JEAN M. TWENGE, PhD: “Is Donald Trump Actually Insecure Underneath?”

I’m often asked how you can spot a narcissist. Here’s my standard list:

  • Brag or show off
  • Name-dropping
  • Name brands or flashy possessions
  • Look at themselves in the mirror a lot
  • Turn the conversation back to him/herself
  • Insults others
  • Declarations about being the “best” or “great” without details
  • Emphasizes his/her status

I wrote that list two years ago — long before Donald Trump started running for president. Yet it could have been written just for him. As others have pointed out, the Donald is a textbook case of narcissistic personality. He is clearly functioning well and thus can’t be classified as having narcissistic personality disorder, the clinical-level form, which by definition only describes someone whose traits are causing them difficulty. Trump, instead, displays narcissism as a personality trait — the type we focus on in The Narcissism Epidemic.

Here’s the question: Is Trump’s narcissism a cover for insecurity? This is known as the “mask model” — the idea that grandiose narcissism is a show to distract people from the deep psychic pain underneath. A recent piece in Time made this claim, arguing that Trump is trying to cover for a “profound insecurity and lack of self-esteem.”

Here’s the problem: At least for grandiose narcissism like Trump’s, there’s no evidence that the mask model is true. Narcissists have high self-esteem on average, not low, and the most aggressive people are those with both high narcissism and high self-esteem. Children who become narcissistic are not those shamed by their parents, but those told they are special.

Perhaps the best evidence comes from studies measuring self-esteem in a subtle way, such as with an implicit self-esteem measure recording people’s reaction time in pairing words like “I” and “me” with words like “bad” and “good.” People who score high on grandiose narcissism also score high on implicit self-esteem. In other words, deep down inside, narcissists think they are awesome.

This is also just plain common sense: Does Trump really seem like he is insecure underneath? Does he seem to be in a state of psychic pain, or even covering for one? No — he’s having the time of his life. So why does he seem to crave all of the attention and adulation? The Time article argues that Trump is trying to fill a deep “psychic hole.”

I have a more straightforward explanation: He likes all of the attention because he thinks he deserves it. It’s never enough not because of psychic pain, but because he thinks everyone should pay attention to him. Attention is fun and gratifying; it has nothing to do with insecurity.

Why the Mask Model of Narcissism Is Dangerous

I will go further: I think it’s dangerous to believe that narcissists are insecure underneath. Not only is it not supported by empirical evidence, but it promotes the idea that the way to deal with narcissists is to boost their self-esteem and heal their “wounds” through more love and affection. This is like suggesting that the way to cure obesity is by giving everyone more doughnuts. The narcissistic person who ruins relationships through his self-centeredness does not need more love or attention — he needs to get kicked to the curb. The young adult who takes advantage of everyone around her does not need her self-esteem boosted — she needs to learn responsibility.

Narcissism is known as the “disease that hurts other people,” and the cure for it is real life — losing a relationship because of selfishness, losing a job because you’ve alienated people. Yes, we should try to understand narcissists and realize that their behavior is explained by this personality trait. But that does not mean we should believe that they are actually insecure — that myth undermines our understanding of narcissism because it presumes that it’s only skin-deep.

Many, many people have been hurt in relationships with narcissists by believing that they can change the person with more love. If only that were true — but sadly, most of the time, it’s not. We can have empathy for people with narcissistic traits, but that does not mean we have to believe they are suffering underneath. Most of the time, they are making other people suffer. They won’t suffer themselves until bad things start happening to them, often as a consequence of their narcissism. It is sad, but it is not due to insecurity.

Trump is not insecure. We should not be looking for the source of his “psychic pain” or expect that someday he will break down and show his true, doubting self. He really does think that he’s that great, and that his ideas are that great. If we believe otherwise — about him or anyone else with these traits — we risk underestimating the true power of the narcissist.

 

~via PsychologyToday.com

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LISA RENEE (Time Shift Blog): “People Taking Offense”

“Since people with narcissism have distorted views of themselves, they tend to perceive any positive interactions as expected and any negative interactions as personal attacks. They are particularly sensitive to perceived negative attacks because they live in a pseudo-reality or delusional state about themselves in relation to others. They may genuinely believe they are superior to others, so when positive reactions come their way they may take them for granted.”

~ Sharie Stines, PsyD

 

The Epidemic of People Taking Offense, While Tolerating Abusive Behavior as Okay

Dear ES Family,

The title of this article has been like wildfire in my inbox and has been increasingly observed in the social media landscape for many years now. Many people are taking offense and getting offended over minutiae, splitting hairs and getting really angry over nothing, while they ignore much larger issues that they actually should be concerned about. With this in mind, seeing this pattern escalate into epidemic proportions in the worldscape, this article is dedicated to the discussion of what it means when you are feeling offended, or when others get angry because they are offended at someone or something. When people are offended, it means their ego got bent out of shape when there was a disagreement and they did not get what they wanted. Many people get angry as a means of attempting to exert control over a person or situation. Maybe they didn’t like the way something or someone responded to them, or the way a particular situation is being expressed or represented.

I notice that most people get offended by what they imagined to be happening, rather than the actual event and taking the time needed to get more accurate information for a factual understanding to verify what really happened. Usually the person is angry about something that never happened to begin with, they imagined something in their mind or misunderstood the message and they remain offended while perpetuating the narrative of their personal delusion. It is quite unnerving at times to observe this unstable behavior in action, because it feels like a severe breakdown in treating others with respect and human courtesy, along with a rapid digression of critical thinking, mental clarity and balanced perception. The inability to see beyond a tiny slice of information, from which a personal interpretation or bias has been gathered from the limited lens of negative ego and the acquired 3D fractured belief systems.

Over the years, it has been interesting to note a pattern surface in the new age rainbow type of person that can get really offended so easily, when it would seem logical if they really did identify with love and light, they would be all about propagating love and kindness towards others. Most of it is a facade. Some of the most cruel and unstable people I’ve encountered over the years, are those that subscribe to the new age bliss out pill, complete with fake smiles and flowery words. No one wants the hidden wrath of a new age astral junkie when you confront their beliefs!

  • Take offense (at) (something)
  • To be or feel insulted, offended, or humiliated by something.
  • Take offense (at someone or something) to be insulted by someone or something.
  • Feel resentment or emotional pain, as in I didn’t realize he’d take offense when he wasn’t invited.

For many people, the tendency to take offense at little things is rooted in a false perspective of security in what the negative ego has created as the nature of the outer reality, according to that person’s belief system and mental perceptions. When that sense of reality or personal expectations are not met in the way that they wanted it to be, the ego gets offended and angry. We can see that this type of behavior has been increasing in the millennial or digital generation, in which the derogatory term, snowflake has been used to describe. The slang term snowflake may include a person perceived by others to have an inflated sense of uniqueness or an unwarranted sense of entitlement, or to be over-emotional, easily offended, and unable to deal with opposing opinions. Common usages include the terms special snowflake, generation snowflake, and snowflake that are commonly used as a politicized insult.

The term “snowflake generation” was one of Collins Dictionary’s 2016 words of the year. This tells us things are changing in the social landscape in the US. Collins defines the term as the young adults of the 2010s, viewed as being less resilient and more prone to taking offense than previous generations. The terms generation snowflake and snowflake generation are frequently used in reference to trigger warnings and safe spaces, or to describe young adults as “anti-free speech”, specifically in reference to a practice referred to as “no-platforming”. The term has also been used to refer to a reported increase in mental health issues among young adults.

All people would like to have a sense of personal security and safety; most people prefer to have the good opinion of others and want to feel that they belong. In our society, we tend to secure those good opinions with outer performance and images that are not always based in the truth, but of the false persona that we show to others in order to be accepted and belong. This need to belong somewhere informs what we do, how we speak, how we dress, how we express ourselves in our world and present oursleves to others.

When our security is based on our outer performance and image, we may feel threatened when someone expresses something that is perceived to be negative or unflattering about us. The undisciplined unconscious and conscious mind reaction to that threat is to take offense or become angry. Even a casual, flippant, or offhand remark can gnaw at us and steal our peace. The way to prevent taking offense is to address our desire for personal security, which comes from self awareness and building the core authentic self. As long as feelings of security are rooted in our negative ego and false self, the tendency to take offense, even at the little things, will exist. If, however, our feelings of security are not rooted in the negative ego’s perception of our outer performance and outer image, our perspective will change and our responses to the actions and comments of others will become much more balanced. We gain incredible strength when unconditional love is reborn as our new unifying principle, our true core self’s spiritual power and human dignity surfaces, and we are no longer shattered and overwhelmed by life’s circumstances.

Now let’s add another ingredient of severe ego distortion that results in narcissism where the perceived offense takes on wrath and rage. These people take getting offended to another level, which can show up with the f bombs and other choice words from random people becoming unhinged. Clearly, as spiritual catalysts we are triggering random people more often, and the NAA have been sending out the dark portals for assorted levels of harassment. Still it is obvious if one watches a youtube or comes into contact with social media, the insults, expletives, and character defamation tactics has gone to an entirely new level for public consumption. The subconscious content of the masses is spewing out to the surface for all of us to witness.

This is a good article.

How a Person with Narcissism Responds to a Perceived Offense
March 9, 2017 • By Sharie Stines, PsyD

Many people are simply not educated on the concept of the “narcissistic wound,” also known as the narcissistic injury, and are in for a wrath beyond comprehension when they offend a person with narcissism.

When offended, a typical person might experience hurt feelings or feel insulted or angry. However, the offended person might ultimately talk it through with the individual who committed the transgression, with a willingness to repair the relationship and move on. This can take time.

In general, bonds are developed and strengthened through the process of “rupture and repair.” People learn to handle insecurities in a relationship by building trust over time as they see each rupture or conflict in the relationship eventually leads to a deeper connection or repair.

Not so in the narcissistic relationship. Offending a person with narcissism can lead to immediate, lasting, and perhaps irreparable fallout.

When dealing with a person with narcissism, the rules are different. This is true in all aspects of the relationship, but for this article, the focus is on the narcissistic wound. These types of wounds are unlike other types of interpersonal ruptures. These differences are listed below:

Typical Rupture Themes:

*Hurt feelings
*Reaction tends to better match the perception of offense
*May result in anger
*May take time to repair
*Is eventually resolved
*Normal
*Offended person may react with anger, withdrawal, or repairable retaliation

Narcissistic Wound Themes:

*Shame attack
*Extreme overreaction
*Results in rage
*Causes existential threat to relationship
*Is never resolved
*Pathological
*Dr. Jekyll becomes Mr. Hyde
*Person with narcissism reacts with punishment, banishment, devaluing, or discarding of offender

Since people with narcissism have distorted views of themselves, they tend to perceive any positive interactions as expected and any negative interactions as personal attacks. They are particularly sensitive to perceived negative attacks because they live in a pseudo-reality or delusional state about themselves in relation to others. They may genuinely believe they are superior to others, so when positive reactions come their way they may take them for granted.

People with narcissism generally feel an inner emptiness and thus need positive input from others in order to maintain their delusional sense of reality. When anyone contradicts their fantasy views of themselves, they get close to those unbearable empty feelings and react strongly in order to stop their impending sense of inadequacy.

People with narcissism tend to have a chronic inner rage. Most people experience anger, usually a response to a perceived threat of some kind. Anger helps us realize when we need to take action, and quickly. Usually when people are angry, they temporarily suspend their cognitive functioning and empathy to a large degree and tend to operate in immediate terms.

Since they are continually full of rage (the flip side of their internal shame), people with narcissism may use any slight as an excuse to release some of the pressure of this inner rage/shame struggle. article – http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/how-person-with…ived-offense-0309174

With the ongoing dedication to clearing negative ego and emotional distortions in the pain body, we must learn to inherently place value on our own self worth, and to be responsible to own our emotional triggers. We also must know how to set healthy boundaries and be able to let things that bother us go. In the times we live, it is a critical survival tool to learn how to let it go and not let hurtful or harmful words said by others, eat away at you inside, disturbing your inner peace.

Being easily offended is a habit that we all can overcome. It usually indicates poor understanding of one’s own emotions in favor of the strategy of trying to change the behavior of others. But, since we’re all autonomous beings, we are only able to change ourselves, this includes how we understand and react to the world around us. A commitment to changing oneself rather than trying to force the changes we want to see on others, is a valuable choice that requires humility and open-mindedness. Here is a productive article for Understanding the Emotions Behind Taking Offense.

https://m.wikihow.com/Keep-From-Being-So-Easily-Offended

I hope this is helpful in navigating these types of scenarios, which seem to be escalating in the outer landscape.

With a Loving Heart,

Lisa

(source: Wiki – Snowflake, Understanding Emotions Behind Taking Offense)

 

 

~via EnergeticSynthesis.com – Time Shift Blog – July 18, 2018

NENA: “If Someone In Your Life Possesses These Characteristics It’s Best To Stay Away From Them”

“Whatever the reason narcissists and sociopaths mistreat you and try to convince you that you are the problem, it’s time to end this. Making plans for the future with such person is like trying to walk through a brick wall — impossible and dangerous for your health and wellbeing.”

~NeNa

 

Being in a relationship with a narcissist or a sociopath is difficult on many levels, but one of the most ironic and infuriating things is when they try to convince you that you are the one who is crazy.

You would think how they can use psychology against anyone when they have so many psychological problems? And, why do they do that over and over again?

Before telling you the two possible reasons why narcissists and sociopaths shift the blame on you, here are some of their personality traits explained by Psychology Today.

Personality Traits of Narcissists

—A sense of self-importance (wants and expects to be seen as superior to others regardless of the level of their achievements)

—Preoccupation with success, power, beauty, brilliance

—The belief that they are special and can’t be understood by “common” people

—Interpersonally exploitative

—Lack of empathy

—Arrogance, envy, haughty behavior

Personality Traits of Sociopaths

Sociopaths possess some of the characteristics of narcissists, plus the following:

—Deceitful

—Inability to conform to social norms

—Impulsive

—Aggressive

—Irresponsible

—Lack of remorse and financial commitments

—Disregard for the safety of those around you

So, if you have someone in your life that possesses these characteristics, it’s best to stay away from them. And, if that person happens to be your partner, well you are in a toxic relationship.

These kinds of people will do everything until you believe you are the problem and them. You may tirelessly look for the “wrong” part of your character, but the truth is, you’ll never find it.

So, the question is, why do they do that?

Reason #1 — Their Superiority Complex

Narcissists have a superiority complex which makes them believe they are faultless. They can’t accept that they have done something wrong so somehow they always find a way to make you responsible.

That’s because they are manipulators just like sociopaths are. They will make you believe it’s your fault and not theirs. Even if you don’t accept the blame, you’ll find yourself analyzing the situation over and over to see if you did or said something wrong.

Even though no one is perfect, the very fact that you are worrying if you are the sociopath or narcissist in the relationship makes you aware of the problem – something that no sociopath or narcissist does.

Reason #2 —Transferring Their Issues on You

That’s why they often include their psychosis too. They see you as the one who’s dishonest, manipulative, and with lack of empathy and describe you as such in front of others.

But, you can’t change someone’s perception of you, so don’t even try to fight against it. Instead, let go and move on.

Final Words

Whatever the reason narcissists and sociopaths mistreat you and try to convince you that you are the problem, it’s time to end this. Making plans for the future with such person is like trying to walk through a brick wall — impossible and dangerous for your health and wellbeing.

Being stuck in a relationship with a narcissist or sociopath can cause huge emotional damage. That’s why it’s crucial that you leave that person as soon as possible.

Leave them without a chance to persuade you to stay because they will succeed thanks to their manipulative skills. And, once you leave them, stop communicating with them. Don’t answer their calls and block their social media profile.

Otherwise, they will try to trick you into believing them. If you have kids together, consult a qualified therapist to work out a “parenting plan.”

 

 

~via GottaDoTheRightThing.com

MICHELLE WALLING: “Narcissism, Alter Egos, and The Event”

“Forgive others for their narcissistic behavior and move on, for it is a part of the control matrix that was created to separate humanity and to steal their energy.”

~Michelle Walling

 

My research over the years of the big picture of Earth’s hijacked Matrix system inevitably led me to the Wes Penre papers a few years ago. After taking a break from social media, Wes is back with a new YouTube channel and is co-creating with his partner, Ariel Glad. Together, they are creating a series of videos of the most important current topics in their research. In this article, I expand on Wes’ work on narcissism as well as offer solutions on how to separate ourselves from narcissists and self serving humans.

There is actually a medical diagnosis for narcissistic people called Narcissistic Personality Disorder. According to Psychology Today, Individuals with this disorder exhibit a lack of ability to empathize with others and an inflated sense of self-importance. According to the same site, “The hallmarks of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are grandiosity, a lack of empathy for other people, and a need for admiration. People with this condition are frequently described as arrogant, self-centered, manipulative, and demanding. They may also concentrate on grandiose fantasies (e.g. their own success, beauty, brilliance).

and may be convinced that they deserve special treatment. These characteristics typically begin in early adulthood and must be consistently evident in multiple contexts, such as at work and in relationships. People with narcissistic personality disorder believe they are superior or special, and often try to associate with other people they believe are unique or gifted in some way. This association enhances their self-esteem, which is typically quite fragile underneath the surface. Individuals with NPD seek excessive admiration and attention in order to know that others think highly of them. Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder have difficulty tolerating criticism or defeat, and may be left feeling humiliated or empty when they experience an “injury” in the form of criticism or rejection.”

Narcissistic behavior can be a result of implants, negative walk-ins, abuse, trauma, drug/alcohol addiction, and patriarchial/domination/control programming. I have witnessed the gamut of narcissistic behavior in the most “spiritually awakened” people as well as the most asleep high level corporate leaders. This abusive behavior is everywhere in our world, and in fact, living with a narcissist can actually cause you to mirror that narcissistic behavior yourself!

Most people do not even realize that they are allowing another being or fragmented egoic personality to speak and animate their body in a narcissistic manner (covert narcissists). In fact, some people are so unaware of their actions that they do not even remember their own actions or behavior. However, some are very aware that they are behaving in this manner, and usually these are the service to self negative reptilian/Anunnaki/Draco forces that are overtaking human bodies. If they haven’t completely overtaken the body, they could step in and out to influence existing incarnate souls to act in greed, lust, domination, and control (overt narcissists).

Many narcissists are created from having a narcissistic parent, and end up marrying some on just like their narcissistic mother or father. It’s all about energy siphoning and is a part of the big picture in this control matrix to continuously pit every human against each other.

Wes Penre and Ariel Glad give an accurate definition of narcissism and in my opinion are targeting one of the most prevalent issues with humanity today. By no means have I summarized all of the important information above on narcissism in the introduction to Wes’ video series. Please watch these three videos on narcissism to understand why people behave this way.

To follow more of Wes Penre’s videos, you can subscribe to his YouTube channel here:

https://m.youtube.com/channel/UC0RVai_3hFfJ75juEEcwNog

When a narcissist is covert, acting through someone who seems to have a good heart, it makes life very confusing. Passive aggressive narcissists use “gaslighting” as a technique to make you think that you are the one with the problem. It is important at this time to remove yourself from any abusive situations and to stop the draining of your energy.

From my experience with living with narcissistic people, you usually cannot explain to a narcissist what their problem is. It is like connecting a hose to yourself and allowing all of your energy to drain out. Usually, the “alter ego” is running the show while the original soul steps away from the body for a little vacation. In other words, the original soul cannot even hear you, and you feel like you are “talking to the hand”. You find yourself repeating yourself over and over and becoming more and more frustrated, as a narcissist is usually not willing to accept that there is anything wrong with their behavior.

In other words, the original soul cannot even hear you, and you feel like you are “talking to the hand”. You find yourself repeating yourself over and over and becoming more and more frustrated, as a narcissist is usually not willing to accept that there is anything wrong with their behavior.

The best thing you can do is to correct any reflective narcissistic behavior in yourself and be totally responsible for your actions and reactions. Eventually as you peel back the layers of your behavior you may realize that you can no longer be around someone who is not willing to do the same.

Self healing is grueling work and sometimes it seems as if there is no way everyone will be able to “wake up” out of the matrix spell. However, we have been receiving help as the recent waves of energy have been sweeping over the planet. It seems as if these waves are specifically designed to expose the shadow self for those willing to look, and to expedite self healing through light integration and transmutation.

It is my hope that we will have an “event” that will separate loving, compassionate, and awakened people from those who refuse to be responsible for their thoughts, actions, and words and who choose a narcissistic and service to self path. I feel as if there will come a time where controlling, psychopathic, and narcissitic people can no longer exist side by side with loving, compassionate, balanced, and healed humans. Once we vibrationally separate from the lower dense reality, we will have a chance to learn how to co-exist together in peace and balance in a new way, free from matrix programming and lower dissonant frequencies. In a way, we are striving to jump our consciousness through time to a place where we have already exited.

In summary, it is imperative that we are aware of how we are treating other people. It is also important to remove yourself from toxic situations that cause you to mirror the negative or narcissistic behavior back to the origin. Forgive others for their narcisstic behavior and move on, for it is a part of the control matrix that was created to separate humanity and to steal their energy. In my opinion, doing your own shadow work and healing from abuse and raising your vibrational frequency will result in becoming whole and balanced, and should be your priority as we move faster and faster toward a vibrational bifurcation and solution to the major issues humans face on this planet.

Thank you to Wes Penre and Ariel Glad for their new video series. I hope that the reader differentiates between my personal opinion and solutions and Wes and Ariel’s original messages. When I reference another person’s work, I do not intend to add my own thoughts to their work, but often I cannot report on something or present an issue via someone else’s work without providing some of my life’s work of progressive solutions to pervasive issues.

For detailed information about the Anunnaki and the “virus” in the matrix, you can read The Wes Penre papers here:

http://wespenre.com

 

 

~via HowToExitTheMatrix.com