CONSCIOUS REMINDER: “Dealing With Never-Ending Change”

There are a lot of things in life that we can avoid and do without but change is not of them. There will always be change, in some form or the other, sneaking up on us.

That being said let us be real for a second and really talk about change. Is it really easy to accept it and adapt to whatever change comes our way?

The answer would be a resounding no. Most people do not do well with change and that is normal. If you are one of those people, breathe and keep reading because I am here with a few ways that might help you cope with change and get on with your life.

Be nice to yourself

We are often pretty unforgiving when it comes to our own selves and consider ourselves to be incompetent when we struggle but when we see someone close to us going through the same stuff, we are sympathetic and kind to them.

What we need to do in these situations is be the same to our own selves. As a human with emotions and feelings, understand that you are allowed to suffer, be sad and not be okay.

Allow yourself that time to find your footing again and be nice to yourself. A little self love can go a long way.

Observe things and pay attention

Life passes by us pretty fast when we are not paying attention but that is not the best way to live. Look around yourself and be informed about what is happening.

This way you become a better balanced individuals and balance always comes in handy. Everything around you at any given moment is meant to be there at that exact moment — these things need your attention.

Start journaling

Writing a journal every day or as much as possible is effective in many ways. It grants you a look into your innermost complexities and thoughts and helps you understand them better.

When you journal every day, you will find that you feel lighter than usual because you have let out everything that you needed to let out.

Breathe and know that you can do anything. Love yourself.

 

~via ConsciousReminder.com

Advertisements

ALETHEIA LUNA: “12 Signs It’s Time to Move On and Burn All Bridges”

“It is not selfish to burn bridges when the person on the other end is feeding off your soul. In fact, deliberately moving toxic people from your life is a sign of self-love and respect for your personal needs.”

~Aletheia Luna

 

There often comes a point where we outgrow the people in our lives, develop different interests, and even in the best circumstances, lose people due to the natural cycle of life and death.

But when is the right time to move on from a relationship that feels doomed? Should we wait it out … should we try to pick up the broken pieces, and if so, for how long? At what point is it acceptable to walk away and never look back?

Burning bridges is a tough and serious decision to make. When we “burn bridges” we are essentially cutting off all contact with a person and making it impossible to return. If you’re struggling with this decision, there are a few things you might like to know first.

When Burning Bridges is the Wrong Choice

Cutting people off is not always the right decision. As much as we would like to quickly dispose of a person who is causing us trouble, sometimes the problem originates more within us than them.

For instance, burning bridges might be the wrong choice if you’re wanting to dispose of a person due to fear of intimacy and the unwillingness to be vulnerable. Both of these problems will not be solved by cutting a person off, and in fact, making such a decision will exacerbate and deepen your insecurities. If you’re uncomfortable with sharing your entire self with another person in a friendship or relationship, the problem obviously isn’t the other person, but your own internal fears and traumas. In order to work through this problem, be honest with yourself and the person in your life. Explain how you feel. If they truly love you, they will understand and will stop trying to make you open up.

Another example of a wrong time to move on would be in the heat of anger (or another strong emotional reaction). When we are consumed by emotions our logic is overridden and we cannot think or see clearly. So many poor and even fatal decisions are made when our amygdala has gone haywire (bring to mind all the crimes of passion you hear on the news). In order to prevent yourself from making a rash decision, force yourself to breathe in and out for a couple of minutes. Removing yourself from the person or situation also helps your mind and body to settle down.

The final example of a wrong time to move on is when a relationship changes and stops being fun and exciting all the time. So many people tend to mistakenly believe that there’s something “wrong” with their relationship as it matures and grows because it’s no longer filled with the same ecstasy experienced at the beginning. But the reality is that every relationship changes: you will not experience the same dizzy euphoria as you did when you first fell in love. But there will be new emotions to experience as you grow and change with your partner. It is normal to feel a bit of boredom every now and then, but this does not necessarily mean that you need to burn bridges and move on. Obviously, if you’re feeling constantly bored and unfulfilled then you should seriously reconsider your relationship. But don’t make the mistake of hopping from partner to partner in an attempt to find that one person who makes you feel euphoric 100% of the time. It just won’t happen.

If you need more guidance on how to improve your relationship, read my article How to Save a Relationship or Marriage. You might also like to read more about how to create a deep spiritual connection with your partner.

12 Signs It’s Time to Move On

So when is it the right time to move on?

At some point in our lives, we all need to make the heart-wrenching choice to sever contact with certain people. For some of us, that might mean burning bridges with our ex-partners or friends, and for others, this might mean cutting off contact with our parents, siblings or even our own children.

It is unrealistic — and even dangerous — to believe that all relationships can be repaired, no matter what has happened. We cannot change other people, no matter how hard we try. Yes, we might be able to influence them, but the choice to change comes from them, not us. We cannot force others to change. Therefore, sometimes we need to accept that it’s time to move on, let go, and open a new chapter of our lives because no matter what we do, a person will only change if they are interested in changing.

Letting go can even seem cruel to some people, especially if a strong emotional bond is present. But the reality is that we have to take care of ourselves as well. If a person is not a source of comfort or support in your life, then they hang around you like dead weight holding you back from self-fulfillment. It is not selfish to burn bridges when the person on the other end is feeding off your soul. In fact, deliberately moving toxic people from your life is a sign of self-love and respect for your personal needs.

Here are some major signs that it’s time to move on:

1. They don’t show interest in your thoughts, opinions or needs

Your relationship is very lopsided. Even when you try to express your thoughts and needs, you are met with a blank, uninterested wall. Life seems to revolve around the other person, and whenever you try to draw a conversation towards yourself, this person will immediately try to hog attention. In the past, you may have drawn attention to the fact that this person doesn’t show interest in your needs, but nothing changed and they made no effort to pay attention to you. This person has an “ME first, you second” attitude.

2. They emanate constant negativity

No matter what you do or say, the other person is always unhappy. This person might nitpick, whine, criticize, judge, and moan about you or other people all the time. Not only that, but you always seem to go away feeling miserable after spending time with this person. They are like a damp heavy blanket suffocating your soul.

3. They don’t encourage your freedom

A major red flag: if the other person is controlling and authoritative, back away slowly! If you feel trapped and unable to be your true self, it’s most definitely time to move on. Feeling trapped can also be subtle and passive, for example, a partner or parent who tries to keep you dependent on them so that they have power over you.

4. They twist the truth

You struggle to trust this person because they have lied to you so much in the past. Lying is not always active, it can also be passive, for example, withholding information or details that you needed to know. This person has repeatedly broken your trust and is not transparent with you.

5. They don’t prioritize your relationship

The other person doesn’t seem to value your relationship/friendship as much as you do. While you put in so much work to improve your relationship with them, the other person doesn’t seem to care at all. Even when you have asked them to uphold their side of the relationship, they still ended up prioritizing other things over you. For example, they might spend long nights out with their friends at the pub and return at 3am. Or they might forget dates, meetups or agreements and put work or other commitments above you. While busyness is a normal part of life, this person doesn’t seem to have time on their schedule for you at all.

6. They create constant drama

You feel exhausted having to deal with all of the problems and dramas surrounding this person. Even when something goes well for your friend/partner/family member, they quickly find something else to be unhappy about. You have a sense that this person thrives on drama and is empty without it. You’re tired of hearing detailed accounts of their fights, work dramas, relationship tragedies, righteous opinions, ad infinitum.

7. They feed off your energy

This person seems to be fuelled by your attention and emotional reactions. They might enjoy provoking you to elicit a response that makes them feel like they have power over you. You also feel very tired around them, and almost sucked into their gravitational pull. If you feel this way, you’ve likely got an energy vampire on your hands. While I don’t particularly like this term, it accurately describes people who enjoy leeching off our energy.

8. They’re relentlessly needy

You feel smothered by this other person and like you’re bound to them with a ball and chain. Not only do you have to take care of your needs, but you feel as though you have to take care of their needs as well. This person seems to constantly demand attention, pampering, affection, and favors from you. You’ve tried encouraging this person to stand on their own two feet, but they seem intent on clinging off you. This person seems to be incapable of being self-assured and constantly seeks approval from you.

9. They have physically hurt you

In moments of rage, your friend/partner/family member may have hit you or physically hurt you in some way. While they may have apologized, your trust and confidence around them have been broken. Physical abuse is a crystal clear sign that it’s time to move on and burn bridges, forever.

10. They make you want to hide your true self

You’ve tried being relaxed and open around this person, but you’ve been met with coldness, criticism or judgment. As a result, you may have resorted to hiding your true self and wearing a mask instead. Gradually, you may have even started to forget who you truly are, having become a shell of your former self instead. You feel sick of changing who you are for the other person.

11. They manipulate you

You chronically feel emotionally blackmailed or gaslighted by this person. Sometimes you even feel like you’re the abuser, when in fact, the other is just playing mind games with you.

12. They intentionally hold you back

On the surface it may appear that your friend, partner or family member has “the best intentions for you,” but really, they don’t. They are scared. They don’t want you to change. They don’t want you to reach your full potential, for that will make them feel left behind. They don’t want to see you happy, for that will reflect how unhappy they are. They don’t want you to take risks, for that will force them to reconsider their own life choices. As the old truism goes, “misery loves company.” Unhappy people want to be surrounded by other unhappy people because it gives them some sense of consolation. As a result, you might feel like you have to dim down your lights, blend in, and become a wallflower.

After reading this list:

After reading this list, please know that you don’t have to say “yes” to every sign. Even if you’re experiencing just one or two of these signs, you should seriously consider the possibility that it’s time to move on. While you don’t have to necessarily burn bridges, you might like to create space and distance and see how you feel.

Hopefully these signs can gently awaken you to the possibility that it’s time to open a new chapter of your life. And please know that feeling things like stress, shame, and grief are all normal reactions. Personally, when it was time for me to burn bridges I felt intense emotional and psychological turmoil for many months. In my case, I had to cut ties with my entire family in order to escape their oppressive fundamentalist religion. But to my surprise, I felt so free and liberated that all of the pain of going through separation was worth it.

I hope you can find the same kind of freedom. Your heart and soul are stronger than you may think.

 

About the author: Aletheia Luna is an influential spiritual writer whose work has changed the lives of thousands of people worldwide. After escaping the religious sect she was raised in, Luna experienced a profound existential crisis that led to her spiritual awakening. As a psychospiritual counselor, tarot reader, and professional writer, Luna’s mission is to help others become conscious of their entrapment and find joy, empowerment, and liberation in any circumstance.

 

~via LonerWolf.com

NEZEL PADAYHAG: “10 Tips How To Become The Best Person That You Can Be”

We all have bigger potential within us than we think we have. We can be and do much, much more. We can influence the world on a much bigger scale.

Success in all areas of life depends largely on how you carry yourself. Whether you want to be the best lover or worker, you can’t become one without having to work for it.

You need to be the best that you can be before you can attract the best things and the best people to come your way.

You need to be aware, though, that becoming your best self doesn’t mean things will flow smoothly in your life. You may still encounter hardships along the way.

Yet, these things are easy to handle when you have become the best version of yourself. The suggestions below will help you become one.

10 Tips How To Become The Best Person:

1. Love yourself the way you want to be loved.

There is no one in the world who can provide you the love that you need except your own self. You alone know yourself inside out, including your strengths, weaknesses, failures, successes, and quirkiness.

If you can love yourself despite some of the things that you hate in yourself, then it would be easier for others to love you the same.

In the same way, you can’t love others for who they truly are if you can’t love yourself for who you really are. Make it a point to love yourself genuinely and be energetically vibrant.

2. Go deeper and discover the beauty within you.

As Aristotle pointed out, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” It’s because while growing up, we have been conditioned to believe we need to become someone else.

Seeing yourself other than who you really are may block you from seeing your true beauty.

You are a divine being destined to spark. But you can’t see yourself this way unless you connect to yourself much more deeply.

3. Accept your own uniqueness.

Avoid the pitfall of comparing yourselves with others. You have your own journey and have a different path to take.

Don’t be afraid to express your unique self because that is who you are. You don’t need approval or validation.

Follow your own unfolding and focus on your unique gifts. You alone carry the kind of gift you are intended to share with the world.

4. Forgive and heal yourself.

Carrying grudges decreases your life force. Forgive others even if they don’t ask for it. Forgive yourself too.

Healing begins with the act of forgiveness. When you forgive, you free yourself and heal yourself from all the pains that you may have accumulated for so long.

Once freed, you begin to gain access to your life force.

5. Be aware of your inner critic.

Most often, your inner critic is your worst critic, telling you to be more than what you can be. Don’t fight this inner critic because you will only waste your energy.

Instead, be more compassionate with yourself.

When this critic speaks tell yourself how much you love yourself for all that you are. Love conquers all, your inner critic included.

6. Follow your gut feeling.

Learn to honor your gut feeling or intuition.

Most often, it carries the answers to your questions and serves as a guide in making important decisions.

Your intuition is your inner knowing that only wants the best for you.

7. Practice meditation.

A regular practice of meditation goes a long way.

Meditating for at least 15 to 20 minutes a day is enough to calm your mind, free you from stress, and enhance your well being.

It’s also a great means of connecting with your inner being.

8. Honor your body.

Your body is your physical manifestation in this world. It’s how others connect to you on a physical level.

When it’s in good shape, your connections outside and inside can go smoothly.

Give it the self care that it needs. Feed it with nourishing food, get enough rest, and do physical exercises.

9. Design your best life.

You have in your capacity the full power to design your life the way that inspires you to wake up every morning with vigor and excitement.

You can create a unique living that suits your special needs.

It’s the kind of life that may not be the ideal one in the world’s standards, but one where love prospers and where you can be absolutely happy.

10. Strive to make a difference in your small part of the world.

Wherever you are, you can make a difference in your own unique way.

Your contribution may be small, but giving all your best to the world can create ripples that will ultimately touch the lives of more people than you could expect.

Even becoming the best person that you can be is enough to create a spark in the hearts of others that you may come into contact with.

Remember, the greatest person you are to meet in this world is still within you. Awaken that person and be the best that you can be.

 

~via LifeCoachCode.com

DEJAN DAVCEVSKI: “3 Things To Do This August To Be A Better Version Of Yourself”

The past month we focused more on reconnecting with yourself but we didn’t say how important nurturing yourself is.

This month we will be doing exactly this. We will learn how to nurture and take care of ourselves, our needs and our emotions.

As we heal past trauma and inner wounds it’s important to create moments for yourself when you take a break, recharge and care for your needs.

This journey of becoming our best selves is not all about overcoming obstacles, facing wounds and being persistent without taking a look at ourselves.

It is crucial to take a moment and show loving care for ourselves. It is crucial to cater to our own needs because after all, we are human beings.

Yes we can crawl through everything, but it’s dishonorable to not reward yourself for everything you went through. So here is what we say you should do.

3 Things To Do This August To Be A Better Version Of Yourself:

1. Find what your essential unmet needs are and fulfill them.

We all have personal needs and desires. However, as we try to live up to society’s standards we tend to push these needs and desires away. But this is turning your back on yourself. If you need to take a day off, take it. Find what are your essential needs that you have left unmet and fulfill them for yourself. You can be imperfect and irresponsible for a day as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone. What do you need for yourself? Find out and meet your needs.

2. Let your emotions be free and accept them without judgment.

We tend to try and control our emotions. But all that we do is control our actions while suppressing our emotions. We cannot actually control an emotion, just as we cannot control the words that we read. We can control the actions we take based on those emotions, the message we understand and the lesson we learn, but we cannot control the emotion itself. Thinking that we control our emotions means we label them as right or wrong and put the wrong ones aside, somewhere within us. This is not just turning our back on ourselves, but we also fail to hear the message the emotion has to tell us. So this month let the emotions you’ve been suppressing within you free. Accept them as what they are and stop trying to control or change them. Stop resisting them. Dive into them. Feel them. See what they say to you. Do not judge them as neither emotion is bad by itself. Fully embrace them and love them. Stop being afraid of them as they cannot harm you. As you do this you will realize that these bottled up emotions will fade much quicker than you imagined. But you will also realize the messages they tell you are one of the most important and insightful lessons you can learn about yourself.

3. Go on a vacation or at least take spa day.

All of us need a vacation. Some say make your life like a vacation but you will need a vacation from such life too. It doesn’t matter how you live, taking time off from your regular activities, changing your environment and lifestyle is a need for everyone. It’s something we all need to recharge our batteries from the mundane everyday life. Just like a muscle needs a day off when you exercise it, you need a vacation to refresh and realign. If you are not in a position to take a 10 or 7 day vacation at least take a day off and go to the spa. Nurture your body, mind, spirit and heart. Whatever you do, just take a day for yourself with intent to show kindness and care, to recharge and to produce some feel good emotions. And not just one day, do one nurturing thing per day and see how you feel.

 

~via LifeCoachCode.com

DEJAN DAVCEVSKI: “This July Rant From The Heart — Get Up, Brush Off, Look Straight, Love Stronger…”

Every person, once they take a glimpse of their purpose, once their heart fills up with joy, motivation and excitement, thinks they can tackle anything on their way.

But as you start following your purpose, the joy, motivation and excitement slowly fade away because that’s normal for emotions. The path gets harder. You start facing obstacles.

Suddenly the people around you, people you love and care about turn against you. Some friends might even ridicule you. Others might think you are crazy.

Many people judge you, they question your sanity, you might even question your own sanity. False opportunities open up, distractions multiply.

Suddenly it seems that everyone around you is having more fun than ever but you have to follow your purpose.

You have to do things that bring you closer to your dream.

And let’s be clear, most of the things you need to do are not fun at all. They are mundane tasks that are necessary.

You might even doubt if it’s worth it.

And as you doubt there will be just enough push from The Universe and signs around you to remind you why you fo what you do.

And you will have just enough will to continue, if you choose to. And as you continue, more obstacles will come.

There will be moments all you want is to just take a breath, to pause for a second, but in those moments problems will arise. They will try to kick you when you are down.

And if you quit, you will be relieved for a day. But the next day you will do anything to not have quit.

Because when we are tired we want to rest, when we are cold we want to be hot, when we are thirsty all we want is to drink something.

But if we drink something unhealthy, at first we will feel better, but later we will regret. We regret it because it’s not what we really wanted.

It’s because our mind knows what you want momentarily, but if you listen to your heart it knows what you really want. And sometimes, what you really want will not be comfortable.

So as you follow your purpose, and as these obstacles start ganging up on you, beating you down, do not quit.

Take the beating, get up, brush up.

Look at them, look at them straight at their eyes, smile and keep doing what you did.

You will get closer to your dream, and then problems will arise again. And they will still try to beat you up.

But again, get up.

Brush up.

Look at them straight.

Smile and keep going even harder at tackling your dream.

People will judge, problems and obstacles will arise, distractions will show, you will doubt yourself, you will feel confused, you’ll be tired.

But if you don’t quit everything will pass.

As these things try to knock you down, they might sometimes succeed. But it’s ok. It’s not about who is stronger, it’s about who is more persistent.

Get up, brush off, look straight, and love even stronger!

And there will come a moment when these things cannot even hurt you anymore because their beating has made you stronger.

And you’ll thank them as you make your beautiful dream a reality and follow your purpose.

 

 

~via LifeCoachCode.com