhelp.com
Blogsite: http://www.ascensionhelp.com/blog/
Radio Archive: http://www.ascensionhelp.com/ascensio…

ERIC RAINES: “What Does It Mean to Raise Your Vibration?”

“Your natural state is incredibly resonant and strong, constantly rising upwards, but the damage and traumas of the past are literally like sandbags in a hot air balloon. As you try to rise up, they become more obvious and in your face. It does not mean they are getting worse, it means they are coming up to the surface to be cleared and we cannot clear anything without being aware of it. It is a natural process that will become more intense if you do not release the pain from the past and turn it into experience and understanding.”

~Eric Raines

 

What does it mean to raise your vibration?
As Humanity stretches further into the energies of Ascension, many are wondering what can they do personally to evolve themselves and to speed up the external process.

I find one of the easiest ways to understand low and high vibratory densities is to use a metaphor, simply because as above so below.

When we look at “high vibration” and “low vibration”, we have to recognize that they are states of being…it is describing a property.

Emotions that feel good inside of the body generally have a much higher vibration than emotions that do not feel good inside of the body.

When you feel excitement, Joy or unconditional love, there’s a rising, swelling feeling that makes you smile, laugh and feel warm and pleasant.

When you feel sadness, anger or guilt, there is a heavy solid feeling, almost as if something is taking up space that’s not supposed to be there. More often than not this is accompanied by a frown, scowl and feeling separate and withdrawn.

The body language under the surface already understands exactly what high vibration and low vibration is. We can feel it. It is a very obvious sensation, either light and clean or heavy and uncomfortable…which you can follow through internal focus into the sensations directly inside of the body… There is always a sensation accompanying the emotion.

Now that we have the initial detection broken down, our metaphor is easily understood.

Low vibratory Energies are very similar to heavy, dense and hard materials. High vibratory emotions are very similar to plasma and gas.

Inside of the universe that is generally liquid and gaseous, heavy, stuck material can literally drag downward, meaning if you are in a naturally High vibratory state and you allow yourself to act emotionally unintelligently, you can literally create heavy energy that pulls your vibratory state down into the lower fields.

In the same understanding, we can see traumas from the past as nothing more than frozen bits of time hidden in the body that are portals to those low vibratory emotions.

One of the easiest ways to raise your vibration, is to simply go into all the traumas that you are carrying with you from the past, forgive and release the heavy material by transmuting them into high vibratory emotions such as unconditional love and joy.

Your natural state is incredibly resonant and strong, constantly rising upwards, but the damage and traumas of the past are literally like sandbags in a hot air balloon. As you try to rise up, they become more obvious and in your face.

It does not mean they are getting worse, it means they are coming up to the surface to be cleared and we cannot clear anything without being aware of it. It is a natural process that will become more intense if you do not release the pain from the past and turn it into experience and understanding.

The parasitic construct is extremely heavy, dense and dark. If you have ever tried to grab a fistful of water, you will understand exactly why they need you traumatized and in lower emotions.

If you are extremely high vibration, it is like they are trying to capture the air with a net. They stop existing in your reality.

Start reverse engineering all of it. Stay aware of sensation and who you want to be.

As you become more luminous, more powerfully intense, you begin to shine this vibratory resonance to all of humanity.

This is why we are here.

These programs are Generations in the making. The power of being inside of the human consciousness, right here, right now is that we can break these tens of thousands year old Cycles literally in minutes.

As we break the prisons of our own making, we take back our individual minds, our souls and our bodies. Enough of us do this, and take back our planet.

You are a spark of the infinite Creator. Embody it.

 

~via Unleashing Natural Humanity

CAMERON DAY (Ascension Help): “Self-Clearing System Level 1, Step 6: Peeling the Layers”

Peeling the Layers

Self-Clearing System Level 1, Step 6

Be patient with the process

It is important to always be aware that this process of self-clearing with the goal of “Ascension” is not something that can be rushed. The ego’s repeated judgments of self and others, painful memories and emotional patterns took a lifetime to build, so they will take time to remove. Fortunately the self-clearing system on this site helps make the process more efficient.

If you would like to hear this process instead of reading it, use the youtube player below. When listening to the audio, you should be in a safe, relaxed space where you can close your eyes and be undisturbed for 10 minutes.*

You can click here for a printable version of this page.

*(If you would like to download an mp3 version of this audio, right click this link and choose the “save” option in the menu.)

Click on play above to hear this recording and see inspiring artistic visual aids

So what does it mean to peel the layers? In a nutshell, it means that even though you address an issue today, you only addressed as much as can be dealt with at the time.

Over the next few weeks, you may work on other issues, peeling away what can be addressed at the time related to those issues. Then suddenly an issue that was addressed a few weeks ago will show itself in your consciousness again. This doesn’t mean you didn’t make any progress, but that you have actually moved to a deeper layer of that issue.

That is progress!

Simply acknowledge that you are encountering a deeper level of the issue, and be thankful that it has shown itself to you clearly enough that you can address this deeper layer right now. When you have cleared as much as you can at that time, remind yourself that “I will be mindful of (this pattern) in my consciousness and the next time it shows up, I will continue to reclaim my energy that has gone into keeping it in place in my psyche.” (The actual wording you use isn’t important, only your intent.)

During the process of reclaiming energy from self-created limited attitudes, the ego will flare up and try to reassert its power. The form this takes will vary from person to person, but things to watch out for are: irrational emotional outbursts, judging others / yourself / the current events of your life, lack based thoughts, dwelling on painful emotions of the past, worrying about the future, trying to diminish or control another person, etc.

When this happens, simply thank your ego for showing you the next layer of that issue, minimize the ego, then engage the process of reclaiming your energy from the issue. This simple process, if engaged often enough, will literally “unravel” the structure of your ego, and the ego’s fight for importance will simply show you the exact issues that are still unresolved in your psyche.

No longer is the ego your worst enemy, but it instead becomes the unwitting agent of its own diminishment. Once properly diminished, the ego can return to its role as an internal GPS / office assistant, and the light of the One Infinite Creator will shine brightly through your being, uplifting the entire field of consciousness on this planet.

 

Donations

This website, Level 1 of the Self-Clearing System and other free audios are my gifts to you. If this site has increased your frequency and you wish to continue circulating abundance by giving back, I humbly accept with gratitude.

PayPal

https://www.paypal.com/donate/?token=mK9v_5IuXBmSmnoxlpg0UCA0fbeJ2NBNCUXDsWD3wSdHaKS4pGpc_gXEDFcsW7b8xhiMzG&country.x=US&locale.x=US

 

Copy Right AscensionHelp.com

All articles and artwork on this site may be distributed in unedited form wherever you wish. However, please include a link back to ascensionhelp.com

 

~via AscensionHelp.com

CAMERON DAY (Ascension Help): “Self-Clearing System Level 1, Step 5: Reclaiming Energy”

Reclaiming Energy

Self-Clearing System Level 1, Step 5

Identifying your issues and taking back your power from them

If you have practiced the techniques on The Cosmic Flush, Energy Refund, and the Ego Minimizer, then you are ready for the next step of identifying unresolved issues and emotions, then reclaiming the energy that you have put into them. It is crucial that you practice the techniques in the previous three steps before continuing.

If you would like to hear this process instead of reading it, click on the youtube player below. This segment is 20 minutes, and is broken up into two 10 minute Youtube Videos. Part 2 is further down the page, and you will have to click on part two to continue with the whole 20 minute process. When listening to the audio, you should be in a safe, relaxed space where you can close your eyes and be undisturbed for 20 minutes.*

You can click here for a printable version of this page.

*You can also right click this link and choose save to download an audio only mp3 of the the first part of this process to your hard drive. Right click this link and save for part two.

Click on play above to hear part one of the Reclaiming Energy process and see inspiring artistic visual aids. Scroll down for part two.

Click on play above to hear part two of the Reclaiming Energy process.

At an energetic level, thoughts are just as real as physical objects. A limiting belief, repeated in the mind enough times becomes a part of the reality of our energy field. Because most people live their lives in a state of relative unconsciousness and reactionism, they have created numerous thought forms that repeat endlessly in the mind, continually reinforcing their “reality.” Fortunately, the energy that we put into our thought forms can be reclaimed with relative ease.

First, engage the Cosmic Flush / Energy Return processes. Once you are connected and clear, simply stay focused on the present moment. Very soon your ego will start down a line of thinking. Because most of the thoughts in our minds have been repeated so many times, you will probably know where that line of thought is going before you get there. As soon as you know where those thoughts are going, do the Ego Minimizer, but keep the awareness of the attitude or emotion that the thoughts were tied to.

For example, perhaps your mind started thinking about a business deal that went bad, or a promotion that you didn’t receive. The emotional cluster involved could be something like anger, resentment and jealousy. We usually only attach such strong emotions to situations that happen to US, because they are personal and part of “our story” of our identity.

The past experience was just an event. If it would have happened to somebody else, you probably wouldn’t care, but the emotional cluster you formed around the experience because it happened to YOU is what we’re addressing with this process. We tend to put significant energy into these emotions as we replay the experience in the mind, further reinforcing the emotional reaction every time we remember the experience. After the emotions are triggered, what follows is a series of ego thoughts based on the faulty logic that the emotions experienced as a result of remembering the experience are absolute, immutable, unchanging.

This is the basis for a limiting thoughtform, and it is where we will direct our focus in the reclaiming energy process. Continuing with the example above, the focus will be on the emotions and attitudes related to anger, resentment and jealousy triggered by the remembered event.

Return to your state of presence in the Now moment, and ask your God Self to bring forth the energy that you have tied up in anger, resentment and jealousy based thoughts and attitudes, that you can address at this time.

(Don’t make the mistake of egoically thinking “I will just remove ALL the anger, resentment and jealousy from my psyche RIGHT NOW.” The process of taking your power back is just that: a process. Be patient and allow it to unfold, rather than forcing it.)

Your God Self will show you a “picture” of the unresolved and limiting attitudes in your psyche that are “ripe” for the plucking. You will sense these issues in yourself according to how you sense and perceive subtle energies. Some people will see certain shapes or colors, others will feel sensations in their body, some will just “know” that the issues are real.

Please do not get caught up in detailing the way that you perceive the issues. Just like a picture of an elephant is not an elephant, perception of subtle energies is not the energy itself.

Before you take any action, return your focus to the present moment. From that present moment point of power, you will engage in a “conversation” with your God Self where you communicate that:

It is my desire to reclaim all available energy that I have put into these attitudes of (whatever).

I take responsibility for creating these issues, and putting my energy into them.

I now realize that I wanted the struggle in my life that these attitudes have created.

I am ready to forgive myself for creating struggle via these attitudes.

My dear God Self, let’s take back all of this energy NOW!

Return your focus to the present moment and breath deeply, feeling the flow of energy returning to you. If you feel discomfort in your body, do not seek to get rid of it, but simply move your awareness to it. Your awareness will direct the flow of energy to the discomfort and it will usually transmute on its own. It is very important to remember to NOT judge or resist these issues as they come up, but to be thankful that they are being shown to you so that you can address them and reclaim your power.

If the energy feels “stuck” at any point during the process, ask the Galaxy Being to deliver transmutational holograms to free up any energy bound to the thought forms you are addressing.

During the process, you may sense non-physical entities that have associated with you via the energy of the attitudes you are addressing. Please remember that they are there because of your own attitudes, and thank them for the role they played in your evolution. Simply broadcast a thought such as, “Thank you for participating in my creations, but you are free to go forth on your own journey now.” Ask that the Galaxy Being gives them a transmutational hologram if they choose to experience one.

During this process, it is vital to remain in a state of neutrality or better yet, Love. If you are angry at the entities for being there, it will be a struggle to get them to leave. When you can move into your heart and appreciate their contribution to your awakening, you transmute the energy that was attracting them to you. The same is true of the actual emotions and attitudes — don’t judge yourself or the emotions, but instead rejoice that you are engaging the process of liberating your consciousness from your self-created prison.

Finally, we will discuss being patient with the process of peeling the layers.

 

Donations

This website, Level 1 of the Self-Clearing System and other free audios are my gifts to you. If this site has increased your frequency and you wish to continue circulating abundance by giving back, I humbly accept with gratitude.

PayPal

https://www.paypal.com/donate/?token=mK9v_5IuXBmSmnoxlpg0UCA0fbeJ2NBNCUXDsWD3wSdHaKS4pGpc_gXEDFcsW7b8xhiMzG&country.x=US&locale.x=US

 

Copy Right AscensionHelp.com

All articles and artwork on this site may be distributed in unedited form wherever you wish. However, please include a link back to ascensionhelp.com

 

~via AscensionHelp.com

CAMERON DAY (Ascension Help): “Self-Clearing System Level 1, Step 4: Ego Minimizer”

Ego Minimizer

Self-Clearing System Level 1, Step 4

Getting out of your own way

Much has been written about the nature of the Ego and the detrimental effect that it has on our state of consciousness and the world around us.

When engaging this process, it is important that you do not begin to resent or hate the ego. This process is simply to help you understand and tame the ego so that it can serve you, instead of controlling you.

If you would like to hear this process instead of reading it, use the youtube player below. When listening to the audio, you should be in a safe, relaxed space where you can close your eyes and be undisturbed for 10 minutes.*

You can click here for a printable version of this page.

*(If you would like to download an mp3 version of this audio, right click this link and choose the “save” option in the menu.)

Click on play above to hear this process and see inspiring artistic visual aids

Minimizing the ego’s role is a vital part of the self-clearing process. The problems in our world stem from the Ego doing 95% of the day to day thinking in most people’s minds. This doesn’t mean the ego is bad, but simply that it has bitten off WAY more than it can chew, and the time has come to diminish our egos and return them to their proper place so that the deeper aspects of our minds can come forward.

The ego’s intended function is similar to an office assistant or a GPS / navigation unit found in newer cars. Imagine that one day the GPS in your car started talking to you and telling you nice things about yourself, then gradually it started talking to you all the time, reminding you of past events that cause you to have an emotional response, worrying about possible future events, reminding you to actively engage in “image management” so that other people will like and respect you, telling you to buy things you don’t need, talking in terms of lack, fear and restlessness. Then if all that talking gets to be too much, the GPS unit would just play you some music because it controls your stereo, too, and often plays songs that remind you of the past.

Most people would return that GPS as a defective unit!

We can’t return our ego, though, because it performs a necessary role while in a third dimensional body. It is intimately connected with the left-brain, rational side of our minds, and it helps us to navigate physical reality without bumping into things, reminds us of important upcoming events, helps us recall old memories, engages in conversations, is charming in social situations, etc, etc.

The metaphor of the ego as a GPS/office assistant can be helpful in our process of taming the ego so that it is doing 10% of the thinking in our minds as originally intended, instead of 95% of the thinking, which is most people’s ego dominated experience.

Enough analysis, which is really for the Ego’s sake, let’s get to the process!

First, engage the Cosmic Flush and Energy Refund processes. (If you haven’t practiced those techniques yet, please do so before continuing.)

Now simply stay focused on the present moment, allowing yourself to feel the Cosmic Flush energy flowing through you. It won’t take long for your ego to engage a thought process. It might bring up something from your past, a judgment of somebody, a worry about the future, or a way to “increase your esteem” in the eyes of others.

As soon as you realize the ego has taken over, say “Thank you ego for showing me this issue. Now please have a seat and be quiet.” Then return your awareness to the present moment and the energy of the Cosmic Flush.

A helpful visualization I use is minimizing the ego just like minimizing a program on a computer. When it minimizes, it goes down to the bottom left corner of my “mental screen” and I am left with a view of the energy of the Cosmic Flush moving through me.

That’s it! The process itself is incredibly simple, but it will take time before it is automatic for you to minimize your ego whenever it flares up, so continual awareness of your own thoughts is very important.

The ego constantly distracts from the present moment, so many people who have been using this ego minimizer technique report that over time they find their awareness in the present moment becoming their dominant state of mind, and that their ego is giving remarkably little input aside from its intended navigational functions. This is where we are at our most powerful and most loving.

But wait, there’s more! 🙂

Once you have some practice with the Cosmic Flush / Energy Refund / Ego Minimizer, you will be ready to start reclaiming your energy that has been bound up in egoic thoughtforms and unresolved emotions. Click here for the next article, Reclaiming Energy.

 

Donations

This website, Level 1 of the Self-Clearing System and other free audios are my gifts to you. If this site has increased your frequency and you wish to continue circulating abundance by giving back, I humbly accept with gratitude.

PayPal

https://www.paypal.com/donate/?token=mK9v_5IuXBmSmnoxlpg0UCA0fbeJ2NBNCUXDsWD3wSdHaKS4pGpc_gXEDFcsW7b8xhiMzG&country.x=US&locale.x=US

 

Copy Right AscensionHelp.com

All articles and artwork on this site may be distributed in unedited form wherever you wish. However, please include a link back to ascensionhelp.com

 

~via AscensionHelp.com

DEJAN DAVCEVSKI: “How To Get Out Of Victimhood Mentality And Thrive In Life”

There are two ways to live, either that things happen against you, or for you. In this article we’ll tell you how to get out of victimhood mentality.

What is victimhood mentality? It’s this flawed way of thinking, a mindset where you think the circumstances are against you for some reason.

It gives us an inflated sense of self importance and that’s why it’s so addictive. We think we are so important that the whole world is against us.

We believe that there are limits, people and circumstances preventing us from being happy. It’s someone else’s fault, not ours. This is a fierce prison.

It’s comforting, but it will enslave you indefinitely. When you get out of this mentality it’s when you will actually start to live again and to thrive.

5 Ways To Get Out Of Victimhood Mentality:

1. You do not lack anything.

One of the biggest false lessons we learn as we grow up is that we need something to make us complete.

The world teaches us through media, propaganda and stories that you need a soulmate, you need to be wealthy, you need a purpose to be happy.

The reality is that you do not need anything. You are complete and whole right here and now as you are reading this.

You don’t need anything. You are enough to be happy, to be yourself, to start becoming who you desire to be. The things you think you need are illusions.

They are a carrot on a stick making you endlessly chase your own tail. So stop. You don’t lack anything to give your 100% right here and right now.

2. Nothing is happening ‘to you’.

Majority of people like to think that they are so important that when it starts to rain, for example, it’s because something is against them.

Tiny little beings, on a tiny little land, on a tiny little planet out of billions just in our Galaxy, planet that follows massive, interconnected systems.

And we dare to think that we are so important that all the mechanisms in our Galaxy conspired to create this rain, just so it will mess our hair.

The reality is that nothing happens to you. Things are neutral, but we need to feel important. It’s okay, but see things as happening ‘for you’ not ‘to you’.

3. The world is abundant.

There is one flaw in our mentality that makes us think the world is scarce of things. Scarce of resources, opportunities, things.

In reality, the world is so abundant of things that it’s hard for our mind to really grasp all the available options we have constantly around us.

There are countless opportunities every single second, all around you, countless things you can do and experience, countless resources.

There are so many books you can read, movies you can watch, songs to listen, meals to try, places to visit, art to see, it’s not possible to see 1% of it.

Just think about this. No matter what you want, if you go every single second of every single day doing it, you will experience less than 1% of it.

4. Nobody is stopping you.

If you are like most people you would find countless excuses of why you can’t do the things that you want to do. This is victimhood mentality.

In reality and in all probability, nothing and nobody is actively stopping you to do what you want to do. Think about this. Really do.

You want a better job, who stops you from leaving this one? You want to travel, who stops you? Want to find the love of your life, nobody stops you.

Really. No one does. You can get up, right now, and start walking. Go wherever you want. Right now.

That’s why you have a mind, to find a way. Instead of using it to complain, use it to find a way. Nobody stops you from living the life that you want.

5. No one owes you anything.

We often have this idea deep inside our subconscious mind that the world owes us something. That we deserve to have what we want to have.

And it’s okay to feel like you deserve to have the things that make you happy, but it’s not ok to think you deserve for something to just serve them to you.

Yeah, you deserve to be successful but you still have to work for it. That’s what deserving means, accepting that you would go the distance.

Feeling that you deserve all those beautiful things and that fact to motivate you to take necessary action. Nobody is responsible to give you anything.

The only one responsible for getting what you want to get is you. Just like everyone else is responsible for themselves. Nobody owes you anything.

 

~via LifeCoachCode.com

SELF-MASTERY FOR THE DAY ~ Eric Raines on Triggers

What are your triggers? What sets you off?

 

Breathe into that feeling, inhale in your smile, exhale out what does not feel good, including your reaction to the trigger.

 

Train yourself not to react negatively to the trigger, then put it into action the next time it appears.

 

Magic.

 

~Eric Raines

 

~via Unleashing Natural Humanity

FIONA REILLY: “Four Tips for Effective Listening”

The gift of being heard is something really precious. Having someone listen attentively to our expression or story is very healing and can enable us find our own understanding, acceptance, balance and joy again. Listening sounds like a very simple thing and indeed it is, yet many of us struggle to listen effectively. Being a good listener requires being present and fully attentive to the other. It is not about offering advice or fixing anything or making the other feel better, it’s simply being there and paying attention.

 

“Whatever life we have experienced, if we can tell our story to someone who listens, we find it easier to deal with our circumstances.”

~Margaret J. Wheatley

 

Four Tips for Effective Listening

So how might we listen more effectively… there are many things that can help! Below I outline four suggestions that I have found to be fundamental to good listening.

Be Present

Initially, it is vital to be present and with the speaker, to give them our full attention. If possible find a quiet place for a listening exchange where you are unlikely to be disturbed. Turn off phones and any background noise. Honour your boundaries, if you feel you only have 20 minutes to listen, say so at the beginning so the boundaries are clear or explain that now is a not a good time and arrange to connect when the time is right. To the best of your ability come from a place of acceptance and compassion and avoid judgement of them or their story. Be fully attentive to them and the energy between you.

 

“Listening is such a simple act. It requires us to be present, and that takes practice, but we don’t have to do anything else. We don’t have to advise, or coach, or sound wise. We just have to be willing to sit there and listen.”

~Margaret J. Wheatley

 

Simply Listen

Many of us want to try to fix and make things better for the other person, yet the most beneficial way is for them to work through whatever is arising and to find their own solutions. The way to help someone feel better is to encourage them to be with their pain or confusion or whatever their experience is, to explore it and then they may feel empowered to move through it. Telling someone they need to be strong or things will get better or something similar isn’t effective longterm and can be disempowering. So try not to fix the situation or offer solutions unless they are invited. When listening our purpose isn’t to make a person feel better, simply by having their experiences heard in a non-judgemental and accepting way can allow things to shift and heal.

 

“The human soul doesn’t want to be advised or fixed or saved. It simply wants to be witnessed — to be seen, heard and companioned exactly as it is.”

~Paul Parker

 

Focus On the Speaker’s Perspective

While it’s useful to be able to identify with their experience, telling someone of your similar experience is not usually helpful, so try not to habitually compare their situation to one that you have experienced. It is of course fine if you are having a two way conversation, however if you want to encourage a person to explore their experience, your story isn’t what they need to hear, at least not until they have worked through their own stuff. It can take from what the speaker is saying and turns the attention away from them. Occasionally it may be appropriate to share your own experience, use your intuition on when that feels right. You could check with the speaker if they’d like you to share what happened to you, though mostly I find it best to stay with what the speaker is sharing.

In order to acknowledge their experience and what they have shared, you can reflect back to them what you heard them say, for example “You felt very angry when that happened”. Such a reflection does a number of things, it shows that you are listening, that their feelings or expressions are valid and enables them to go into more depth around the issues. In focussing on the other person you may notice the subtleties of body language, tone of voice… etc., which can sometimes indicate more than their words and again if appropriate you can reflect back what you notice.

Don’t engage in a drama or exaggerate the situation, sometimes what is being shared may arise feelings in you, acknowledge these internally though put them aside you can always return to explore them yourself at a more appropriate time.

Become Comfortable With Silences

For many silences or gaps in conversation cause discomfort and they rush to fill the quietness with something. However allowing a silence lets the speaker know that you are there for them and ready to listen when they are ready to speak. Speaking in order to break a silence usually ends up in directing the speaker in a different direction, than what may have otherwise arose next. If you do feel to ask questions, do so for clarity and understanding. The facts or details usually don’t matter. If you do feel to ask questions try to keep them open ended, you could you phrases like “How was that for you?” to encourage more disclosure or as I mentioned earlier reflect back what you have just heard.

Acknowledge Pain

This is an excellent video relating to how to support a grieving friend and the principles offered could be used with other challenging situations, not only grief. The way to help someone feel better is to encourage them to be with their pain, to explore and accept it and then they may feel empowered to move through it.

 

“One of the easiest human acts is also the most healing. Listening to someone. Simply listening. Not advising or coaching, but silently and fully listening.”

~Margaret J. Wheatley

 

With loving gratitude for all those who have shown me how to listen well and for my continued learning. I wish you well with your listening explorations,

Fiona

 

~via WakeUp-World.com