ALEXA PELLEGRINI: “Love Yourself First: Creating Healthy Relationships in a Superficial World”

Love Yourself

In the last several years, websites like ChristianMingle.com and Match.com have soared in popularity. Tinder and dating apps have blown up on social media. But relationship issues and loneliness are still more of a problem in our society than ever, and most of us continue to have a difficult time understanding the foundations of love. So, what is love – not just romantic love, but healthy, spiritual love? What does it mean to be in a genuine, loving relationship, and more importantly, how can we all find one? Here are some insights into improving your dating life so you can avoid unfulfilling relationships and get closer to discovering the healing power of love.

Finding ‘True Love’: It’s All About Your Energy

Relationships work on the basis of energetic attraction. The more you neglect loving and accepting yourself, the more you’ll encounter Karmic relationships that will show that this needs to change. To understand ourselves on a higher level, we tend to attract and be attracted to others who mirror our inner wounds. Instead of healing us, these people just exacerbate our pain – and yet ironically, these are the relationships we struggle to escape the most, because our souls are begging for us to heal ourselves! If we have a deep desire for attention, we may be attracted to a narcissistic person who denies us the attention we so desperately seek. If we have a strong need to be validated and nurtured, we may be attracted to someone who pull away the more we chase after them – and so on. There is a variety of ways we can go ‘wrong’ in our personal relationships by trying to deal with our inner wounds through our partners.

You’re probably wondering: how can this be avoided so we can get the relationship we really want? The solution to finding genuine, loving relationships that don’t reflect our identity crises is simpler than you think. Of course, it all starts with love – but not by giving all of your love and everything you have to the person you’re with, so you can convince them to love you wholeheartedly in return. It’s by showing all of that love and care to yourself.

Making Simple Changes, Day by Day

Repeat after me: you don’t need to prove you’re worthy or lovable to anyone – you already are. If you struggle to look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you’re worth everything you have (and more!), it’s important to realize that some serious self-work lies ahead in order to find the relationship of your dreams.

Forgive yourself for all of your past mistakes. Give yourself a pat on the back for the wonderful things you’ve done and how hard you work every day. Look into your eyes and tell yourself that you are lovable and loved – over and over, until you really believe it. These behavioral adjustments are necessary for you to heal yourself and move on from words and events of the past that are holding you back from stepping into your own power and building healthy relationships. Don’t look for someone else to do the hard work of loving and accepting yourself for you – you can rise to the challenge and take on the quest with vigor and courage.

Love Yourself

Forget Flowers and Candy: Think Friendship and Forgiveness

Affection, gifts, romantic gestures and great sex are all hallmarks of a healthy, functional relationship, but it doesn’t stop there. We’ve all seen in movies and on TV how sexy, romantic relationships often end in heartbreak, how even the strongest of chemistry between two people often leads to nowhere except a series of one-night stands or a dysfunctional relationship. Yet society tells us that fantastic sex and romance are the defining features of a happy relationship, all while friendship and forgiveness are neglected.

Without being able to connect and empathize with our partners on a human level, we lose the ability to forgive their mistakes and realize that they aren’t solely around to fulfill our emotional, physical and financial needs. Codependency, resentment and declarations of “that’s not fair!” and “you don’t care about me as much as I care about you!” are usually the hallmark of these kinds of relationships. When we fail to see our partners as not only our lovers but our friends, we lose the ability to identify with them on a deeper emotional level and the energetic balance in the relationship is totally thrown off.

Here’s an exercise: in your mind, have your best friend and your partner switch places. How do you treat your best friend? Do you give your friend healthy space, reasonable forgiveness and support for their dreams? Do you do the same for your partner? Creating a feeling of friendship between you and your partner is the easiest way to try to heal a failing relationship.

©Universal Copyright 2015 is authorized here. Please distribute freely as long as both the author Alexa Pellegrini and www.QuantumStones.com are included as the resource and this information is distributed on a non-commercial no charge basis.

 

BRENDA BENTLEY: “Stepping Out and Into the Light”

step-into-light

Do you ever wonder why some people just seem to shine – inside and out? Whatever they have seems to glow from within. I like to call this their ‘inner light’. Not only does this light give them a youthful appearance, but everything about them seems lighter (pun intended), clearer and illuminated.I believe that we all harbor this inner light, and it’s simply a matter of tapping into it. When we learn how to uncover this hidden light by getting in touch with what was previously buried deep inside of us we can then embrace it. Then, we are able to transform those parts that once made us feel separate, incomplete, alone and in the dark into a vibrant whole person.

Transformational Healing is the path to inner knowingness. When we discover our hidden resources, we learn to trust, accept and believe in the answers that are coming from within ourselves. For many of us, this is a foreign concept -almost a fear- because for years, we have been taught to hide or push uncomfortable feelings even deeper down inside.

 

Alchemical healing

I have learned the hard way. When I push those feelings and sensations deeper down and further away from my consciousness, havoc and chaos prevail. Why? Because those feelings (that we have previously ignored, denied or rejected) are simply parts of us that need to be felt, expressed, heard and acknowledged. By recognizing them, we are able to get in touch with our roots and learn how to gently integrate and love all aspects of ourselves. Now the healing begins because we are finally honoring all of the parts of ourselves that have been waiting to be seen and accepted. And, this is exactly what our true core inner being has been seeking all along.

The alchemical healing that occurs feels magical because, the place that stores the wounds we once perceived as our dark or shadow side, is actually a powerful and deep space that grants us passage to understand those hidden chambers. When deeply held beliefs and buried emotions are able to surface and be seen in the light, we gain clarity and begin to see truth in all situations. Dysfunctional emotions that have contributed to addictions, depression, anxiety, loneliness and separation are brought back into balance and we begin to heal both, on an emotional and physical level. When old wounds and hidden emotions such as grief, trauma and fear are released, we are able to open our hearts and minds to self-love which allows us to experience a sense of balance, emotional well-being, harmony and empowerment.

Love all aspects of self

Learning how to love all aspects of ourselves frees us from the emotional chains that used to grip us. As we embark upon this healing journey, it is important to be gentle with yourself and nurture self-acceptance and love in all ways.

Like the sun that rests in the darkness behind the clouds, once you ‘step out and into the light’, you will shine and illuminate others with your gifts of clarity, trust and inner knowingness. I invite you to reach out and start this journey of ‘your lifetime’ with me, NOW.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Brenda Bentley is a Certified Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Spiritual Guide.  She is an avid collector of crystals, metaphysical tools and indigenous artwork and understands the energies around them.   She enjoys spending time in nature and working with others.  She offers her coaching services and customized CD’s at www.brendabentleycoaching.com.

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To learn more about coaching and to speak personally with Brenda, she is currently gifting a free 15-minute phone consultation.  She can be reached at: www.brendabentleycoaching.com or by email at: brenda@brendabentleycoaching.com.

This article was originally created and published by Brenda Bentley and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Brenda Bentley Coaching and Quantumstones.com. It may be re-posted freely intact with original links, proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.