SELF-MASTERY FOR THE DAY ~ Eric Raines on Triggers

What are your triggers? What sets you off?

 

Breathe into that feeling, inhale in your smile, exhale out what does not feel good, including your reaction to the trigger.

 

Train yourself not to react negatively to the trigger, then put it into action the next time it appears.

 

Magic.

 

~Eric Raines

 

~via Unleashing Natural Humanity

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CONSCIOUS REMINDER: “Bringing Healing & Grace Back Into Your Life”

We should ask ourselves how frequently we see our sky, or touch our earth, and look at the mountains in the distance. We are just a small part of this changing, expanding, and ever-growing nature world, although modern technology consistently suggests the opposite. Stress will appear if we are not grounded properly, and when we lose our connection to the Mother Earth.

We shouldn’t underestimate the powers that the change of the four seasons brings, in order to awaken our spirit.

Since ancient times, people considered spring as the female persona that brings a rebirth of warmth, light, new life and new growth with it. We will also welcome the infusion of our Divine Feminine, every gift of God’s feminine face.

Spring comes after the long winter sleep melts away, making ourselves open to the opportunities for healing and hope that the new season will bring.

As we take a look around us, much work has to be done. Divine Feminine brings us gifts which we need in order to bring peace, balance, harmony, compassion, and love to this troubled world.

Feminine spirit’s power lives in women and men too, and they may be cultivated just like flowers in spring. If we use them to heal our inner world, we can also bring them to heal, save, help, and rescue our outer world.

We should ask ourselves what we would do with all those powers of our Divine Feminine connection. Are we going to bring shelter for the homeless, food to the starving children, end ward, heal and comfort the sick, the heartbroken, and the suffering?

There are numerous possibilities, but from where we should start?

These are the five ways which will help us wake up our spirit during the spring season and also call forth every gift that we wait to flourish with:

Nurture

We should take proper care of the incredibly miraculous human being that we are. Are we the loving parents to our inner child, and do we treat ourselves with compassion, patience, and kindness?

Do we take into consideration our physical necessities for adequate sleep, regular exercise, and proper nutrition? Do we appreciate and love ourselves? Do we practice gratitude for all our lessons, blessings and experiences?

Heal

We should ask ourselves about how we create wholeness and wellness within. Do we have some regular practices in order to connect to the Source?

Prayer and meditation will be the best possible practices to increase our light and keep our psyche healthy. Connecting to some power which is higher than us will ease pain, fear, anxiety, and fear, and it will create inner peace too.

Grow

We should ask ourselves how frequently we see our sky, or touch our earth, and look at the mountains in the distance. We are just a small part of this changing, expanding, and ever-growing nature world, although modern technology consistently suggests the opposite.

Stress will appear if we are not grounded properly, and when we lose our connection to the Mother Earth. Peace and happiness will come from simply immersing ourselves in the sounds, sights, textures, and scents of the outside. We are going to lose our feeling of presence and belonging if we don’t expose ourselves to nature regularly.

Express

We should ask ourselves if we look within, striving to appreciate and understand our feelings and thoughts. Do we find some ways in which we can express our authentic life experience? Keeping a journal is going to help us develop our capacity to express ourselves.

Recording our impressions and ideas may help us find some patterns in our thinking in order to help us know ourselves. Knowing more means growing more. While we grow, we are going to have tools which we need in order to express ourselves, share our ideas, or build, and even strengthen our relationships.

Serve

We should ask ourselves if we serve simply by placing warm meals in front of homeless veterans or by merely showing struggling children how they can read stories or solve math problems.

Every act of serving the world starts with our inner sense of aim and even connection to our fellow beings. Our inner spiritual works are going to create our inner peace that the world will see reflected as hope, encouragement, and love.

 

~via ConsciousReminder.com

FIONA REILLY: “Four Tips for Effective Listening”

The gift of being heard is something really precious. Having someone listen attentively to our expression or story is very healing and can enable us find our own understanding, acceptance, balance and joy again. Listening sounds like a very simple thing and indeed it is, yet many of us struggle to listen effectively. Being a good listener requires being present and fully attentive to the other. It is not about offering advice or fixing anything or making the other feel better, it’s simply being there and paying attention.

 

“Whatever life we have experienced, if we can tell our story to someone who listens, we find it easier to deal with our circumstances.”

~Margaret J. Wheatley

 

Four Tips for Effective Listening

So how might we listen more effectively… there are many things that can help! Below I outline four suggestions that I have found to be fundamental to good listening.

Be Present

Initially, it is vital to be present and with the speaker, to give them our full attention. If possible find a quiet place for a listening exchange where you are unlikely to be disturbed. Turn off phones and any background noise. Honour your boundaries, if you feel you only have 20 minutes to listen, say so at the beginning so the boundaries are clear or explain that now is a not a good time and arrange to connect when the time is right. To the best of your ability come from a place of acceptance and compassion and avoid judgement of them or their story. Be fully attentive to them and the energy between you.

 

“Listening is such a simple act. It requires us to be present, and that takes practice, but we don’t have to do anything else. We don’t have to advise, or coach, or sound wise. We just have to be willing to sit there and listen.”

~Margaret J. Wheatley

 

Simply Listen

Many of us want to try to fix and make things better for the other person, yet the most beneficial way is for them to work through whatever is arising and to find their own solutions. The way to help someone feel better is to encourage them to be with their pain or confusion or whatever their experience is, to explore it and then they may feel empowered to move through it. Telling someone they need to be strong or things will get better or something similar isn’t effective longterm and can be disempowering. So try not to fix the situation or offer solutions unless they are invited. When listening our purpose isn’t to make a person feel better, simply by having their experiences heard in a non-judgemental and accepting way can allow things to shift and heal.

 

“The human soul doesn’t want to be advised or fixed or saved. It simply wants to be witnessed — to be seen, heard and companioned exactly as it is.”

~Paul Parker

 

Focus On the Speaker’s Perspective

While it’s useful to be able to identify with their experience, telling someone of your similar experience is not usually helpful, so try not to habitually compare their situation to one that you have experienced. It is of course fine if you are having a two way conversation, however if you want to encourage a person to explore their experience, your story isn’t what they need to hear, at least not until they have worked through their own stuff. It can take from what the speaker is saying and turns the attention away from them. Occasionally it may be appropriate to share your own experience, use your intuition on when that feels right. You could check with the speaker if they’d like you to share what happened to you, though mostly I find it best to stay with what the speaker is sharing.

In order to acknowledge their experience and what they have shared, you can reflect back to them what you heard them say, for example “You felt very angry when that happened”. Such a reflection does a number of things, it shows that you are listening, that their feelings or expressions are valid and enables them to go into more depth around the issues. In focussing on the other person you may notice the subtleties of body language, tone of voice… etc., which can sometimes indicate more than their words and again if appropriate you can reflect back what you notice.

Don’t engage in a drama or exaggerate the situation, sometimes what is being shared may arise feelings in you, acknowledge these internally though put them aside you can always return to explore them yourself at a more appropriate time.

Become Comfortable With Silences

For many silences or gaps in conversation cause discomfort and they rush to fill the quietness with something. However allowing a silence lets the speaker know that you are there for them and ready to listen when they are ready to speak. Speaking in order to break a silence usually ends up in directing the speaker in a different direction, than what may have otherwise arose next. If you do feel to ask questions, do so for clarity and understanding. The facts or details usually don’t matter. If you do feel to ask questions try to keep them open ended, you could you phrases like “How was that for you?” to encourage more disclosure or as I mentioned earlier reflect back what you have just heard.

Acknowledge Pain

This is an excellent video relating to how to support a grieving friend and the principles offered could be used with other challenging situations, not only grief. The way to help someone feel better is to encourage them to be with their pain, to explore and accept it and then they may feel empowered to move through it.

 

“One of the easiest human acts is also the most healing. Listening to someone. Simply listening. Not advising or coaching, but silently and fully listening.”

~Margaret J. Wheatley

 

With loving gratitude for all those who have shown me how to listen well and for my continued learning. I wish you well with your listening explorations,

Fiona

 

~via WakeUp-World.com

PHILOSOPHY FOR THE DAY ~ Eric Raines on Toxic People

“It is about you and your healing after all. We have the ability to create boundaries for those with none and in this process we find our self-worth… we begin to value ourselves.”

~Eric Raines

 

~via Unleashing Natural Humanity

CONSCIOUS REMINDER: “Don’t Give Up On Love”

Love is the biggest and the most potent force in our whole Universe. Love makes this world go around. Love is the glue which holds every single thing together.

It is also the true nature within us, so when we try to give up on love, we slowly give up on the person we really are. We slowly give up on our real nature, and we feel disconnected, confused, and disoriented.

Giving up on love will be the biggest possible mistake that a person can make. We cannot give up on something which is in us, or which is us.

When we do that, it means that we give up on ourselves and our lives. Without the presence of love, there will be nothing left.

We will frequently hear someone saying that he or she gives up on love, or that love hurts, or that he or she is afraid of loving again, and so on.

Well, people are really ignorant. They don’t have a clue about what love really is. They think that it is the primary source of pain and suffering, but they are completely wrong.

Loving is not what hurts. Loving is not the thing that causes people to feel heartbreak and pain, but rather their attachment to the ways in which things have to be or don’t have to be.

A lot of people find themselves in controlling relationships, instead of the loving ones. They control and pretend actually to know what the best for one another is, or they deprive themselves of the needed and wanted freedom.

Rather than permitting each other to express themselves and live their lives as their souls actually intended for them, authentically and freely, they get in each other’s way.

They influence and interfere with the destiny of one another, not positively, but negatively, and sometimes destructively too.

Love is simply about loving each other, and not about hurting. Love isn’t interested in trying to cage or change each other, or in controlling one another. Love simply wants to love as that is the only thing it knows.

Those people that were injured and hurt emotionally in a relationship they were in should know that love does not have the responsibility for that.

It also means that loving is not what they have to give up on but it is their attachment or the many distorted and toxic ideas they have and which are related to love.

People tend to compare love with distorted and toxic things too, claiming that they know the purpose of love; the truth is, they know just a little or simply nothing related to it.

When we start a relationship, and we have different expectations, wanting our partner to be this or that, or hoping our love is never going to end, we cannot help ourselves but suffer.

This suffering is never going to come from our love; instead, it will come from our attachment to the way things have to be and our attachment to our partner.

Things can go bad and relationships can end. However, it would not be the world’s end, and it should not be our loving life’s end too. We have to understand that the life which we live is ours and only ours.

Love is not about holding ourselves onto someone that is next to us. In fact, love would be about feeling that someone, permitting him or her to do, to be, and also to go everywhere his or her soul has him or her to go.

People should always have in mind that love will never hurt them, as it just knows how to love.

They should love themselves with all their might or love others in their lives, although they may not deserve that. They should remember that they should never give up on love!

 

~via ConsciousReminder.com