DEJAN DAVCEVSKI: “How To Get Out Of Victimhood Mentality And Thrive In Life”

There are two ways to live, either that things happen against you, or for you. In this article we’ll tell you how to get out of victimhood mentality.

What is victimhood mentality? It’s this flawed way of thinking, a mindset where you think the circumstances are against you for some reason.

It gives us an inflated sense of self importance and that’s why it’s so addictive. We think we are so important that the whole world is against us.

We believe that there are limits, people and circumstances preventing us from being happy. It’s someone else’s fault, not ours. This is a fierce prison.

It’s comforting, but it will enslave you indefinitely. When you get out of this mentality it’s when you will actually start to live again and to thrive.

5 Ways To Get Out Of Victimhood Mentality:

1. You do not lack anything.

One of the biggest false lessons we learn as we grow up is that we need something to make us complete.

The world teaches us through media, propaganda and stories that you need a soulmate, you need to be wealthy, you need a purpose to be happy.

The reality is that you do not need anything. You are complete and whole right here and now as you are reading this.

You don’t need anything. You are enough to be happy, to be yourself, to start becoming who you desire to be. The things you think you need are illusions.

They are a carrot on a stick making you endlessly chase your own tail. So stop. You don’t lack anything to give your 100% right here and right now.

2. Nothing is happening ‘to you’.

Majority of people like to think that they are so important that when it starts to rain, for example, it’s because something is against them.

Tiny little beings, on a tiny little land, on a tiny little planet out of billions just in our Galaxy, planet that follows massive, interconnected systems.

And we dare to think that we are so important that all the mechanisms in our Galaxy conspired to create this rain, just so it will mess our hair.

The reality is that nothing happens to you. Things are neutral, but we need to feel important. It’s okay, but see things as happening ‘for you’ not ‘to you’.

3. The world is abundant.

There is one flaw in our mentality that makes us think the world is scarce of things. Scarce of resources, opportunities, things.

In reality, the world is so abundant of things that it’s hard for our mind to really grasp all the available options we have constantly around us.

There are countless opportunities every single second, all around you, countless things you can do and experience, countless resources.

There are so many books you can read, movies you can watch, songs to listen, meals to try, places to visit, art to see, it’s not possible to see 1% of it.

Just think about this. No matter what you want, if you go every single second of every single day doing it, you will experience less than 1% of it.

4. Nobody is stopping you.

If you are like most people you would find countless excuses of why you can’t do the things that you want to do. This is victimhood mentality.

In reality and in all probability, nothing and nobody is actively stopping you to do what you want to do. Think about this. Really do.

You want a better job, who stops you from leaving this one? You want to travel, who stops you? Want to find the love of your life, nobody stops you.

Really. No one does. You can get up, right now, and start walking. Go wherever you want. Right now.

That’s why you have a mind, to find a way. Instead of using it to complain, use it to find a way. Nobody stops you from living the life that you want.

5. No one owes you anything.

We often have this idea deep inside our subconscious mind that the world owes us something. That we deserve to have what we want to have.

And it’s okay to feel like you deserve to have the things that make you happy, but it’s not ok to think you deserve for something to just serve them to you.

Yeah, you deserve to be successful but you still have to work for it. That’s what deserving means, accepting that you would go the distance.

Feeling that you deserve all those beautiful things and that fact to motivate you to take necessary action. Nobody is responsible to give you anything.

The only one responsible for getting what you want to get is you. Just like everyone else is responsible for themselves. Nobody owes you anything.

 

~via LifeCoachCode.com

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DEJAN DAVCEVSKI: “The 3 Best Mental Tools You Already Have That Will Help You Build A Better Life”

Most of us know how we want to live. We know exactly what we need to do, maybe even how, and yet less than 1% of the people are living on their terms. Why is this?

The short answer is that people lack proper education, nobody has told them that there are mental tools they can learn to use, nobody has showed them how.

Just like you need tools to build, for example a house, you need mental tools to build the reality you want to live in.

There are countless mental tools developed by people who were in desperate need of them. These people needed these tools so much that they created them to help themselves.

Before you go out exploring all the existing mental tools, here are the 3 best and most essential ones you will need to create a better life for yourself.

The 3 Best Mental Tools To Build Better Life:

 

1. The 5 Second Rule.

Most of you know “The 5 Second Rule” to be something that applies to food that you might have dropped. But this is a different rule.

This is a mental tool developed by TV host, author and motivational speaker Mel Robbins and it’s the main thing that helped her rise even higher when she was hitting rock bottom.

This so called “5 Second Rule” is really simple. All it means is that whenever you want, or need, or should do something, count from 5 to 1 and lift off into action.

Mel first started using this mental tool in the mornings, when she felt like not getting out of bed. She started counting 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and on 1, without thinking, she just got up.

The truth is, you will never going to feel like it’s the perfect moment for taking action. However, with this simple tool you will have mental leverage to launch yourself into action.

2. Turn ANTs Into PETs.

So, of course, we are not talking about actual ants. ANT is short for Automatic Negative Thoughts and PET is short for Positive Encouraging Thoughts.

Dr. Daniel G. Amen got the idea when his home was infested with ants. He looked at the real ants and realized that most people have minds that are infested with negative thoughts.

Most of us think the same 90% of the thoughts every day, and most of these thoughts are negative. There are over 20 mental distortions that twist our reality to seem more negative.

There is an easy tool that Dr. Daniel developed, to turn ANTs into PETs, and it’s in a form of asking yourself 5 simple questions whenever you notice a negative thought.

Is the negative thought true? Can I absolutely know that it is true? How do I react when I feel this thought? Who would I be without this thought? What’s the opposite thought?

3. What’s Pulling, What’s Pushing?

If you are like most of us, you have had a dilemma when you didn’t know what to choose between two or more choices. Most of us have such dilemmas daily.

And this is normal. However, most people don’t really know how to choose the best out of all their conflicting options.

There is a simple mental tool you can use, in a form of 2 simple questions that will clarify so many things for you.

Whenever in a dilemma between two choices ask yourself “What’s pulling me in that direction, love or fear, abundance or scarcity?”

Now ask yourself “What’s pushing me in the opposite direction, love or fear, abundance or scarcity?” Choose the options that are inspired by abundance and love.

 

~via LifeCoachCode.com

CONSCIOUS REMINDER: Staying Present In The Now — Here’s What You Can Do To Pursue Your Dreams”

Every one of you has probably noticed that regardless of how hard you try, you cannot make your long-run plans anymore. It just means that when you try even harder, you will probably make certain things happen.

However, today’s lives are not working in that way anymore. Instead of making plans and then working hard on them, you are guided to ask for someone to guide you and set your intentions about the following two or three steps towards that same intentions.

However, unless that guidance comes, nothing is going to work well, no matter what you do.

“Making the things work” ended.

The time of ‘making the things work’ has ended. Are you waiting for your guidance to show up? Are you permitting your life to open out just as it is going to? For a lot of people, this may seem like you are standing still.

However, when you remain still for a more extended period, you can notice that the approach does not mean not taking any action, but it is simply about staying here and be present, to every level of your knowing and being.

Staying very present is aware action.

When you stay present at every level means that you are taking conscious action. So, it will allow you to be right in that present moment — entirely.

It is going to put your focus here and right now. You will look toward your future, but you are not really overlooking what happens now, as you are quite busy as you focus on far off goals.

To be and remain present will allow your soul to come next to you entirely. So, this is the place from where guidance of everything you have to do appears — your soul.

Your soul wants to be the creator of your life.

Your soul wants to live inside you and through you. This is the reason why it creates the conditions which require you to widely open to it.

Also, that is why your soul drives the shift in your human experience. It wants to create your life with you. It also intends to be the co-creator of your life and even the rest of this world.

It seems like the soul has conspired. It does not let your long-term plan to work as you want, as it wants you to become more present and long enough, so it may come into you more entirely.

Deep breathing, meditating, or journalling are some things which you can do in order to connect with your soul and also become profoundly present. A lot of people do these things or take actions in this simple way.

What is going to happen when there is a specific thing waiting inside our imagination, and which desires to actually be born within us?

Usually, it may feel as our difficulties can make our dreams look like they are impossible to happen, so we will not believe that it will occur for us. Also, it can look like the ones that achieved higher levels of success actually have a better, to begin with than other people have.

But, success cannot come overnight, although every one of us has the chance to achieve it. When we faced tough times and struggles, most of us that were successful started bad and also experienced heartbreaking difficulties and struggles first, and that made us find the other self that transformed us.

So, at times we feel like we are not getting anywhere, we should not surrender, because the dream and idea were planted in our minds for some specific reason and it is all on us to show it — we can do it!

We should not get bitter, but get BETTER.

At a time of misfortune and rough times, we will probably think why us?

However, those times do not imply that we need to be stuck there forever. Tough and difficult times occur to every one of us, and the way we overcome those times is what later on determines our lives. Sometimes, such times can destroy us and lead us to take become addicts of drugs and alcohol. However, when such strong emotions may get focused on our purpose and dreams and gain a more constructive form, it will be time when every single thing may turn around.

A person named Helen Keller, the one that was born blind, deaf and dumb, and who marked the history of the great of life, is actually the evidence that regardless of the circumstances, a person can never be defeated.

 

“Every single failure or traumatic experience can come with a seed of equivalent success.”

~Napoleon Hill

 

The person who changed this whole world, as he invented cars, named Henry Ford, comes from a family that was uneducated and poor. However, he was working with everything he possessed, and he never waited for something to occur by chance. Instead, he followed his dreams, so the world also changed as a result of his great work. Moreover, Thomas Edison has failed about 10,000 or more times, without giving up of his dream.

There is just one difference between the ones that succeed and the ones that don’t, and that is never surrendering.

Here, we will present you the six steps to make your dreams become a reality.

The six steps for specific goals by Thomas Edison:

1. Focus on your mind and the most particular thing you desire.

2. Think about what would you like and try to do and give in order to get what you want.

3. Schedule the event.

4. Write openly about what you really want, put the right time, and mention what you have the intention to give — then, describe all that clearly.

5. Then, read that statement two times a day prior to going to sleep, and also when you wake up.

6. In the end, convince yourself about it being yours.

We are not supposed to wait for chance or luck, because everyone that succeeds what he or she wanted did that with great hope, and wishing and also mental work prior to acquiring it.

 

~via ConsciousReminder.com

JUDI LYNCH: “Practicing Spiritual Optimism”

“Learning how to live in the light of the spiritual consciousness while still in human form on the Earth is no easy task. How do we balance these two worlds together so that it makes sense?”

~Judi Lynch

 

The Earth needs our Spiritual Optimism now to create the energy to heal it. If we know right and wrong in our humanity, if it is possible to become part of the human mind to inherit not to hurt another living being, then let that spiritual optimism be our goal.

Practicing Spiritual Optimism

Have you ever known someone who, no matter what you say, continues to respond negatively to your suggestions after asking you for advice? Even if it appears they are destined to complain for a lifetime, remember that your words may just take more time to sink in. You might hear later, “I thought about what you said.” Also, there is more than just one answer to a life challenge, and the solution depends on the person along with the unique circumstances they are facing. We as humans operate on different levels of understanding. It’s not a judgment of good or better but of vibration, soul level, and maturity. We are on this Earth in a giant classroom filled with every ridiculous mixture of blood, bones, and consciousness through zillions of lifetimes spinning along in our own little universe. How do we stay optimistic when there is a divide, unrest, and hatred all around us?

Energy is something we can take responsibility for. Optimism creates an energy of hope and manifestation. If we want to manifest success and true ability to assist others in raising their vibration, it is imperative that we learn to control our energy fields. If we are still bitter, unforgiving, judgmental or seeking revenge, we will create a very shaky ground in which to walk our talk of living in loving spirit. If we could only look at someone and see the beauty of their face. The trueness of their heart through their soulful eyes, reading their words of pain and cry in empathy for what they have endured, we are learning. We learn how to recognize these feelings because we have felt them in the past and we sought out ways to heal them. We hold space for their tears. We also know that there is healing in letting those feelings evolve into a higher form of learning. Forgiveness, clarity, acceptance, compassion, and charity. Not only for others but for ourselves as well.

Spiritual Optimism is learning to flow with the lessons and glow with the blessings. If we are aware of our thoughts, words, and actions concerning our challenges, we can stop the self-doubt and criticism from bringing us and our vibration down. It’s okay to feel angry. It’s okay to feel slighted sometimes. It’s holding onto the feelings and letting them define us that makes us pessimistic. Anyone who tells you that thoughts don’t matter or that we are destined to live as our ancestors are listening to the voice of negativity. Soul mastery takes courage and perseverance. It takes a big heart but well worth the investment.

Learning how to live in the light of the spiritual consciousness while still in human form on the Earth is no easy task. How do we balance these two worlds together so that it makes sense? Very carefully it seems. If we go running off on cloud nine because we can feel the spirit, Intuit for others and heal by channeling energy then forget to pay the electric bill, it will get mighty cold in the house. If we know, there is more to this life than traffic jams, mean people and yes, bills, we are blessed to be sure. Many people have no clue what they are doing, why they are here or how they got here. It doesn’t mean they won’t learn over a lifetime of love, mistakes, missteps, crazy adventures and misguided fortune hunting.

Knowing what you believe in can help keep you optimistic as well. It gives you a base of peace to know that you have purpose and meaning. Helping others not because you were asked to but because it is a part of who you are. The human mind intertwined with the soul spinning in harmony and balance is the real power in our spiritual evolution. How long it takes us to get there is an arguable subject. The Earth needs our optimism now to create the energy to heal it.

The energy of hope can permeate the minds of those who have the power to help change it. If we understand this, we understand how history can be used about what to and what “not” to do. If we know right and wrong in our humanity, if it is possible to become part of the human mind to inherit not to hurt another living being, then let that optimism be our goal.

 

 

~via OMTimes.com

PAUL LENDA & CHRISTIE SHELDON: “16 Ways to Bring Positive Energy Into Your Life”

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You’ve felt it.  You’re in a group of people, and somebody walks in with a black cloud hanging over their head.  Their energy repels you, and you may find your own mood affected by it.  So how can you NOT be one of those people?  We all have bad days, but with a few simple tricks, you can avoid letting that black cloud grow and hover over you.

1.  Do not dwell on the negatives.

Stuff happens.  It’s how you respond that matters.  If you choose to be victimized by what happens, your negative energy will gain momentum.  Instead:

 —Stop thinking about it if there’s nothing you can do to improve it  (if a thought comes up about that situation, do not allow it to continue — force yourself to think about something else).

 —Do not talk about it anymore than you absolutely have to.  Don’t give it energy!

 —Find the blessings and lessons in the situation.  This may take some time, but if you stay busy looking for them, you won’t dwell on how something negatively impacted you.

2.  Do not speak of your problems, diseases, illnesses or worries.

The more energy you give what is wrong, the more it persists.  Yes, we all need to vent once in a while but if you vent, or even when you’re just thinking about what’s wrong, here are some rules:

 —Don’t think or say: “I’m so sick, I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck!  I don’t know how I’m going to get through the week!”  Do think or say: “I caught some bug but I’m taking good care of myself and I’m feeling better every day!”

 —Don’t think or say: “This job is terrible! My boss is a jerk and nobody appreciates me!”  Do think or say: “I’m looking for a better job and meantime I’m trying to learn as much as I can so I benefit. In fact, my boss is the perfect example of how not to treat employees!”

3.  Love and accept yourself.  As you are.  NOW.

It’s easy to beat yourself up about what’s wrong, but how much energy do you give to your positive qualities?  Do that more.  For every negative comment you make about yourself, give yourself FIVE compliments.

4.  Let go of the past.

You can’t undo anything.  It’s done.  Forgive others, forgive yourself… learn from your mistakes, learn from others’ mistakes, remember that NO unkind or thoughtless action ever comes from love but from a place of deep inner pain  (you can be compassionate to that pain without condoning the acting out of the pain) and release the energetic burden you carry: grudges, resentments, pain, hurt, disappointments, sadness, anger, guilt… let it all go.

5.  Don’t give away your power or your happiness.

Remember that when you criticize, judge or blame others, you are choosing to focus on what they’re doing wrong or what’s wrong with them — and you give these people the power to control your mood and state of mind.  Ask yourself why somebody’s behavior irritates you so much that you allow yourself to get upset about it.  Why let others’ behavior affect your mood?  Why give them the power to control your happiness?  Instead of criticizing, judging or blaming, find something you can compliment them on.

6.  Do not say yes when you mean no.

Honor your needs, priorities, time and energy!  You’ll resent it.  Save your precious time and energy for things that are meaningful to you, or in instances where others ask you to do something, make sure that it brings you satisfaction and joy.  Otherwise, politely decline.

7.  Laugh!  Smile! 

Surround yourself with upbeat people who make you laugh.

8.  Be grateful.

Appreciate the many blessings, but also appreciate the struggles and frustrations.  How have you become enriched because of them?

9.  Don’t worry.

Use your imagination to visualize what can go right, instead of what can go wrong.  Train yourself to visualize the best-case scenario.  Be solution-oriented, not problem-oriented.  Think only about the ideal situation, not the current problematic situation.

10.  Run it off.

Exercise physically removes you from your problems, and it also removes you mentally.  If you’re worried about something, you need to give your brain a chance to process things.  Exercise will flood your system with feel-good endorphins, release stress and in the middle of a long bike ride, walk or swim… or in the middle of the climbing wall, you may suddenly have an epiphany.  Or, at least for a while, you will be fully present and not worried about the future.

11.  Be present.

Speaking of being present, be interested in what you’re doing, no matter how “boring” or “mundane” it may be — quotes intended, because any activity can be made as interesting as you are willing to make it.  This will keep you in the moment and will keep your mind off your troubles and worries.

You have the power to control your mood.  Use these positive-energy-boosting exercises every single day.  Before long, you will be the high-vibrating ray of sunshine that brightens everyone’s mood!  We all have the ability to look to our mind for ways to not only dissolve that sadness, but to cultivate such a positive state of mind that we won’t fall easily back into melancholia.

There are many ways in which we can cultivate positive energy five ways to transform your mindset from darkness into light, sadness into happiness.  May they also help lift up your soul.

12.  Appreciation

When you appreciate someone, you’re tuned into their positive qualities and express your empathy and gratitude for them.  It’s a simple way to refresh yourself and establish heartfelt connections with ourselves and others.

With so much beauty all around us, it is easy to show our appreciation to others, and nature, on a daily basis.  Try appreciating the simple things you might take for granted, for example, a deep relaxing breath of crisp outdoor air or the pleasurable radiant warmth of the sun at noon.  Or the thing we should be the most grateful for  (but the one we often forget) — that we’re alive and so fortunate to experience each and every day.

As you do this, try to focus completely on the good this experience offers you and acknowledge that you — and only you have created it — no matter how it came to you.  Regardless of your condition or circumstances, there will always be something that you can find to appreciate.

13.  Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the moment-to-moment experience of peace and understanding that occurs when the suffering of someone who feels injured has their suffering reduced as they transform the grievance that initiated that suffering.  By embracing the feeling of forgiveness as something that can help us, we accept it as an aspect of acceptance, love, peace, and truth instead of experiencing hatred, negativity, and falsehood — all of which are faces of resentment.  By being forgiving, we acknowledge that people make mistakes and release the emotional burden that holding a grudge has on us.

14.  Selflessness

When we are selfless, we shift our focus onto the needs of others, rather than keeping it on ourselves.  It’s the practice of being unselfish and minimizing the gratification of the ego’s wants and desires.

In order to make the life-redefining shift from selfishness to selflessness, go and focus on the well-being of others.  This can be done in countless ways.  You can clean up your life and surrender a fully healed body, heart, mind and soul to others when entering a relationship.

You can also be ready to share any amount of time needed by others whenever they need it  (don’t allow yourself to be used, however).  Be happy with your life and with whatever you are offered by others.  Whenever you are sure to give your very best, you are receiving exactly what ever you need for your greatest possible benefit.

15.  Wonder

Experiences of wonder can lead us to a sense of transcendence and realization of higher states of consciousness.  From a mystical perspective, it relates to affirmation, as wonder openings reveal the infinite and the source of all that is, which operates as gateways to uniting experiences.

Buddhism muses that distinctions limited to relative or empirical reality are just an illusion; resulting in the continuation of anguish, pain and frustration because we become alienated from experiencing reality through the eyes of a child where everything was wondrous.  In short, wonder leads us tasting a unified and infinite existence that enriches our life experience.

16. Nostalgia

Nostalgia is a yearning for a return to some past period or seemingly irrecoverable condition that’s seen in a positive light.

Studies have found that people who have a heightened level of nostalgia have higher self-esteem and are less prone to depression.  Thinking of good memories for just 15 or 20 minutes a day can make you more cheerful than you were the week before, and happier than if you think of your current life.  Nostalgia is a very potent mood booster, so if you seem to be in a bit of a funk, think about good memories of times past and you will experience higher self-esteem and feel more positive about friendships and close relationships.

~via In5D.com