DEJAN DAVCEVSKI: “How To Get Out Of Victimhood Mentality And Thrive In Life”

There are two ways to live, either that things happen against you, or for you. In this article we’ll tell you how to get out of victimhood mentality.

What is victimhood mentality? It’s this flawed way of thinking, a mindset where you think the circumstances are against you for some reason.

It gives us an inflated sense of self importance and that’s why it’s so addictive. We think we are so important that the whole world is against us.

We believe that there are limits, people and circumstances preventing us from being happy. It’s someone else’s fault, not ours. This is a fierce prison.

It’s comforting, but it will enslave you indefinitely. When you get out of this mentality it’s when you will actually start to live again and to thrive.

5 Ways To Get Out Of Victimhood Mentality:

1. You do not lack anything.

One of the biggest false lessons we learn as we grow up is that we need something to make us complete.

The world teaches us through media, propaganda and stories that you need a soulmate, you need to be wealthy, you need a purpose to be happy.

The reality is that you do not need anything. You are complete and whole right here and now as you are reading this.

You don’t need anything. You are enough to be happy, to be yourself, to start becoming who you desire to be. The things you think you need are illusions.

They are a carrot on a stick making you endlessly chase your own tail. So stop. You don’t lack anything to give your 100% right here and right now.

2. Nothing is happening ‘to you’.

Majority of people like to think that they are so important that when it starts to rain, for example, it’s because something is against them.

Tiny little beings, on a tiny little land, on a tiny little planet out of billions just in our Galaxy, planet that follows massive, interconnected systems.

And we dare to think that we are so important that all the mechanisms in our Galaxy conspired to create this rain, just so it will mess our hair.

The reality is that nothing happens to you. Things are neutral, but we need to feel important. It’s okay, but see things as happening ‘for you’ not ‘to you’.

3. The world is abundant.

There is one flaw in our mentality that makes us think the world is scarce of things. Scarce of resources, opportunities, things.

In reality, the world is so abundant of things that it’s hard for our mind to really grasp all the available options we have constantly around us.

There are countless opportunities every single second, all around you, countless things you can do and experience, countless resources.

There are so many books you can read, movies you can watch, songs to listen, meals to try, places to visit, art to see, it’s not possible to see 1% of it.

Just think about this. No matter what you want, if you go every single second of every single day doing it, you will experience less than 1% of it.

4. Nobody is stopping you.

If you are like most people you would find countless excuses of why you can’t do the things that you want to do. This is victimhood mentality.

In reality and in all probability, nothing and nobody is actively stopping you to do what you want to do. Think about this. Really do.

You want a better job, who stops you from leaving this one? You want to travel, who stops you? Want to find the love of your life, nobody stops you.

Really. No one does. You can get up, right now, and start walking. Go wherever you want. Right now.

That’s why you have a mind, to find a way. Instead of using it to complain, use it to find a way. Nobody stops you from living the life that you want.

5. No one owes you anything.

We often have this idea deep inside our subconscious mind that the world owes us something. That we deserve to have what we want to have.

And it’s okay to feel like you deserve to have the things that make you happy, but it’s not ok to think you deserve for something to just serve them to you.

Yeah, you deserve to be successful but you still have to work for it. That’s what deserving means, accepting that you would go the distance.

Feeling that you deserve all those beautiful things and that fact to motivate you to take necessary action. Nobody is responsible to give you anything.

The only one responsible for getting what you want to get is you. Just like everyone else is responsible for themselves. Nobody owes you anything.

 

~via LifeCoachCode.com

Advertisements

CONSCIOUS REMINDER: “Bringing Healing & Grace Back Into Your Life”

We should ask ourselves how frequently we see our sky, or touch our earth, and look at the mountains in the distance. We are just a small part of this changing, expanding, and ever-growing nature world, although modern technology consistently suggests the opposite. Stress will appear if we are not grounded properly, and when we lose our connection to the Mother Earth.

We shouldn’t underestimate the powers that the change of the four seasons brings, in order to awaken our spirit.

Since ancient times, people considered spring as the female persona that brings a rebirth of warmth, light, new life and new growth with it. We will also welcome the infusion of our Divine Feminine, every gift of God’s feminine face.

Spring comes after the long winter sleep melts away, making ourselves open to the opportunities for healing and hope that the new season will bring.

As we take a look around us, much work has to be done. Divine Feminine brings us gifts which we need in order to bring peace, balance, harmony, compassion, and love to this troubled world.

Feminine spirit’s power lives in women and men too, and they may be cultivated just like flowers in spring. If we use them to heal our inner world, we can also bring them to heal, save, help, and rescue our outer world.

We should ask ourselves what we would do with all those powers of our Divine Feminine connection. Are we going to bring shelter for the homeless, food to the starving children, end ward, heal and comfort the sick, the heartbroken, and the suffering?

There are numerous possibilities, but from where we should start?

These are the five ways which will help us wake up our spirit during the spring season and also call forth every gift that we wait to flourish with:

Nurture

We should take proper care of the incredibly miraculous human being that we are. Are we the loving parents to our inner child, and do we treat ourselves with compassion, patience, and kindness?

Do we take into consideration our physical necessities for adequate sleep, regular exercise, and proper nutrition? Do we appreciate and love ourselves? Do we practice gratitude for all our lessons, blessings and experiences?

Heal

We should ask ourselves about how we create wholeness and wellness within. Do we have some regular practices in order to connect to the Source?

Prayer and meditation will be the best possible practices to increase our light and keep our psyche healthy. Connecting to some power which is higher than us will ease pain, fear, anxiety, and fear, and it will create inner peace too.

Grow

We should ask ourselves how frequently we see our sky, or touch our earth, and look at the mountains in the distance. We are just a small part of this changing, expanding, and ever-growing nature world, although modern technology consistently suggests the opposite.

Stress will appear if we are not grounded properly, and when we lose our connection to the Mother Earth. Peace and happiness will come from simply immersing ourselves in the sounds, sights, textures, and scents of the outside. We are going to lose our feeling of presence and belonging if we don’t expose ourselves to nature regularly.

Express

We should ask ourselves if we look within, striving to appreciate and understand our feelings and thoughts. Do we find some ways in which we can express our authentic life experience? Keeping a journal is going to help us develop our capacity to express ourselves.

Recording our impressions and ideas may help us find some patterns in our thinking in order to help us know ourselves. Knowing more means growing more. While we grow, we are going to have tools which we need in order to express ourselves, share our ideas, or build, and even strengthen our relationships.

Serve

We should ask ourselves if we serve simply by placing warm meals in front of homeless veterans or by merely showing struggling children how they can read stories or solve math problems.

Every act of serving the world starts with our inner sense of aim and even connection to our fellow beings. Our inner spiritual works are going to create our inner peace that the world will see reflected as hope, encouragement, and love.

 

~via ConsciousReminder.com

MATEO SOL: “12 Signs You’ve Lost Your Authenticity and Are ‘Selling Out'”

Authenticity is a big buzzword these days.

“Be more authentic,” “honor your authenticity,” “find your authentic self” — we hear these phrases scattered all over the internet and spoken about everywhere.

But what does being authentic mean? And most importantly, how can we tell when we’re being inauthentic — also known as “selling out”?

What is Authenticity?

Authenticity is the state of simply being yourself, listening to who you really are, and making decisions that align with your beliefs and values. Authenticity at its core is about deeply accepting all that is ‘you’ and honoring it above ALL else.

What is Inauthenticity (i.e. Selling Out)?

Inauthenticity, on the other hand, is about placing external things above your genuine values, needs, dreams, and artistic vision. When we ‘sell ourselves out’ we are essentially placing all of the most important parts of ourselves up for auction. Instead of making decisions based on our genuine beliefs, values, and personal style, we make decisions based on how much money, attention, fame, or acceptance we will gain from other people.

Examples of Authenticity vs. Inauthenticity

Sometimes reading examples helps to flesh out abstract concepts like authenticity. Here are a few examples taken from real life:

An artist has been contacted by a large publishing agency. They would like to mass produce her art but on the one condition that she change the titles and descriptions. Deep down, the artist knows that the titles and descriptions of her art are intrinsic to her work. She refuses the publishing agencies offer. She has made an authentic choice.

A father sees how gifted at writing his teenage son is. But instead of encouraging his son to pursue a career in writing, the father pressures his son to study business and accounting because it is the “safe” choice. The son then dutifully studies business and accounting in university. Both father and son have made inauthentic decisions.

A life coach who specializes in online mentoring wants to grow her business. In order to get more clients, she focuses solely on what is trendy and popular and writes/talks about those topics. She begins to lose touch with her original vision. She has become inauthentic.

A company is pressured by investors and shareholders to change its philosophy in order to be more “hip,” appeal to the new generation and make more profit. The company refuses to compromise their philosophy. They have made an authentic decision.

12 Signs You’ve Lost Your Authenticity and Are Selling Out

We are not perfect people. Perfection is an illusion. Therefore, it is guaranteed that at some point in your life, you will make an inauthentic decision that compromises your values, vision, or beliefs. It’s just part of being human!

Although we can’t be perfect, we can strive to be more conscious. Self-awareness and honesty are the two key qualities we need to prevent ourselves from slipping into bad choices.

If you’re concerned that you might be “selling out,” read the signs below. They will help to either confirm or challenge your feelings:

  • Your top priority is making bucket loads of money

  • You’re obsessed with getting new followers, fans or subscribers (e.g. on social media)

  • You let others make decisions for you

  • You let others dictate who you are + who you ‘should’ be

  • You follow the crowd and do what everyone else is doing

  • You always follow trends even if they don’t make sense to you

  • You reveal only what makes you look good

  • You copy other people and their style/lifestyle

  • You ignore your gut feelings and intuition

  • You wear a mask around others
    You’re scared to be vulnerable and express your true feelings, thoughts, or values (which may be unpopular)

  • You make decisions based on how much attention, fame, money or acceptance you’ll receive rather than your genuine beliefs, values, or vision

Take a few thoughtful moments to make a serious assessment of the list above. Evaluate each point with an honest heart.

How many can you relate to?

How to Stop Selling Out

 

“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.”

~B. Brown

 

I want to make a clear distinction here. There is a difference between selling yourself and selling out.

Selling yourself, in business and career fields, is about highlighting your genuine strengths and gifts, and offering those to the world. Selling out, on the other hand, is about compromising your personal integrity and letting external things drive you instead of internal qualities.

Also, not everyone has the liberty of making authentic decisions — but I want to emphasize that these situations are literally survival situations. For example, if a small business owner from an impoverished country was approached by a wealthy businessman who wanted to invest in and change his company, do you think it would be smart to decline? In certain environments and situations, making choices that go against our creative vision is essential in order to survive. But if you’re blessed to live in more fortunate circumstances where you’re not literally faced with starvation or anything else equally serious, then making authentic decisions is an intelligent way to live life.

Why is being authentic intelligent? Because you are listening to your heart and nurturing your soul. Money, fame, adoration, and approval from others will quench your ego’s need for safety and control — but that only lasts for so long. Soon, you will be left with a big, empty, gaping hole inside. The true joy, inner peace, and fulfillment come when you are living your truth and putting your essence out into the world.

So how do you let your essence — your passions, perspectives, and values — guide you? Here are some ideas; many of which I have discovered across my own authenticity journey:

1. Pay attention to how the decisions you make feel physically. Do you feel uncomfortable, heavy or dark sensations? Or does your body feel light and energized? Unlike the mind, the body cannot lie. Your body is the best lie detector out there. If you are about to make a decision that does not align with your values, your body will immediately feel and express that. Pay attention to warning signs such as heaviness in the heart area, tensed muscles, lightheadedness, cold shivers, and even physical cringing. Your physical warning signs will be unique to you (and can’t all be listed here), so search for them diligently.

2. Get your priorities straight. At the end of the day, what will TRULY fulfill you? Think about this question very carefully. Will you ultimately be happy with truckloads of followers, clients, money, or a lavish lifestyle, without feeling like you’ve stayed true to yourself? Money is important, don’t get me wrong. But how much money do you actually need in order to be happy and feel fulfilled? You might also like to explore what your main driving forces are: are you driven by power, success, fame, wealth or your individual and unique style, talents, passions, visions, and desires to make an impact? Focus on nailing down your main motivating force and ask yourself, “Is this healthy? Is this aligned with who I truly am?”

3. Explore inauthentic areas in your life. Intentionally carve out time and space to assess your life – that might even mean just sitting here as you’re reading this article and doing a bit of quiet reflecting. Think about areas in your life that you’re unhappy with. Have you lost your authentic voice in that area … or is the issue something else altogether? This process takes honesty. Write down every choice, commitment, and behavior that feels out of alignment with your deepest passions, perspectives, and values.

4. Make the hard choices. Once you’ve identified the inauthentic areas of your life, it’s time to act. You will need to carve out a plan — possibly multiple plans — to regain a sense of personal integrity. Ask yourself questions such as, “What must absolutely go and what can stay?” “What is true to me and what is false?” “What options do I have?” “What is the potential loss and gain in this situation?” “What is the best scenario and worst scenario?” “What is my plan A and plan B?” “What am I clinging to for dear life?” Use a tool like journaling to help you get out your thoughts, feelings, and plans in a coherent, organized, and structured way.

5. Integrate the experience with self-compassion. Once you have made the necessary change, it’s time for reflection. How did it feel to make such big (or small) changes? What parts of you felt threatened? What did you find it easy to let go of and difficult to surrender? How does it feel to walk your own genuine path? How can you avoid making inauthentic decisions in the future? These are all the kind of vital questions you’ll benefit from asking and exploring. Most importantly, integration is about accepting our humanness and all the frailty that comes along with it. Embrace your mistakes, forgive yourself, and let your hard-earned lessons make you stronger and wiser.

In this loud, confusing, and overwhelming world, it can be easy to slip into the role of selling out your integrity and authenticity to gain power, fame, or money. We are bombarded with messages from the media, social media, our colleagues, and even our friends and family members to be anything other than what we are. But in order to live fulfilled and soul-driven lives, we need to put a firm foot down. We need to learn when to say “no” and forcefully draw the line and protect our integrity.

I hope this article has inspired you to preserve your artistic vision, inner values, or deeply held passions. What makes life beautiful is how unique and varied it is. I hope you share your own unique flavor of authenticity with the world!

What is your experience with selling out? Do you have any tips to share surrounding integrity and authenticity?

Finally, I’ll leave you with a final quote. Tell me in the comments, do you agree or disagree with this statement below?

“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.”

~Andre Gide

 

~via WakeUp-World.com

CONSCIOUS REMINDER: “If You Want To Keep Something — Let It Go!”

The biggest revelation was to find out that the only way to keep something or someone, is to let it or them go. It’s such a paradox.

The most important thing is to do it in your head. Really let go. Allow something to happen regardless of your strong will and desire.

Give someone the right to act the way he or she wants and do what he or she considers necessary. Feel it happening inside. Accept it and just go with the flow. Simply put, continue to live your life.

As I once, a long time ago, read in the books of Carlos Castaneda: “Never get attached to anything or anybody.”

I could not understand, how? And why? Because it is so good to have that heart-warming tight-knit connection with the person that means so much to you. How do we go without it?

And I just realized now: that’s the only way you can be free. More often than not, attachment becomes addictive.

And somewhere along the way, you lose yourself. You make somebody else’s life your own and, eventually, you stop living.

This applies to all sorts of addictions: cigarettes, alcohol, gambling, sex, a man, a woman.

The moment you realize that you can’t live and breathe without it, that’s when you truly need to let go. That’s the only way you will be yourself.

Give everybody the right of free will and choice. It’s not in the fashion of “so be it,” or “in spite of the enemies!”.

It’s a serene, pure belief that with or without the thing or the person you feel so attached to, you will be fine on your own.

It is important not to bind to the outcome. Because no one is obliged to agree with you. No matter how bad, unwise, and stupid someone else’s choices look to you, it’s just your judgement, your perception.

It’s your unwillingness to give the other the right to have their own opinion, feel their own feelings and take their own actions.

You are not have to agree with what they say or do, or even how they live their life.

On the other side, you shouldn’t feel responsible or obliged to justify their thoughts or actions, even less to explain why they are wrong.

The only thing you can change is to continue living your life. That’s exactly what you need to do. nothing more and nothing less.

Just live your own life without trying to take control over everyone and everything. Let Go!

 

~via ConsciousReminder.com

MARION SELISTA: “15 Keys To Unleash Your True Authentic Self”

Every person is unique and has something to offer the world. Being authentic means embracing who you are and accepting your uniqueness.

However, being the real you is a challenge to most people because they either don’t know how to connect with their true self or how to unleash it. You are always trying to please others, and live up to society’s expectations, forgetting yourself.

When you finally make yourself a priority, that’s when your life starts. You honor yourself by unleashing your true self. You can now say NO to things and people that do not serve you.

Here’s how you can unleash your true authentic self by using the below 15 key ways.

1. Hello, it is you

Being real starts with discovering who you are deep at the core; what you stand for; your strengths and weaknesses; your passion; and what makes you happy. Knowing yourself will make you happy and experience less inner conflict thus make better decisions. You can also resist social pressure and understand others which makes you a better individual.

2. Self-acceptance

What you think of yourself is shaped over the years by both positive and negative experiences. You will be on the path to self-acceptance when you start restructuring the way you view yourself. You must learn to admit your flaws, and accept what you can’t change. Always set small goals every day, never give up and surround yourself with positivity.

3. Reframe your life according to your principles

The expectations placed on you by society are challenging to live up to. Reframe your life by creating rules for yourself that match your values. Focus on self-care and things that bring the best in you. You will no longer have to follow what everyone expects and can take charge of your life.

4. Meditate

Meditation is a very effective method of unleashing your true self. It draws you into a place deep within yourself for self-reflection and awareness hence giving you a push in the right direction. Daily meditation can result in a rewiring of your brain allowing the decreasing stress and tension.

5. Follow your bliss

You get increased happiness and satisfaction when you do what makes you happy. Doing what you love gives you a sense of purpose and belonging, clear objectivity and self-awareness. Identify what you are genuinely passionate about and give yourself to it thus unleash your true self.

6. Find your purpose

You find your place in life when you identify the reasons for your actions and set meaningful goals. It keeps you motivated throughout your life and you remain focused on meeting them.

7. Don’t look for external approval

Seeking external validation is a burden and affects your decisions in your life. Stop letting the outside world dictate your opinions or actions. Your dreams don’t have to be acceptable to everyone. You will be happier living by your beliefs.

8. Practice gratitude

Being a grateful person has numerous benefits; it makes your life easier, happier, and healthier both physically and psychologically. You look at life with a positive attitude. You can maintain excellent relationships with others. Practice it through; letters of appreciation when someone does a good thing for you; sharing with family everything you are grateful for during meals; Writing on paper what you are thankful for and putting it in a jar; keep a journal of things you are thankful for and not taking what you have for granted.

9. Be present

You embrace the real you when you start living in the present and avoid obsessing about the past. Enjoy every moment.

10. Compare yourself to you only

Comparing yourself to others only results in evaluating and rating yourself by chasing symbols of status and success. Unlock your authentic self by accepting yourself the way you are and measuring yourself by your standards.

11. Become your best self

Master these three elements that make you the best you can be;

Connectedness  appreciate what you have now by showing love for what you have and don’t take anything for granted.

Calm observe your thoughts as they pass through your mind by staying calm.

Motivation  understanding the reason you do the things you do will spur you to continue striving to accomplish your objective.

12. Love

People often ridicule and give you a strange look when you are authentic. Self-love entails accepting and expressing your true self. It involves loving yourself and living life to the fullest just the way you are. You can’t give love if you don’t love yourself first.

13. Trust

Follow your wisdom and gut instead of looking externally for inner peace. Avoid seeking others’ opinions and get guidance from within yourself. Honor your emotions instead of hiding them thus unleashing the real you.

14. Authenticity

If you can’t be yourself, who else can you be? Connect with your inner self. It involves letting go of the false identity of who you think you should be and instead allowing the real you to emerge.

15. Affirmation

Affirmations are very easy and powerful to use. They train your mind through repetition and positive encouragement to connect to yourself. It entails thinking good thoughts, expressing who you are, taking actions to meet your needs and doing what you want. It builds self-esteem and unleashes your true self.

Final words

Learning to unleash your true authentic self is not an easy task- though it is a rewarding challenge. You discover yourself; identify your true passions; let go of past mistakes and accept yourself. You break free from crippling self-doubts and love yourself just the way you are. Being the real you helps you find your purpose, build your self-esteem; and brings you happiness in life.

 

~via ConsciousReminder.com