DEJAN DAVCEVSKI: “How To Get Out Of Victimhood Mentality And Thrive In Life”

There are two ways to live, either that things happen against you, or for you. In this article we’ll tell you how to get out of victimhood mentality.

What is victimhood mentality? It’s this flawed way of thinking, a mindset where you think the circumstances are against you for some reason.

It gives us an inflated sense of self importance and that’s why it’s so addictive. We think we are so important that the whole world is against us.

We believe that there are limits, people and circumstances preventing us from being happy. It’s someone else’s fault, not ours. This is a fierce prison.

It’s comforting, but it will enslave you indefinitely. When you get out of this mentality it’s when you will actually start to live again and to thrive.

5 Ways To Get Out Of Victimhood Mentality:

1. You do not lack anything.

One of the biggest false lessons we learn as we grow up is that we need something to make us complete.

The world teaches us through media, propaganda and stories that you need a soulmate, you need to be wealthy, you need a purpose to be happy.

The reality is that you do not need anything. You are complete and whole right here and now as you are reading this.

You don’t need anything. You are enough to be happy, to be yourself, to start becoming who you desire to be. The things you think you need are illusions.

They are a carrot on a stick making you endlessly chase your own tail. So stop. You don’t lack anything to give your 100% right here and right now.

2. Nothing is happening ‘to you’.

Majority of people like to think that they are so important that when it starts to rain, for example, it’s because something is against them.

Tiny little beings, on a tiny little land, on a tiny little planet out of billions just in our Galaxy, planet that follows massive, interconnected systems.

And we dare to think that we are so important that all the mechanisms in our Galaxy conspired to create this rain, just so it will mess our hair.

The reality is that nothing happens to you. Things are neutral, but we need to feel important. It’s okay, but see things as happening ‘for you’ not ‘to you’.

3. The world is abundant.

There is one flaw in our mentality that makes us think the world is scarce of things. Scarce of resources, opportunities, things.

In reality, the world is so abundant of things that it’s hard for our mind to really grasp all the available options we have constantly around us.

There are countless opportunities every single second, all around you, countless things you can do and experience, countless resources.

There are so many books you can read, movies you can watch, songs to listen, meals to try, places to visit, art to see, it’s not possible to see 1% of it.

Just think about this. No matter what you want, if you go every single second of every single day doing it, you will experience less than 1% of it.

4. Nobody is stopping you.

If you are like most people you would find countless excuses of why you can’t do the things that you want to do. This is victimhood mentality.

In reality and in all probability, nothing and nobody is actively stopping you to do what you want to do. Think about this. Really do.

You want a better job, who stops you from leaving this one? You want to travel, who stops you? Want to find the love of your life, nobody stops you.

Really. No one does. You can get up, right now, and start walking. Go wherever you want. Right now.

That’s why you have a mind, to find a way. Instead of using it to complain, use it to find a way. Nobody stops you from living the life that you want.

5. No one owes you anything.

We often have this idea deep inside our subconscious mind that the world owes us something. That we deserve to have what we want to have.

And it’s okay to feel like you deserve to have the things that make you happy, but it’s not ok to think you deserve for something to just serve them to you.

Yeah, you deserve to be successful but you still have to work for it. That’s what deserving means, accepting that you would go the distance.

Feeling that you deserve all those beautiful things and that fact to motivate you to take necessary action. Nobody is responsible to give you anything.

The only one responsible for getting what you want to get is you. Just like everyone else is responsible for themselves. Nobody owes you anything.

 

~via LifeCoachCode.com

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SELF-MASTERY FOR THE DAY ~ Eric Raines on Triggers

What are your triggers? What sets you off?

 

Breathe into that feeling, inhale in your smile, exhale out what does not feel good, including your reaction to the trigger.

 

Train yourself not to react negatively to the trigger, then put it into action the next time it appears.

 

Magic.

 

~Eric Raines

 

~via Unleashing Natural Humanity

DEJAN DAVCEVSKI: “The 3 Best Mental Tools You Already Have That Will Help You Build A Better Life”

Most of us know how we want to live. We know exactly what we need to do, maybe even how, and yet less than 1% of the people are living on their terms. Why is this?

The short answer is that people lack proper education, nobody has told them that there are mental tools they can learn to use, nobody has showed them how.

Just like you need tools to build, for example a house, you need mental tools to build the reality you want to live in.

There are countless mental tools developed by people who were in desperate need of them. These people needed these tools so much that they created them to help themselves.

Before you go out exploring all the existing mental tools, here are the 3 best and most essential ones you will need to create a better life for yourself.

The 3 Best Mental Tools To Build Better Life:

 

1. The 5 Second Rule.

Most of you know “The 5 Second Rule” to be something that applies to food that you might have dropped. But this is a different rule.

This is a mental tool developed by TV host, author and motivational speaker Mel Robbins and it’s the main thing that helped her rise even higher when she was hitting rock bottom.

This so called “5 Second Rule” is really simple. All it means is that whenever you want, or need, or should do something, count from 5 to 1 and lift off into action.

Mel first started using this mental tool in the mornings, when she felt like not getting out of bed. She started counting 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and on 1, without thinking, she just got up.

The truth is, you will never going to feel like it’s the perfect moment for taking action. However, with this simple tool you will have mental leverage to launch yourself into action.

2. Turn ANTs Into PETs.

So, of course, we are not talking about actual ants. ANT is short for Automatic Negative Thoughts and PET is short for Positive Encouraging Thoughts.

Dr. Daniel G. Amen got the idea when his home was infested with ants. He looked at the real ants and realized that most people have minds that are infested with negative thoughts.

Most of us think the same 90% of the thoughts every day, and most of these thoughts are negative. There are over 20 mental distortions that twist our reality to seem more negative.

There is an easy tool that Dr. Daniel developed, to turn ANTs into PETs, and it’s in a form of asking yourself 5 simple questions whenever you notice a negative thought.

Is the negative thought true? Can I absolutely know that it is true? How do I react when I feel this thought? Who would I be without this thought? What’s the opposite thought?

3. What’s Pulling, What’s Pushing?

If you are like most of us, you have had a dilemma when you didn’t know what to choose between two or more choices. Most of us have such dilemmas daily.

And this is normal. However, most people don’t really know how to choose the best out of all their conflicting options.

There is a simple mental tool you can use, in a form of 2 simple questions that will clarify so many things for you.

Whenever in a dilemma between two choices ask yourself “What’s pulling me in that direction, love or fear, abundance or scarcity?”

Now ask yourself “What’s pushing me in the opposite direction, love or fear, abundance or scarcity?” Choose the options that are inspired by abundance and love.

 

~via LifeCoachCode.com

CONSCIOUS REMINDER: “Leave The Past In The Past, And Start Living In The Now”

A lot of people are living proof of how they can be captured in the claws of the past. Signs which show that you are living in the past are many, but you need to be strong enough to recognize them.

Here are actions you should use in order to live in the present.

1. Don’t escape the moment

Life is a battle, trying not to face with the reality will cause you bigger problems. Facing the fear will hell you to overcome it. After dealing with every issue, you will be stronger as a person, and you will appreciate every minute spent in the present.

2. Embrace your pain

Everything that life serves to us, is served with a reason. You should embrace that and move on. Pain and suffrage are part of life, and we cannot avoid them. They makes us stronger, and enrich us with experience.

3. Ground yourself

No matter what your problem is, you need to stay grounded. In order to achieve this you can go outside, put your arms on tree, focus, and feel the object, analyze what you are hearing and feeling. You are here now, and there is no other place that you need to be.

4. Project a better future

What you are surviving now, will make you a stronger and smarter person. You deserve a better future, so with new experiences you are capable enough, to reconstruct your project for your future. Don’t be anxious, make your dreams become reality.

5. Remember what didn’t go wrong

Experience is the best thing that you can get from your past. Learn from the mistakes, and try not to copy them in the present. Think before you act, and you will build your life as if it was an empire.

6. Welcome new joys

You need to get free from the claws of the past, and let happiness to enter in your soul. You should give yourself another chance, and move on with your life. Live your life fully, for yourself and for the people around you.

7. Make necessary changes

Changes will make you to stay in present, not to lose yourself, and to stay focused. Eliminate the fear from new things, change your job, your home, meet new friends. Break the monotony down.

Once you do this, you will see how all of the pieces in your life are getting into their place. And it is really satisfying to watch, believe me.

 

~via ConsciousReminder.com

NEZEL PADAYHAG: “5 Types Of Fear That Are The Opportunities To A Positive Change In Your Life”

Considered to be an emotional response triggered by an imminent threat, our fear is the greatest challenge we all need to face and overcome in our life.

If our fear is always being avoided, it will become a monster that locks us up in the dark prison of our minds.

We hide, we run, we act stupidly just to avoid fear. And the more we resist it the bigger monster we create of it.

The truth is, fear has full control of us because we don’t live in the present moment, but in our mind, and in our mind fear can be anything.

Fear is a protective program, it’s not against you. But if we let fear to make the decisions for us it will protect us to the point where we find ourselves locked within our own prison.

Behind every fear there is a truth that needs to come out into the open. Every kind of fear is just a door that hides some truth inside.

Once you find the courage to open what’s hidden inside, you will find the biggest opportunities for growth and evolution in your life.

There are different types of fear. We are affected by different type of fear at different points in our life depending on what we need most for growth and what holds us back.

Here are the 5 most common fears that are disguises for big opportunities. Find the one that has the biggest effect on you right now and see what kind of truth it’s within.

5 Types Of Fear That Are The Opportunities To A Positive Change

1. The fear of change.

You’re afraid of change because familiarity breeds comfort. Like a child who doesn’t want to lose sight of his mother on the first day of school, you don’t want to get out of your comfort zone because it’s where you feel protected and secure.

But as you grow older and start to see the world, you realize how small your awareness had been.

Had you not let go of the sight of your mother, you would not have known another world that is open for you to explore.

If you’re afraid of change, you deprive yourself of growing, evolving, and of testing your limits. The fear of change keeps you locked up in an unhappy place, be it a toxic relationship or unfulfilling career.

This fear is an opportunity to accept the inevitability of change and proactively step out of your comfort zone and grow. It highlights the limits of your comfort zone so you will know where growth and evolution begin.

2. The fear of being alone.

Most often, the fear of being alone is prompted by your own feelings of insecurity. You don’t feel secure with yourself because you feel you’re not good enough on your own.

You have been used to relying on other people for your security and happiness. Dependence isn’t the same with sharing and working together.

Being separated from your mother as early as infancy makes you feel disconnected. As a child, you have an unmet need that needs fulfillment.

But as you grow up you can take care of yourself. This dependency, if not overcome, creates a fear of being alone.

And ironically, if you do not spend time alone you cannot prove to yourself that you can be just fine by yourself, hence, you cannot overcome this illusion of dependency.

If being alone is one of your fears, it only means you need to work on your self confidence and self worth.

Once you’re confident to spend time being alone, without feeling less, you will find your own self worth. You will begin to see that a lot of people are like family.

Look into this fear and provide comfort to your inner child. It’s one way of healing yourself from this fear.

This fear is an opportunity for you to become self sufficient and independent. It highlights all the things you think you cannot do by yourself. Look at these things and do them by yourself. Each activity will reveal more of your self worth.

3. The fear of standing for your own truth.

Being conditioned to get validity from others for every word that you say leads you to be afraid of standing for your own truth.

Even if you know your idea is much, much better than that of the common belief, you refuse to speak thinking others might disagree.

This fear might have started in your childhood when you experienced bullying or when you were ridiculed by your immediate family or caregivers for saying your truth.

As a result, you guard yourself against anything that doesn’t feel comfortable, hiding your true self.

But your truth is a gift not anyone possesses. No one can see things the way you do. When you follow your own truth, you attract like minded people who want to live freely like you.

The way to get out of the cocoon you have built for yourself is to open up and be your genuine self.

This fear is an opportunity for you to be and express more of yourself. It highlights where you are incongruent in your reality. Use this knowledge to tell your truth and your reality will reshape with things you love and resonate with.

4. The fear of trying.

You’re afraid to try because of the possibility of failing, or succeeding, which is what terrifies us the most.

It’s normal to fail. Only a few endeavors succeeded with the first try. Most successes passed through the bridge of failures. And we think we want to succeed.

But most often, we are terrified of both of them. In fact, we are afraid of trying because it means we will face reality and it’s either not the way we think it is, or it is and we are right.

Either we are wrong and we cannot fantasize anymore, or we are right and we might get the results we want and they are disappointing in reality.

In both cases, we cannot fantasize about our results. We face reality and we either fail or see it’s not like we fantasized.

The fear of trying comes from loving our fantasy for the result more than the result itself. But reality is better than fantasy, even if it’s not exactly how we fantasized it.

This fear is an opportunity for you get what you want to get. It highlights the things that really matter to you. Use this fear to see the things you really want to get, however, let go of fantasizing and try to actually get them.

5. The fear of rejection.

The fear of rejection has something to do with being afraid of not being good enough. It’s how society conditioned us to feel.

But if you’re able to tweak your mindset a bit you’ll see that rejection only means something better is within you and you are not showing it.

If you believe your lack of certain skills caused you to get rejected, then do something to improve those skills.

If you are scared of being rejected because you doubt you are good enough, open yourself to rejection.

In both cases you will improve yourself to be the best version of yourself. The point of this is the realization that the rejection has nothing to do with who you really are.

If you get rejected it has nothing to do with the real you. We are all good enough, but thinking that some outside factor can validate us makes us not good enough.

Open yourself to these things and be rejected, you’ll either see all the skills you want to improve or you’ll see they were never really a factor to tell your worth.

This fear is an opportunity for you to become the best version of you. It highlights all the things keeping you from becoming your best self. You do this with giving your power away to them by seeking validation. You decide your own worth.

 

~via LifeCoachCode.com